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Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,534
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

06 Dec 2008, 4:40 pm

I'm okay talking to my best friend or my mom, because with both of them, I am free to say something like, "This thought is hard for me to put into words, so bear with me..." and they are just fine with that. They are both people who choose their words carefully, and take their time to say what they mean, just like me. I wouldn't be surprised if my mom was a bit AS, and my friend has a few characteristics, as well.

Here's what is really difficult, though. If I need to make a phone call to take care of something, like some health insurance or banking red tape. I don't know how to talk the "language", and am overwhelmed by the ridiculousness of it all, and the fact that if you mess up, then it could cost you vast amounts of money. It's vital that the person on the other end of the line is a really good communicator, with an accent I can understand. My fear is that I'll get someone who just doesn't click with me, and we can't communicate. The worst thing is when you dial the number, and someone comes on the line saying, "Blahblahblah Blah blah. How may I direct your call?" That never fails to throw me. "How may I direct your call?" Well...I need to talk to someone who can help me with my problem, but now I know that your job is to answer the phone and direct calls, so you are probably NOT going to understand what I'm talking about if I try to explain it.

At least, as I've gotten older, I'm much more willing and able to say, "I don't understand what you mean" or "That's not a term I'm familiar with." When I was in my twenties, I couldn't begin to say something like that. I would shake and stutter, but couldn't just ask for clarification.

Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 90
Location: Sitting in the Shadows

06 Dec 2008, 5:53 pm

Tails wrote:
nothingunusual wrote:
2) I hate the sound of it ringing! If it doesn't make me jump, it irritates me like crazy. :x

Ha, yes, that's the other thing... people often get annoyed with me because they can't get through to me on my cell-phone, because I usually have it switched off because the sudden sound of it ringing (or vibrating on silent mode) startles me too much! I hate being on edge waiting for a call, because of the sudden noise.

I am exactly the same, when my phone goes off it makes me jump a mile, so I usually turn it to vibrate or silent and then miss all my calls from family & friends. Generally I dont like using the phone and get nervous when I have to talk to someone, but force myself to do so. As also said in the posts before, I also never know when its my turn to talk and then either end up talking over the other person or staying silent when I should be talking. I much prefer to text :wink:

Is it better to let people assume you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt??


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Joined: 9 Nov 2008
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,827
Location: Barrington, Illinois

06 Dec 2008, 6:21 pm

SpongeBobRocksMao wrote:
Whenever I hear the family phone ring I fear that it will be for me, even though 99% of the time it isn't. Mainly because....
1. I don't like socialising.
2. I'm terrible at social skills.
3. I don't know who wants to talk to me.
4. I have a social phobia.

I know some Aspies hate talking on the phone, is this similar with you?

Wow, that's me for sure!


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Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 733

07 Dec 2008, 9:35 am

I haven't used the phone in 16 years. Minus when my mum's been in hospital, having to call 911 myself and my sister to tell her the news, etc. That was nine shades of hell for me on top of the stress - I sounded absolutely stupid not to mention incoherent. I'd rather walk across hot coals then talk on the phone.


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Joined: 30 Jul 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 17
Location: Willimantic, CT

07 Dec 2008, 10:38 am

irishwhistle wrote:
Absolutely. I have to force myself to make phone calls, and I have to plan out what I'm going to say, even if the phone call is no more than, "Hello, what are your store hours today? Thank you."

I have to do this too! I'm ok at getting calls, because it's pretty much always someone I already know. Calling someone new is the one that makes me nervous.