Sorry to bring this up again...

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mattw
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07 Dec 2008, 4:16 pm

'll tell the story from the start so you can have the full picture before any conclusions are made...


I began work in a call centre this summer, I have made two really good friends here who are both female (thee were both friends preoviusly through college). We all get on really well with each other and enjoy each others company there (only decent thing about the call centre!).

At the start of October, lauren (the girl i liked) told us all that she had to leave work as her mum was not well and needed her to be with her all of the time. This then really upset me as we got on very well with each other and I had feelings for her, I then told Kim about this as lauren was planning on leaving the place. she had obviously in turn told lauren about these as later on on the same night i got a text from her saying that Kim had spoken to her and asked if I had anything to tell her.

So sure enough, i gave her number a ring and told her what I thought and tried to organise a time we could meet up outside of work. We then decided that we would sort something out after Lauren had decided if she was staying at work or not and that she did not want to have a replationship yet as she wasn't ready for one. We then got a lot closer to each other and worked till 9pm most evenings and then texted each other until the early hours of the morning most days.

We then organised to meet up with each other in the local town however Lauren then couldnt go as she ahd just been to the doctors and they had given her some bad news, this was after it had been aranged for her to stop at work. im not going into detail what had been said at the doctors however caused a lot of upset for a number of people. We did however still contine to be very close at work and continue to text each other and everything.

We then carried on like this for numerous weeks and at the end of October Lauren decided that she was ready for a relationship and we decided we would see how things went. Sadly this lasted for less than a week. Reason behind this been that we had aranged to go to the pictures one night after work however the day before Lauren said she couldnt go as her mum had asked her to babysit. Because of what had happened last time, i foolishly said that if she wasnt interested to tell me. The following day we set off to work as usual in the car and when we got to work sat in the car and had a long talk about what had happened to try and make up and get on, sadly this went the complete opposite and we avoided each other for the rest of the day and she decided to get he bus home from work.

That night i then got a text saying that she cant see us been together any longer but she wanted to remain friends if i was happy about this. I tried appologising to her several times and tried to get back with her however she wouldnt listen to this and ended up switching her phone off.

We then didnt talk to each other until the following week when she sent me a text to see if i had the car for work and to try and forget about everything that ha happened and move on as friends. We were then been really funny with each other at work and in the car not talking to each other and this continued for about a week however we did keep improving our relationship as friends as the week continued until we got to a stage we had been in the past where we got on really well and everything.

At the end of the week we headed off to Macdonalds with Kim and had a really good evening there (supprisingly) and I then dropped Kim off at home first then took Lauren home afterwards. Earlier that day I was winding her mum up saying I would roll into the back of the car deliberatly to wind her up (they knew it was a joke!), i then got back to my house in the car and sent a text to Lauren asking what her mum thought to the big dint I had placed in the car. She then kept texting me telling me that there was a dint there and her mum thought it was me and she didnt want to talk to me anymore however i sent her a text to say it wasnt me and she must have been confused. I then rang her up to try and talk about this however her mum answered the phone and was been really serious about this ... after about 5/10 minutes she told me not to play her at her own game and that she was winding me up and then passed lauren the phone. we had a talk then for about 10/15 minutes about different things and continued texting each other until the very early hours of the next morning!

I then sent her a message to see if we could perhaps meet up and try and have a talk about things with each other (i.e. try and have another go with our relationship) she agreed to this and we had agreed to meet up the following morning however i got a text from her saying she was in a real bad news and didn't wan't to see me as it wouldnt help things. i accepted this and we continued talking with each other through the day as as we had been doing previously.

She then got rather upset that week about a number of family issues however these were then somehow resolved (she kept sharing all of these probems with me to see if I could help). At the end of that week i sent her a message asking if we were still going to meet up and have a talk ... she responded to this saying no she didnt feel like it she only wants to be friends.

Then the next week at work (getting more recent now!) we started to get talking a lot more again and were acting just as we were before we got together the first time, we both seemed a lot happier like this with each other. We carried on texting each other and everything and were getting on really well. On the friday night, she had this day booked off work and had gone to her friends house for a drink. after i had finished work, i headed for the pub for a drink and recieved a phone call from a witheld number.

