Loniness and Busyness

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I am an Aspie. Right now several of my closest friends are too busy to be in relationship with me at this time, one has even shut me out of thier life all-together. Has any of you been in such a situation before? What do you think of all the excesive busyness is our society? How do you cope? These relationships have left a void in life in terms of human connection, affirmation, respect and feedback. How do you fill this void?

Not sure if this helps; I wait.

I've met several people who I thought to be friends with; but when they'd find a girl, they'd shut out all of their friends, not just me. For an Aspie it's hard to do the relation thing; but even NT's are weirded out by it. Sometimes people are so happy they've finally found someone, that they dedicate themselves to that relationship.

Other friends (and imho they are the friends that "get" you, or accept you, mostly) are open for contact or initiate contact again when they're ready for you. And some friends would accept you again if they knew, but right now they just don't get you. Honestly, I'm still working up the courage to re-initiate contact with people i've lost contact with 2 and 6 years ago, who I think would get me if I just told them. (And i freak out completely when i get near their house).

Just wait, but occasionally ask if everything's Ok (personally, via IM or via text/sms, that doesn't matter). A reply also doesn't matter; just let them know you'd be there for them. Sometimes they come back to you, sometimes they don't; but the excluding-friend will be the exception, not the norm.

The above is based on my experience with friends. You'll learn, they'll learn, and somewhere is your middleground.

[edit]Spelling errors / clarification[/edit]

Hi Goose, does your friend have a boyfriend, or is she engaged at all?

One is definately single-as far as I can tell, the other two already have partners. Two are male, one female. The one who is female already is already in a commited relationship.

But, you guys are right, I did loose one friendship in part to him moving, in part to him finding a wife.

Does this answer your question?

I'm right there with you. I have a good friend (my only friend aside from my husband), who I really like getting together with. She clearly enjoys my company, so I don't think she's making excuses, but it's amazing how "busy" she is all the time. I think she's just a tightly-wound person. She makes lists of things for herself to do because she feels guilty if she's not running errands or something. So every time I see her, she's got to pick up the dry-cleaning, do her weekly school volunteer project, buy supplies for her kid's birthday party, return a pair of pants that don't fit, and write out 150 Christmas cards. That's on a typical day. And she assures me that everyone else she knows, aside from me, is four times as busy as that. I wouldn't know, because I don't get close enough to anyone else to find out what they do with their time. It's all I can do to manage to unload the dishwasher before noon.

I am also well acquainted with the experience of having people act like they want to be friends and then proceed to be "too busy" to get together EVER. I've had a couple "friendships" where I took a bit too long to get that hint, and I don't want to go through that again, so I have very little tolerance for that. If you say you are "too busy" but you aren't willing to look on your calendar and say, "Wednesday at noon I'm free for coffee if you'd like to get together then, then I take that as a sign that you would rather not hang around with me. And if you truly are so incredibly booked up for every minute of the next six months, then you probably aren't the kind of person who would be able to relate to me very well, and vice versa.