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d057
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27 Nov 2008, 10:25 pm

Im having a problem with a teacher in school. Math is a class that im having trouble in, and the other day, my teacher said something very disrespectful to me. I was returning from being absent for about 3 days because i was sick, i asked my math teacher what i missed, and she said that one of the days i was absent, i missed a test. She told me to come in and make it up during a study hall the next day. I came in during the study hall, and she was not in her room. During class that same day, she asked me why i didnt come into her room during study hall, and i told her that she wasnt in the room when i walked down there. She then snapped at me and said "maybe i wasnt in my room because i didnt want to see you." i did not say anything disrespectful to her, so why would she say something like that to me? This happened on the last day before we went on thanksgiving break, and my mom is going to call the principal about it on the first day back from break. can you think of something i can do about this situation?



Emoal6
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27 Nov 2008, 10:44 pm

I wasnt there so I can only speculate, but could it be possible she was being sarcastic? You dont say your age, so I can only assume you're in high school. In high school, teachers try to win over the class by showing they were once in those seats.

They try to convey themselves as equals, as to gain the trust of the "pack" or majority
of students. They may have noticed your differences and see it as a way to form a common ground with the others. All likely hood tho, they were in a bad mood and waiting for someone to give them a reason to snap at.

People are like this, increasingly as they age. Tolerance and patience are replaced with a lack of them and instead a sense of priviledge. You've made it through the maze so far, you've earned the right to have a bad day, or make someone elses worse than your own. Not fair, but it is life and something you will probably have to learn to deal with. Sorry you had to tho, shouldnt be that way in my opinion.



Gifted-Monster
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28 Nov 2008, 12:26 am

She's embarassed at being caught out and is deflecting. She sees your differences and hopes to exploit them so as to divert attention from their failings and on to you.

Report it to the Principal or the Super-Intendent.

Failing that, make a stand and refuse to do anything until she apologises. Silent protest if you will.

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ephemerella
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28 Nov 2008, 2:04 am

Gifted-Monster wrote:
it to the Principal or the Super-Intendent.


Yes, you have to. She did this in front of others, right, because it was in class?

You have to report it and mention that it was in class in front of other students so you were embarrassed and felt low self-esteem when she said it. (By putting it that way, you will also indirectly telling them that there were plenty of witnesses). You have to report it now because next time there might not be any witnesses.

One way to soften the blow if you do report it is to make excuses. You can say that "I have Asperger Syndrome and sometimes offend people without realizing it. It wouldn't surprise me if I insulted her in some way without knowing that I was. If there was some way I hurt her feelings or acted disrespectfully to her and can apologize to her and smooth it over with her, I want to do that."

If you do report it, keep a record of the report.



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28 Nov 2008, 2:21 am

Indeed. Act humble and self-effacing. Makes you appear kinder. And by swallowing your pride, you appear to be nicer!

This nets you points with the higher-ups.

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gemstone123
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28 Nov 2008, 9:32 am

You're going to report her so there isn't much else you can do. :D
Just forget about it. There's no point wasting your thoughts on a stroppy teacher. :twisted:



kchichester
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28 Nov 2008, 8:58 pm

As a high school teacher, I am appalled. She should never have said that to you. You should report her to the principal. Ask the principal to have a meeting to have a meeting that includes your parent, you, the teacher and the principal. In that meeting it should be made clear that you should be treated with the same respect that she gives every student in her class and that this should not change because you reported this incident to the administration. If you have an IEP, talk to your case worker/teacher and include her in the meeting.

I agree that she might have been joking, but she needs to be aware that Aspie's often don't interpret sarcasm and other banter correctly. :!:



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29 Nov 2008, 4:11 am

I think that the teacher was in the wrong.

I know that sarcasm is sometimes used as wit by some people, also some jokes are nasty. Some people think that it is OK to tell a nasty joke which might offend others, and then when someone is offended that they should blame the offended person by says "You lack a sense of humor".


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Gifted-Monster
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29 Nov 2008, 4:21 am

That's very true.

I often found it good to just encourage teachers to be blunt and honest with me. If I sucked, I'd rather have them tell me straight up than dance around it.

And this is why the American school system is going downhill.

Ya know...when you think about...since Aspergers is considered the "ultimate male" in a way, if you go by the Bible then Adam was an aspie too! Had to come from somewhere after all.

Indeed. A conference with teacher, principal, you and parent is a good idea with documentation proving Aspergers/ Autism and proof you had told the school beforehand so you can't be blamed at all. Keep them on the backfoot at all times.

May seem a bit extreme but getting some advice from a lawyer could help you decimate the teacher but that can be pricy. *Shrugs*

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GM


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Crocodile
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02 Dec 2008, 1:09 pm

She was probably having her period.


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d057
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22 Jan 2009, 3:51 pm

I'm thinking about going to a different school next year, so i wont have to deal with her then.


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