Aspie girl thinks she can only date another aspie, BUT

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I would seriously consider if insulting each other is worth your membership in WP, you guys. We don't allow it, you know.

Merle
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I was originally just going to include the bold part, but it seems everything you say in this post is a dangerous misconception.

Speaking as an aspie girl with relationship experience (Obviously I'm not the be all and end all on the the topic) but if, as you say "the initial infatuation wears off" I would break up with that person, if they didn't break up with me first. If you are not infatuated with the person, then what is the point of being in a relationship? You may as well just be friends. In long lasting relationships, I believe the infatuation and obsession between the two people in the relationship only grows stronger over time.

Secondly, not all aspie girls are anti-social or complete introverts. I personally enjoy going to social functions, and can be quite extroverted. I think only one social function a month (If you're classifying social functions as meeting with a group of friends as well as things like clubbing) would be not nearly enough for me to be happy.

Thirdly, I would spend either approximately an hour to an hour and a half on the phone to my bf every night, or several hours on msn. I don't believe either of us found this time boring, as we used it to speak of all kinds of things, and definitely not just small talk (now that WOULD be boring). I like to talk about philosophical topics, our interests, world affairs, and even imaginative banter. But I think if the other person didn't have anything to say, then I wouldn't be dating them in the first place. I probably speak for other aspies too here in that I'm not interested in dating shallow people.

Finally, if you can't find enough to talk about with your partner for at least one hour a day without it being a strain (I'll grant you, an hour a day sounds like a lot when you haven't been in a relationship, but believe me when you are in a relationship this feels like nothing - I could easily talk to my ex-bf for six hours a day without straining myself) then you're only using them for physical gratification. Sounds harsh, but it's true.

That's why I'd rather not start a relationship until I know that there's a good chance such a relationship would work in the long run. Otherwise it's a waste of energy.


If you classify meeting with a group of friends as a "social function" (which by the book definition it would be), then I can understand being social fairly often. On the other hand, you'll never find me in a club. I'd rather spend the night gaming at a friend's house than going to some club with a crapload of strangers.


Too bad I haven't met a woman yet (outside my family anyway) that would talk about deeper things. If I did meet someone like that, I could keep a conversation going for hours on end (and I can with people in my family who have alot to talk about).


Again this depends on the other person in question. Like you, if I met someone (in my case a woman) that couldn't handle complex topics relating to science, philosophy, etc, I probably wouldn't be dating that person in the first place...

You just have to find the right one! It's sooooooooooooo much work to have a relationship with someone who's neurologically different from you.. and I mean the work of bridging the gap between your neurological differences! Not to mention the regular work of making a relationship work. So it's double-work to have a relationship with an NT!
I'm sure you know what I mean. I'm sure you've tried making it work with an NT.

BUT with another aspie, yes, it's so much easier to make it work, because you just work on the relationship, as your neurology is already similarly organized.
Seriously... don't give up hope!

I have living proof that your assumption isn't correct-- my aspie fiance who I met on Wrongplanet. There ARE good ones out there, you just have to find them.
Every human being, NT or aspie has to search for the right one and keep dating until you find someone good that you're compatible with. Those are just two bad eggs out of thousands and thousands.

Good luck

Nononooooooooo... this is NOT true, my friend.
I'm an aspie female and sexual and I've had an aspie male partner who is NOT sexual and doesn't think about sex.
Your statement may be true for you, but you can't generalize based on your own experiences.
I'm the one who is physical and considers sex as love. I'm female. He was the one who considered talking as love, because he didn't like touch.
I know us aspies tend to see the world in black and white, but this view isn't accurate all the time.
Everyone's different..

Sorry, my experience says that it depends on the individual.


Isn't the stereotype supposed to be that women think that sex=love, and men just want to get laid without love? (Notice that I said "stereotype". I think it depends on the individual).