Aspie girl thinks she can only date another aspie, BUT

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WurdBendur
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17 Oct 2008, 2:04 am

AutisticMalcontent wrote:
Women view love as the amount of time a guy spends with a girl, and the affection and care he shows for her. Men, obviously, view love in the sense of foreplay and sexual intercourse, it undeniably what know and consider "love" because it is fufilling our "love" needs. Autistic or not, this is true of all men.


Read Dr. Atwood's The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome. It has a chapter on relationships. Both of your explanations resemble the kind of immature understanding of love presented in that book. Love is not just spending time with someone (we do that with friends), and it's not just sex. Men know that too. Showing affection is a little closer to the point, but I can flirt with anybody. Even you. ;) And I would probably hate you in real life.

Aspies are typically delayed in social development and have a corresponding immature view love as a desire to do helpful things or otherwise show affection or interest. For NT's this is roughly a junior high level or so, but a more mature view of love is as a bond based on trust and understanding.

It's a cultural expectation that men are more sexual, but this can be attributed to our historically greater freedom to express ourselves sexually, while women have been (and still are) forced to repress or hide these feelings. Likewise, men are pressured to be less emotional at the risk of appearing effeminate. We all have these things in us. To the Greeks, women were the ones with insatiable sexual appetites. This, in part, is why it was so remarkable that the women of Lysistrata brought about the end of the Peloponnesian War by withholding sex from their husbands and why it was initially so difficult for them to commit to it.

My point is, that difference is mostly one of perception, altered by limited allowance for expression. Also, everyone is attracted to physical beauty, not just men.


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17 Oct 2008, 5:39 am

I do not get bored of people, especially girls/women.


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sinsboldly
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17 Oct 2008, 9:23 am

WurdBendur wrote:
To the Greeks, women were the ones with insatiable sexual appetites. This, in part, is why it was so remarkable that the women of Lysistrata brought about the end of the Peloponnesian War by withholding sex from their husbands and why it was initially so difficult for them to commit to it.

.


women get 'insatiable' when men don't have a clue about sex and are not open to suggestion.

Merle


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AutisticMalcontent
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17 Oct 2008, 11:06 am

To all those who replied back to my statement, let me clarify. Psychology DOES state that men view love in the sense of sex, eventually. That doesn't mean that I consider men sex-loving maniacs who are players and only care about sex. There are guys in this world who value more things than sex, but in the end, sex is what a guy will deem as an action of love, or one of the most gratifying aspects of love. It does not mean he solely seeks to have sex, it merely means that it is one of the things he will consider an act of love.


d1ng0d0g wrote:
AutisticMalcontent, part of what you just said is utter and complete nonsense. It's nonsense for any male. Yes, there are some that indeed do think about love as sex only, and I'm almost willing to bet that is what you see when you look in the mirror each morning.

I do agree with the last bit, that she should not limit herself in any way.


My, aren’t we quick to go straight to personal insults. Rather immature of you, and I’ll have you know that I don’t think about sex when I look in the mirror each morning. I’ve been single 21 years and I have grown more than apathetic about women, therefore I don’t even bother dating or looking for some gal to screw. Before you decide to mouth off, think before you speak. What I wrote above was MY interpretation based on what I read in psychology.

WurdBendur,

I like your analysis, it makes a lot of sense. But mind you, hating me or other who have different ideas and opinions is not a good way to make friends in life.



Ishmael
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17 Oct 2008, 11:58 am

Uh... Autisticmalcontent, toddlers don't date.
Where on earth do you read that "psychology", authored by whom?!
Bah, nonsense! The reproductive act is no more or less important to the psychological makeup of either gender; besides which, not with the intent of being insulting, you essentially labelled yourself de facto asexual, or at least very disinterested, with little or no experience in any sort of a relationship. Frankly, you're opinion doesn't count for s**t, not without personal experience to at least give foundation for your claims. May sound rude; but it is apt.


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AutisticMalcontent
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17 Oct 2008, 12:10 pm

Everyone's always a critic



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17 Oct 2008, 12:18 pm

Xanderbeanz wrote:
Phoenix22 wrote:
i have high intelligence, am well-travelled, have a smokin' hot bod and a pretty face.


pix or it didn't happen XD


Yes photos please



WurdBendur
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17 Oct 2008, 1:47 pm

AutisticMalcontent wrote:
WurdBendur,

I like your analysis, it makes a lot of sense. But mind you, hating me or other who have different ideas and opinions is not a good way to make friends in life.


