My 7 year old and his possible Aspergers...

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My son, Carson, is 7 years old. We have been in the process of getting a diagnosis. The school social worker suggested Aspergers, so I looked into it. So many things fit him, but several didn't. Since then, I've researched even further, and with my fingers crossed, he may just have a mild case. He has difficulty socializing with mainly peers his own age,.. with adults he's wonderful! He has always had a difficult time with foods and won't try new things. He also speaks before thinking about what he's saying.
We've taken him to a Dr now and she was not convinced by seeing him it was AS, but with the story my husband and I told her she says definately. We are pending a 'neuropsychological evaluation and IQ testing' before an actual diagnosis. In the mean time, the Dr strongly suggested that we try and treat his ADHD symtpoms. (at the Dr's office that day, he was not himself. Very nervous, anxious, etc. Of course she saw ADHD!)
We have been on Concerta now going on 2 months, with a recent increase in dose. I can see some difference, but not a lot. I am not convinced this is the medicine for him, but I'll give it a little longer.
Carson has a very hard time with things that don't go his way (especially when playing with his Transformers and they don't go quite right!!) He get so ANGRY and wants to just destroy them or throw them away. He runs up to his room and CRIES AND CRIES. It's hard to console him. I usually try to divert his attention, but it doesn't always help. Recently on a trip to WalMart, he had the worst breakdown ever.... because I refused to buy him a Transformer. He was becoming very defiant (my mother was along), and states "When I grow up I'm just going to steal them!" After continuing to say no, he started to cry loudly. We went to sit down at the fitting room. He started to hit himself, say he was going somewhere else to live, and (the worst!) say he was going to kill himself! He had NEVER said this before, and never became this angry! As I checked out, my mom went ahead and took him and his little brother out to the car, which pissed him off even more. He sat in the car and kicked and screamed at the top of his lungs for at least 10 minutes. We didn't know what to do, and we were to the point of crying ourselves. After the tantrum (he finally just settled down once the car got going), we remembered he said he was hungry before going in. We were only in there maybe 20minutes, then we were going home to eat. I stopped and got him a sandwich at Subway before we made it home, and he scarfed the sandwich down and was as GOOD as gold the rest of the evening. I was so scared for him! That was one of those times of "If I'd only", but we live and learn. This WalMart didn't have a snack bar, or we would have stopped there first. We didn't have intentions on being in there that long!
I am needing some advice, or reassurance I guess, from any other parents out there that have had some issues like this - or have their child on the same medication and what it did for them.

THANKS!

my son is almost 10 years old and Concerta didn't work for him. Behavior wise, it did help - but it made him "sad". We switched
to Focalin XR (15mg) and this is what works for him. Do you find the tantrums are happening more since taking Concerta - it could be a side effect.

Can't help you out on any advice about Concerta, sorry. I know what you mean about kids not fitting the whole AS criteria. From experience with my own son, and other AS children I know, they don't necessarily fit the complete profile. My 8 yr old son fits probably 75% of it to varying degrees. Some things he is almost the opposite on eg. he has the neatest handwriting, and also very precise colouring-in skills, and another thing is that he can read emotions and can be am empathetic child. I have learned that each AS child is very individual and unique as to their "symptoms" and what helps them.

Regarding "mild" AS . . . there are differences on the spectrum, but I'd also add a warning that AS children can seem worse at different stages of their development. My son seemed to have a mild case, although in the last six months things have been much more difficult, especially re behaviour at school. I heard at a course recently that the 8-9 yrs age and also the puberty age are difficult for boys.

Well, I don't know if any of that helps, but I wish you all the best on your search for answers.

misaG,
It sounds like your son is definitely AS to me. It also sounds like he needs help with anger management and stress management. If you just put him on medication instead, then he is not going to learn the skills that he needs in these areas. As for the transformers - if they are his 'special interest' (and Aspies can have more than one by the way) then he probably NEEDS to have either the complete set, or at least all of the ones that are important to him. Low blood sugar levels from not eating can have a profound effect on mood - I know I get stressed more easily and VERY irritable when I haven't eaten for a while. And yes, we do all live and learn. It certainly helps to analyze situations and work out a plan of action in advance to assist in preventing problems. Clear expectations help a lot. Rewards for good behaviour are much more effective than punishments for bad behaviour too.

My son has never taken any medication, so I cannot comment there, but your story of the tantrum sounded rather familiar.

Have you asked your son about the incident, looking back? He may be able to identify what triggered the melt-down. My son often can, and there have been great clues for me in there.

First and foremost, AS kids need everything to go in accordance with the script. You may not have one, but your child will. If the last time you went to Target he got to pick out a transformer, his script may have assumed he was going to get one this time. These scripts are their way of coping in a world they have trouble understanding and when things go off script, the chances for a melt down increase immensely. For many AS, a store is already a stress situation, because of the sensory input, so it is really easy for an event in a store to progress rapidly into full melt-down.

As for ADHD - can your son hold focus when it's something he is interested in? True ADHD is constant, not situational, and AS kids are often mistakenly assumed to be ADHD when they are not. As kids may appear ADHD when bored, experiencing sensory issues, or being stressed, while focusing quite well at other times. If it isn't really ADHD, medication isn't going to work..

One other note - perhaps it is time to give your son an allowance for toy purchases. My son took to the concept of budgeting his own toys very quickly, at age 5, and that stopped all the toy related meltdowns. You have money or you don't have money. He knew how much he had every time we shopped, and he scripted his expectations accordingly. Something to consider, anyway.

And hunger most definitely does play into it all. Probably for most kids.

Hello,

I have 2 sons with Asperger's (aged 10 and .

