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Whether you are browsing, or like to post here, what brings you to the Love and Dating forum?

This isn't one of those passive aggressive posts, but borne out of pure curiosity, promise: D

Is it a fascination or obsession in relationships, for self improvement reasons, or only when the s**t has hit the fan? Do you feel you are duty bound to pass whatever knowledge you have? Or is it just something to do?

I come to share you my expertise of how I pull a girl in one glance and how I make girls swarm around you like flies.

I come here to share you about my countless experiences in relationships so you single people feel like dirt and so inferior to me.

I am De Machost MAn of Da Wurld



and the cock crows three times....

Because I more or less made my name on this forum here. And because I feel I can (and have) help(ed) people with my experience and understanding.

Ok. Do you believe that the social skills that you have, or don't have are different than many other ASD? Like we have different blind spots?

Also it occurred to me to ask. Why would you help?

There was a study not long ago that showed functional brain scans on those that like to give to charity lit up the same area of the brain, as gamblers, or those experiencing romantic interest or sexual arousal. The pleasure centres of the brain.

I suspect a bit of ego stroking is pretty natural.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 15 Oct 2008, 10:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

For me, it is a fascination or obsession with relationships. Being single 21 years gives you plenty of time to observe other relationships, which are fascinating and foreign to you. I think for me, it is an underlying curiousity as to what happens in a relationship and the possibilities of one. So many emotions, so many interesting things occur. I liken it to a man looking at a hawk in the sky and wondering how the hawk in sky feels when he is soaring over the Earth and taking in all the beautiful scenary. Only the "hawks" this time are fellow human beings.

The second reason I come is to learn about what other people are going through romantically and trying to give them advice. Yes, it is ironic, a guy who has never dated giving advice to people who have. But I am wise, and I like to help people out while learning about them.

The final reason is to let out my venom when I'm dissapointed or malcontented romantically. That hasn't happened in a while, but it has happened before. Being single 21 years does skew your perspective of romance a bit, and objectivity is a bit out of question if you are unhappy about being alone. But hey, I've dealt with it.

I honestly believe I have more or different social skills than a lot of peopel on here because I was forced into a church social setting every sunday for my whole life and so a lot of what people with Asperger's can't necessarily do - empathise, read body language, etc. - I can do subconsciously the way NTs do. Since I've hit university, my Asperger's is in tatters, really, hardly any of it is left. I see myself as like, a bridge between NT and ASD, so I try and explain the NT way of looking at things to people on here to help them out. and this includes in relationships, because all of my relationships (aside from the one I'm in) took place pre-diagnosis, so I didn't have it to consider.

sorry I edited my post.

It never ceases to astonish me how much harder it is for aspie guys to find gf's than it is for aspie gals to find bf's. I suppose I know the reason why-because the overwhelming majority women are pretty much hardwired to want men with good social skills which is exactly what aspie guys Lack. So yeah, I understand it rationally but its very hard to accept............................

I don't think anything we do is completely selfless and I don't mean this in a cynical way. For instance the learning curve I climbed to make friends served a biological need and still does. In my minds eye they are great.

A society needs lot of different people to be a success. In a way we are more in common with ant colony than pack of group animals. Except most ants have zero change of breading and we are much more individual. Humans have a lot of relationships, which lead me to think that almost anyone has a chance.

I don't see what the point of saying women have it easier. It takes two to tango. We are not competing against them (except if you are after bisexual girls)

That's an impossible question to answer. Why would I NOT help? It's an altruistic thing to do. I have experience, why not help people who have trouble in this area?



Well thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt

I end up on this forum only when I'm clicking through the topics on the sidebar of the main page of WrongPlanet. And then I only post if I think I have something useful to say. Sometimes I am totally wrong about how useful my post might be. I have been married for 36 years so I think I might understand how a marriage and what causes one might work. I chose my husband for a whole lot of reasons, but the one that I think most aspies ought to work on is the character trait of kindness. Ha! So ought all NTs.

Yes, I believe altruism can light up the brain with pleasure. The whole two weeks of the year I spend in Rwanda I'm running on endorphins and adrenaline. By the time I get back to the US I have spent all I have and I crash. I spend the next week in bed restoring my hormone levels. www.comeandseeafrica.org If you go through the pictures, I'm the fat lady holding a chicken and grinning from ear to ear.

why do you think you have aspergers? Do you think you might have been miss diagnosed? Perhaps you just have a tendancy to ocd?

Ive tried lots of different things but my AS gets worse with the years (with the greater expectations of parenthood etc) not less. I have a degree in psychology and read most self help books yet I still lack theory of mind and automatic social skills.

I dont think going to church would be enough to make you have automatic (subconscious)social skills?

No but were sure as hell ARE competing against NT men who are not only more numerous but more attractive to most women!
Thats really my point. Furthermore, all of the 3 women that I have dated I met online or through printed personals. No doubt I might have been fancied by strangers but Ive never been able to pick up on that sort of thing. My point is that men and women have very different standards regarding social skills and women as a whole are a lot more social than men.

It's the provocative subject lines.

No, I don't think I have been misdiagnosed, but I have a lot of willpower and have just forced myself to unlearn a lot of my routines and such. Being transferred into a new locale (university) was very useful for that. I took a positive attitude towards it, I saw it as a challenge, rather thnan a negative thing. Who knows, maybe I was misdiagnosed - but I certainly don't think so.