I don't hate you because you disagree. I hate you because you're a git.


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AutisticMalcontent
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17 Oct 2008, 9:25 pm

WurdBendur wrote:
AutisticMalcontent wrote:
WurdBendur,

I like your analysis, it makes a lot of sense. But mind you, hating me or other who have different ideas and opinions is not a good way to make friends in life.


I don't hate you because you disagree. I hate you because you're a git.


Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. A git is an ignorant childish person who is lacking in manners, and this seems more than descriptive of you. If you had any manners, you wouldn't feel the need to insult other people to get your point across, and it takes a very immature/childish person to start name calling. Arrogance is the curse of mankind, if people tried to live civilly and not let their own egos get the best of them, we would have a lot less problems then we already have. Curse men and their pride, it does not serve them well at all.



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17 Oct 2008, 10:17 pm

dude, youll realise that many people on WP are above the bigender system and the whole current "gender war" simply through being "out of the loop" to regular NT's and what they deem is relevant....you need to think VERY CAREFULLY before you make such SWEEPING STATEMENTS, as "men do X" and "women do X"

there are such a thing as individuals in this world, you know!

<3 xander x



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17 Oct 2008, 11:14 pm

Xanderbeanz wrote:
dude, youll realise that many people on WP are above the bigender system and the whole current "gender war" simply through being "out of the loop" to regular NT's and what they deem is relevant....you need to think VERY CAREFULLY before you make such SWEEPING STATEMENTS, as "men do X" and "women do X"

there are such a thing as individuals in this world, you know!

<3 xander x


You are entitled to your opinion. I will say that I have much more regard and respect for you than these other pompous loud mouthed fellows who come here and call be a moron or a fool and think they are superior to me. I don't mind people disagreeing with me, but I do not like being openly insulted about my opinions. There is nothing worse in this world than a judgemental bigot who thinks he has the authority to call other people fools or the like and does not think about his own actions when he says it.



Xanderbeanz
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17 Oct 2008, 11:20 pm

i have no authority...and really....isn't that the whole point?????



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18 Oct 2008, 12:32 am

I think the (mis)conception comes from the difference in social tendencies between Aspies and NTs. I've never been in any kind of relationship so if I'm talking out my ass here, I apologize for it. However, I imagine that most NT women are women who want to go to various parties and other social gatherings fairly frequently. It also seems that many NT women want to spend quite a lot of time on the phone with their significant other. When my guy friends have girlfriends, it seems they have to spend at least an hour and a half a day on the phone with each other, even when they don't have anything to say. Again, this is just a preconception, but it seems that these issues would be less strenuous if both were Aspies. After the initial infatuation wears off, I believe I would resent feeling like I have to be on the phone for an hour or more and I definitely wouldn't want to go more than 1 social function a month.



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18 Oct 2008, 12:44 am

I think the (mis)conception comes from the difference in social tendencies between Aspies and NTs. I've never been in any kind of relationship so if I'm talking out my ass here, I apologize for it. However, I imagine that most NT women are women who want to go to various parties and other social gatherings fairly frequently. It also seems that many NT women want to spend quite a lot of time on the phone with their significant other. When my guy friends have girlfriends, it seems they have to spend at least an hour and a half a day on the phone with each other, even when they don't have anything to say. Again, this is just a preconception, but it seems that these issues would be less strenuous if both were Aspies. After the initial infatuation wears off, I believe I would resent feeling like I have to be on the phone for an hour or more and I definitely wouldn't want to go more than 1 social function a month.



sinsboldly
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18 Oct 2008, 3:03 am

Xanderbeanz wrote:
dude, youll realise that many people on WP are above the bigender system and the whole current "gender war" simply through being "out of the loop" to regular NT's and what they deem is relevant....you need to think VERY CAREFULLY before you make such SWEEPING STATEMENTS, as "men do X" and "women do X"

there are such a thing as individuals in this world, you know!

<3 xander x


I have always thought I wouldn't respect a 'God" that wasn't above all that gender stuff, anyway.

Merle


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