As usual i answered this phone and had someone on the other end appearnelty trying to sell my cheap car insurance! As i had had several drinks i raised my voice at the person on the phone and in the end hung up as i was getting rather annoyed. sure enough the phone rang again so i answred it and it was the same voice trying to seel me the insurance yet again. I then heared a laugh in the background which sounded very familiar (yes ... this was lauren in the background) with one of her best friends talking to me on the phone! I then had a long talk to Lauren about this and we had a good laugh and everything. she then said she was going to go and get drunk so i went to do the extact same thing until yet again the phone rang, this time from Laurens number so i answered and it was her friend again. she asked me what i would say if lauren said that she loved me so i told her the truth (aparently lauren wasnt in the room at the time). Then she said that lauren had walked back in and she had got confused, she just wanted to be friends with me.

I said fair enough to this and we were still talking just as much as before as there wasnt really anything i had lost or gained! Then fianlly this week came around, and we have been texting each other till late at night and been really close at work, talking a lot instead of actually donig the job properley!) Im sure she knows that i've still got feelings from her and one of the supervirors told us to stop flirting with each other in a meeting (jokingly ... our manager is actually easy to get on with) Then the supervisor came up to us at the end of the night when not many calls were coming through and made a few comments to us as we were been really friendly with each other, she then asked if there was anything going on between us and we said no to her however then laurens friend turned bright red (is this because she is embarassed that she likes or or doesnt want it metioning?)

Then sadly she lost a very close member of her family on Wednesday however still came into work and sat next to me and we were been really friendly again all evening despite the fact she was so upset. and wouldnt talk to anyone else about it at work but me as clearly she was upset. tonight at work we couldnt sit as near to each other as usual however she kept walking over to talk to me and we were talking accross the table even though she had other friends around her.

When she got in the car on Wednesday night she had told me in the past she would never get in the car with me again unless Kim was there as we had the massive argument before, Kim wasnt at work on Wednesday as she was ill however Lauren kept telling me she would get the bus home and was laughing at the same time as if to say im having a lift really. Celarly she was upseyt because of what had happened with her family member she was still been really nice with me (i would have asked her back at this point if it wasnt for this) she doesnt normally sit in the front however kept mesing with anything in the car and found an air freshner to smell on the way home she was making jokes about it all the time (its my mums car). Just before she got out of the car she poked me in the leg (we used to do it regular at work winding each other up but she hasnt done it since we fell out a month or so ago) so i did it back and she then got out the car and went home.

Sadly on my way home i had the car wing mirror took off my a boy racer however said to her the car should be ready for work tomorrow (that been Thurdsay) I then had the car fixted Thursday morning and sent her a text saying the car's been fixed and we were texting each other all afternoon. Then i had a phone call from her asking why i hadnt told her the car was fixed and she was on the bus going to work ... bearing in mind she had just passed me driving the car on the way back from college and waved at me so clearly she saw me! she didnt fall out with me or anything and this got me thinking is she trying to avoid me as shes feeling nervous around me? ive put above what happened at work earlier tonight.

Tomorrow is the funeral she has to go to and work allow a day off for this however she has said she is coming into work as she prefers our company and been around us at work. we have aranged another trip to Macdonalds (along with Kim) tomorrow night after work and we have been texting each other until about midnight today.

Then today she sent me a text by mistake that should have been sent to a friend of hers that is gay and had lots of "x's" and saying she loved him etc so i just sent her a text back saying i best not text you or anything tonight then as i presumed she was seeing another guy. When i asked her about this she said that seen as he is texting his boyfriend im sure hed have no problem me texting my friends at same time and told me to stop jumping to conclusions all the time.

Do you think that she wants me back or is she just trying to be really friendly with me? I dont want to say anything to her as the last thing in the world I want is to loose Lauren as a friend. Sorry about the long essay but i'd like some help and need to know what to say to her. I deffinetly wont be saying anything really soon due to the funeral however would like to know if its ideal to say anything in the future?



Last edited by mattw on 08 Dec 2008, 10:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

t0
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07 Dec 2008, 4:42 pm

Given her complicated family situation I would try your best to be a friend and nothing more. I don't see anything recent in the story where she has outright said she wants to be more. Since she has told you to "stop jumping to conclusions all the time" I would follow that advice.



KaliMa
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07 Dec 2008, 4:43 pm

First, if you can still edit your post you probably should. All but the last 2 paragraphs were repeated, so the post seems unutterably long at first glance.

Second, it seems to me that she knows you like her, even her friend who pranked you on the phone knows you like her, and when she's interested in a relationship she knows where to find you. I think you should just stay friends and be supportive in this difficult time for her, and not push - you might just push her away. Be patient and if she is interested she'll let you know. But then again, I'm a girl. Maybe a guy will give you different advice.


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pakled
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07 Dec 2008, 9:45 pm

it's sounds like you're the 'safety guy'.