Both have said they were going to kill themselves during meltdowns/tantrums. It is upsetting but once they had calmed down they had forgotten they'd even said it.

My sons have had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which helped enormously. They also have IEP's (Individual Education Plans). Cognitive Behavioural Therapy isn't going to work is changes aren't made at school and home.

Click on this link to read an article I wrote about emotion management.

http://www.smelena.com/article_emotion_management.php

Regards
Helen

Thank you so much for all of your input. In response to some of your questions...

He does remember the incident, and he remembers exactly what toy he wanted. I haven't asked much more, I try not to remember it!

Also, he can TOTALLY concentrate on things that he is interested in. I've been told that ADHD kids can cocentrate on things like a favorite TV show or video game because it is so stimulating. He doesn't have any problems with this, but he can also focus on a good book that he's into, or a particular toy. He's really into the Solar System too, and he watches the driest shows about planets, but he really enjoys them!

I have tried giving him an allowance, and have even bribed him with quarters to try bites of new things. I praise him along with the quarters, but now it's starting to not work. He said once 'mommy, I have enough money' - ha ha! Also, he is very unorganized. I've told him that if he could keep his toys picked up (he even has a seperate toy room), he would earn money to buy what he wanted. He just is not interested in keeping things up or organized. It's a struggle.

Also, I truely had reserves about putting him on medicine. No parent wants to have to medicate their child to get them to act 'normal'. I was willing to try though!! I have a friend that has had to put her Aspie son on Zoloft - an antidepressant! I've thought about asking his Dr if this round of Concerta doesn't work. As DW_a_mom said, if it isn't true ADHD then meds aren't going to work - I do believe this, and am beliveing it more now that I don't see much of a change.

I appreciate all your replies. I am up for any more advice!!
THANKS SO MUCH!
Melissa

daughter had visual hallucinations on Concerta. took her off that quickly. now she takes Tenex

Just FYI, executive function seems to be an issue with AS. A few AS will be excessively organized, particularly if they are OCD (obsesive/compulsive), but many really struggle with order. There have been some good posts on these boards from AS describing the overwhelming feeling they get at the thought of organizing, and also how they often actually do know where things are in the mess. Fortunately my son has chosen to put more order in his life, he came to realize he like things that way, but I'm not sure this can be taught. Just keep selling the "why" of it, and keep helping him with it, then hope for the best.

As far as organization goes, I have helped him clean up his room before and he has such a sigh of relief after I get done! I think it makes him feel a lot better, but he just refuses to do much to help. I know this is probably hard for him, but it's aggravating at the same time. I always try to help him, but after he picks up 3-4 (of his million) toys, he's done. We're working on it though!

for my hubby, who's also AS, picking up can be overwhelming- he doesn't know where to start & once he does start, he often gets lost in the task-gets pre-occupied with an item he's picked up.....he also has difficulty throwing things away- he has a story for just about everything he's ever found or bought.

With any child, and especially AS and ADHD children, it helps to have a set place to put things - remember that old saying: 'a place for everything and everything in it's place'? Then when it comes to putting toys away, the child already knows where each toy belongs. To make it more fun and less overwhelming, encourage them to use a system, e.g. put away one colour at a time, or one shape at a time, or the largest first then down to the smallest, etc. One of my little AS family members responds well to being timed for everything, i.e. "I wonder if you can do this in five minutes", or "let's see how many seconds it takes you to do this..."

My son, age 7.5, is AS, ADHD and has SPD. What you need to remember is that all of these fall under the same umbrella and a child can have little bits of everything thrown together, maybe more AS than ADHD or the other way around. My son was originally diagnosed as ADHD and 2 years later it changed to an AS diagnosis. As they grow up and learn coping skills all aspects of their personalities, disorders etc is going to change.

Concerta for us was a nightmare. It was our introduction into medication and my son was 'as high as a kite' on it and had hallucinations. He could not actually formulate a sentence properly, it was as if he had verbal diarrihea. He only fell asleep at 2.30am on the first day taking it, complaining that there were creatures in his bed.
You said you were not sure if concerta was the right medication - TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR - each child is totally different and they all have different reactions to the medication.

When we have meltdowns we also get the 'you don't love me', I don't want to live here anymore, I don't want a family etc ... It is just the way that they are interpreting the situation as they cannot verbalise the situation or explain themselves properly that they come out with the easiest way to explain themselves which to us not always the best way.

It is a very long road being a parent of a child with these issues so just take one day at time and remember that you are doing the best thing possible by helping your child at a young age and not waiting until they are extremely troubled teens to try and fix problems.

I never put my son on any meds. At 7 year check-up, the doctor wanted to prescribe something for him for ADHD. My son was spinning around the room, which is not his every day behavior. I said, no to the drugs.

I'm really just posting to let you know that it's pretty standard for the doctor to want to prescribe something. They feel like they can treat those symptoms. I didn't think it was right for us.

Your son sounds just like a number of other children on here. AS may indeed by a correct diagnosis.
The effect of various drugs that are available for treatment, varies depending on the drug and the kid involved. What works for my kid may or may not work for your kid. As kids grow, their body weight changes, and the drugs need to be readjusted. When puberty kicks in, the drugs need to be adjusted. When (X) the drugs need to be adjusted. You as the parent, are probably the best judge of when that might be.

Why take drugs? For some aspies, drugs can take the edge of of things, and make it easier to communicate and get along socially. This makes it more likely that they can developer the social skills they need for later in life.

For your transformer issue, with the associated melt down, I suggest you let him buy it with his own money. My kids get an allowance based on factors (age/compliance with parents/responsibilities) They buy what they want, no questions asked.
Perhaps, you can set up some performance related goals, and something to track successes to earn an allowance over the course of a week.

It's an opportunity to let your kid succeed.