Drinking and ASD

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I admit it freely- I drink. A lot. Usually 6 or more drink per day, every day. It helps me to numb the fear, stiffle the doubts and gloss over the idiotic things I tend to say or do ("Oh, he's just been drinking". I guess for much of my adult life I've rathered preferred to be The Drunk rather than That Guy with What's-It-Called.

Anyone else care to join in?

I don't drink. I didn't like the taste of it when I was young. When I was in my teens I heard many stories of people losing control of their drinking habits or of themselves under the influence of drink and thought, this could very easily be me. So I got very scared of drink and I still don't drink to this day.

Drinking is a way of self-medicating. I think it helps with social anxiety, from my personal experience, but not a good way to go about treatment.

I admit I drink to self-medicate, but I know it's the wrong thing to do. Especially with all the meds I'm on.

I drank. I drank a lot. I would get so anxious about not having enough to drink I would get up (well come to, anyway)at 4:30AM and drink (someone else's) beers I hid in the vegetable crisper the night before and pass out again before finally coming to later in the morning. I graduated to living on BLM land on the flood plain and gained the job of hitchhiking for the beer down into the little mountian town and back. One night I drank more than my share of the beer and knowing that they would never entrust me with their money again I knew I couldn't go back. I started wandering the highways, sleeping in the ditches and shivering in the rains. I would hitch one way until I got enough beers or sometimes hard liquor . . . hard liquor was rough, I would stand on the highway with my hand out, pretending to be Red Sonja, to stop the white lights racing at me. I stopped them alright. . .screaming horns and cursing people and near misses but my satisfaction that I still had some power, that I had not turned into a ghost in the night as I fumbled around on the sides of the roads, passing out and rolling down the grade back into the ditch.

One night a man picked me up and was not interested in my body, but took me far up the hill to a Girl Scout camp and lit a fire in the fire place. I was wearily trying to struggle out of my clothes but he was backing out the door, telling me to have a good warm night. In the morning I got a ride down the road with a mom with her kids in the back, she was taking them down to the school bus. I remember looking in the windows of the houses there, when the day was done and people were having family dinners with mom and dad and little children in their chairs. I had forgotten that happened in the world.

Merle

I'm sorry you went through all that Merle.

You're not better than me and I am not better than you. You got a little high and mighty on me the other day and I'm still steamed from it, I guess.

it got a lot worse before it got better, slowmutant, but in the end I learned how to live with out booze, so I guess it has a happy ending.



I don't even see people as better or worse and I don't hold myself up as someone anyone else has to measure against. I don't think you liked it because I told you I was going easier on you than others because you were examining yourself and doing something about what you saw in there. Self examination is a good thing, slowmutant, and I support you in your endeavor. Sorry you got all steamed up about it.

Merle

What really gets me steamed is having the self-discipline to be a better WP member and then seeing other members gleefully breaking the rules I have consciously adhered to.

I used to drink, and it spiralled out of control to the point where I know it was killing me, yet I continued anyways. I finally reached a point where I realised that I couldn't go further and finally stopped. --I haven't touched the stuff since late 1991.


Also FWIW, this is my 2000th post here.

I never developed a drinking problem.. and what I did to self medicate was just as bad.. I ATE!

I drink like a fish. Constantly.
-Even right now.

Despised the notion of drinking alcohol "cos it's fun," losing control, getting wasted...until I did it. I happen to be a total hypocrite. For the few times I got utterly wasted (which takes not much at all in my case), I mellowed out and have a few shots of Rumplemintz with a good friend, and talk a whole night away over a game of some sort. Takes the "edge" off the world, and for that I think it's worth it at times...

Thats a thing thats pretty typical for aspies.

Lst time I came unhinged was because my mom drove a little way down a one way road.. the wrong way. she was trying to get to a place to turn around and had traveled less than 100 feet the wrong way.

Social rules can be funny. Its perfectly legit to break them in certain circumstances. Often as aspies we dont see the exceptions, but rules can often be broken when it promotes a greater good, is amusing to the alpha dogs, or situations like that. We(ME), just have to take it in stride. It seems unfair that they seem applied unevenly, but its a fallacy to assume that they should be.

But we dont get to make that call. We just take the chance.

I'm sure I understand you.

welcome to my world, slowmutant. that is exactly how I feel being a mod and having the self discipline to be an exemplary WP member and watching others gleefully breaking the rules I consciously adhere to. Could have said it better myself. My biggest success is when I can depend on those who feel the same way and my PM inbox fills up with folks sending me PMss of the disrespect to WP and posting a link to that same occurrence. This way nothing spirals out of control and we all are able to enjoy our online home.

Merle

I'm glad I'm not alone in this!

But why are some members being allowed to gleefully break rules in the first place?