Becoming a parent - Having kids.

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How do you see yourself as a parent? If you _are_ a parent; How do you think your parenting skills are contra what you thought before you had babies?

It is everywhere now a days, how one should have a baby.. and one could't possibly go on in life without reproducing. I think it's a total load of crap.. And I would not overexadurate when I say I hate kids. I can not relate to them at all..

I plan to get sterilised when I'm 25.. only 2 and a half years to go.




(sorry if my spelling is bad.. I have a severe case of "cat on typeboard" going on..)

Well ...

It isn't "these days" that make people want to have kids, unless you are referring to your age. Society has always driven people to have kids. It's part of the survival of the species thing. Everything in most of us is wired with it.

But, if you don't want to be a part of it, don't be. I just caution against deciding that for an entire lifetime by such a young age as 25. People change, what they want changes, and choices change. There are many ways to enjoy life and all that comes with it while avoiding children without making a drastic and permanent decision like sterilization.

As for me, I always wanted kids. Everyone told me I was going to be the best mom. And, well ... yes and no. Nothing is like you think it's going to be, and it is impossible to know how you will do in the "job" and how much you will like it until you are it, which of course is what makes it so difficult, because you can't exactly change your mind after the fact, given that a precious and vulnerable life is now involved.

I do have a college friend who swore she would never have kids. She was always annoyed by them. But ... things change. She's a mom. And she LOVES it. Perhaps it's easier for her because she didn't spend her life assuming she would love it, lol, so it didn't take much for the experience to exceed expectations.

Not that I have any regrets. I don't. I adore and love my kids with all of my being. But it is hard, more than I expected. No one should become a parent unless they are comfortable with the choice and all the uncertainties that come along with it.

I have no desire at all to have kids. It's more responsibility than I could ever imagine, and I don't have it in me to be a parent.

Definitely don't have kids if you don't want them. They are a huge amount of work, and you pretty much have to stop pursuing your own interests (to the extent that you did before) in order to see that their needs are met. At least that has been my experience.

I can see the argument that people should have fewer children. I even felt a little guilty when I got pregnant. But after becoming a parent I feel it is the most meaningful thing that I've ever experienced. I've grown and changed in ways I couldn't have imagined.

I do sometimes find the daily tasks terribly challenging and often boring, but luckily I have a DH that shares parenting responsibilities equally (so the burden's not all on me).

After having kids I also feel that my parenting philosophy is so far from the mainstream that I feel a sense of purpose in parenting by example. I think many cultural problems can be transformed if parenting practices can be transformed.