On the one hand, family is usually very important to people, so you might have come off as trying to get between her and her family. This is usually counterproductive. Sympathy is always appreciated.

On the other hand, I think she's flirting a lot. It's hard to tell how serious it is, because it sounds like you're doing some emotional heavy lifting, and possibly someone else is getting all the benefits.

It sounds like she hasn't made up her mind. Sometimes it's possible to discuss her declaring one way or the other. It might also help if you figure out what you actually want with her (if you have, skip that part...;) If she wants something more than attention, maybe she'll say so. If she just wants to be friends (as she keeps retreating to), then take it like that. If you find someone else, and go out with the other, then you were just friends, right?

Good luck.



Legato
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07 Dec 2008, 10:30 pm

I apologize, but the wall of text is daunting - I'm not going to read all that. Next time, please make it shorter for our sake >_<



mattw
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11 Dec 2008, 6:24 pm

thanks for the info guys.

I've deleted the dual post ... dont know how that happend.


Things have just got worse and worse this week, I really dont know what to do.



mattw
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01 Jan 2009, 8:32 am

Hi Everyone, I need your help again ... please :)

.......

We've been getting on well again for the past few weeks building upto Christmas.

Here mobile phone (Cell Phone) broke in the middle of December so she couldnt send texts no more, she could only ring off of it. She would not normally ring me as she doesnt like talking on the phone but every day we would have a conversation on the phone about something even if we had been at work that day.

I then went to the seaside one day and she asked me to bring some rock back so I did and went to her house after work one day to have a talk with her and her mum was there aswell.

We were then talking a few days afterwards and she asked me if I could get her mum a new car headlight as they had broke, so I said yes and as a joke took a normal light bulb to her house and told her to put that in the car, both her and her mum laughed about this (i told them it was to get them back for the joke they played on me about the scratch on the car!). The following day I then got her a proper headlight and stopped at her house for a few hours before i went to work (As she wasnt working that day).

Her mum then asked me if i would go and pick her brother up who is at a university about a hour away in the car and take "A" with me, i agreed to this and we picked him up from the university the next day. It was now coming upto Christmas (23rd December) and "A"'s mum needed a present collecting from a depot about half a hour away from where we live however because she was really busy couldnt go ot get it herself so me and "A" went go get this on Christmas Eve and then went to work.

As it was Christmas there were chocolates everywhere ... me and chocolates dont go down well together and put me in a really bad mood (im not allowed them at home) however when they are there i will just simply eat them. Three of us went through a big tub of Cadbury Miniture Heroe's which clearly put me in a bad mood as soon as they had all gone, aparently I looked drunk with all of the chocolates i had aten! ... this then lead to "A" and my other friends at work taking no notice of me however we then headed off home shortly afterwards. About a hour or so after getting home on Christmas Eve she sent me a text asking me if id opened my presents that she had got me for christmas (she never said she was buying anything but said it was for giving her a lift home from work all the time), i told her im not opening them till tomorrow as its not time yet, when I did open them there was a model of a Mini Cooper - she knows that I want one of those cars and a soft toy for the car as she seems to think it needs one.

We were then talking to each other on Christmas Day through texts until late at night getting on really well. She also sent me a text to tell me she had a box of chocolates for me but didnt want to give them me on Christmas Day as she knew my dad would complain at me so gave them me at work on Boxing Day (it wasnt a big box so wee just shared these between us and I was fine).

The three of us then went to Macdonalds after work on Boxing Day as usual on a Friday or Saturday. We all got on really well there and had a good laugh as normal. I then dropped them both off at home and headed back to my house. I'd forgot to tell my dad that i was going there so they weren't happy when I got home and we had a big argument and they "kicked me out" however we sorted this after a few hours and all was fine again.

Because I was annoyed with my parents about this I wasn't in a good mood and got a text from "A" and basically told her to shut up and she took this the wrong way and fell out with me over this. So the day after Christmas id fell out with both my parents and one of my best friends ... couldnt get much worse.

Me and "A" then made up the next day at work after trying to sort it out all through the day. We then started getting on again but fell out over something rather pathetic and she was going to get the bus home from work however I wouldnt let her do this as it was raining and I always drop her off. We then sorted this out that night over the phone and are friends again now and she understands why I said what I did on Boxing Day to her.


Do you think that she has been wanting me to say something to her before Christmas because of the way "A" and her mum was been with me and hence wasnt happy and tried making excuses to fall out with me or could she just be going through a hard time again at the minute and not said anything? Any help would be really apprechiated guys ... thanks.