Why do neurotypicals?

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I agree with this.

But the feeling of queasiness, insecurity and discomfort that some people feel when AS people dissect and micro-analyze what they call NT social behavior, is an NT thing. AS people (who are really AS) don't seem to have the kind of discomfort putting social behavior under a microscope that NTs have. In fact, they do it all the time.

I tend to think that the people who spaz out when these "let's dissect this NT social behavior" thread pop up, aren't really AS.

They simply don'twant to work to become better, and feel that bringing others down will make them look better. Of course, they want to AVOID having anyone do that to THEM, EVEN if it is defensive against THEIR attacks.

Trust me on this one: There are more than a few Aspers who fit that description, even among WP members!

It's twoo! It's twoo!

Are you here to bash and ridicule AS people?

Isn't there a board for non-AS losers to go unload their animus and resentment?

It baffles me why there are non-AS people here lurking and posting, resenting the AS people and trying to pick on them. Is it because this is the forum where you won't get banned as anti-social trolls?

Anti-Social trolls get banned from WP, we're just not allowed to discuss them on WP.

I think your avatar is cute!

Don't be so nice!

Sorry, I'm very militantly anti-bullying. Whenever the speech starts to turn too personal or demonizing in tone, I get acutely uncomfortable.

It's my issue.

No worries ... and please don't cry!

I'm trying to watch my attitude a little more, so that I don't post something that could even be interpreted as bullying. You don't know how many times I've looked to see if this thread was in "The Haven," just so that I don't violate its principles again.

ephemerella, can you please explain to me how you found this statement:


to be bullying?

I'm curious because I don't get that idea at all and want to understand where you're coming from.

Hi, sure. It wasn't so much Fnord, but the "chain of memes" that was building that seemed to begin to sound demonizing when taken out of context. I.e.:



"offended and defensive when they are outwitted..." "massive superiority complexes... little crybabies"

I think that things when put together from certain contexts start sounding differently than what they were intended, and can wander off course into being bigoted or verbally abusive.

What is making me feel kind of uncomfortable is how these threads where people are trying to analyze and dissect NT social behaviors are being either belittled by NTs on the site or moved off course. AS people aren't trying to bash NTs when they do microscopic social behavior analysis. It's an important part of the social cognitive development that is not something that NTs have to do. The NTs on the board who are uncomfortable with it, who don't understand it and who think it's a kind of immature, prejudiced or obsessive thread, are interfering with the kind of processing that some AS people need to engage in here.

NTs hate doing microscopic dissection of social behavior like AS people have to do. Anytime we want to spend some time talking to a friend or relative, why did that person look at me that way, why did they say that, NTs are generally uncomfortable going one or two sentences past an answer. Because they get insecure and feel self-conscious being analytical about socially instinctive behavior. Some people will become outright uncomfortable and upset by it, wanting to know why we're dwelling or fixated on the issue. They don't understand that the clear set of relationships has to be examined and built up explicitly, to understand that social behavior and situation.

I think that when AS people start threads like this, asking about some NT social trait or behavior, it's wrong for NTs at the site to come and dump on it. Or to start picking at the AS person who posted it, and how ignorant or clueless or baseless the question is. Because I think that is interfering with what a lot of people get from the site, judging from how many of these social-behavior-dissection questions get posted.

Also, I think that when the language starts to turn too demonizing, or prejudiced, that it creates a hostile environment to the AS people, who are easily put off or confused by that kind of thing.

In this specific case, the point of this thread is to understand the strategic and behavioral purposes -- to make sense of the behavior in question. To start making it out to be an issue of massive superiority complexes and crybabies interferes with the kind of algorithmic and systematic explanations that the AS person needs when they look for explanations for certain behaviors. We literally need to process the steps : A leads to B, B needs C and C causes D. Answers like "they're as*holes and crybabies" aren't really mappable onto a rational explanation.

That makes sense, thank you. Those comments were originally directed towards NTs which I don't think is right either.

If the purpose of this thread is to dissect NT behavior, then I approve. It doesn't look that way from here due to the hurling of insults that immediately insued. I would like to participate in a thread designed to dissect behavior, it would help me learn why people act the way they do (which I usually don't get) but too many people take the opportunity to put others down which makes me shy away from participating in said thread.

I would tend to disagree with your assessment of this particular thread, though, because the OP was one of the first to start throwing insults at NT's. In fact, the OP is who Fnord quoted in his post that you took offense to. In my opinion we do need more of such threads as you mention where we dissect behavior in a non-offensive manner.

I'm trying to not be so hypervigilant. Needless to say, I misinterpret a lot of things. My social development is very uneven.

Yes, I think you are more accurate in reading the thread. I tend to interpret things through my own little window and then misinterpret people. I viewed the thread through what I thought it should be, perhaps.

Thanks for pointing that out. I'm trying to be a little more insightful in verbal exchanges.

Well then maybe we should just make the thread what it should be
I didn't read the whole thing, what was your take on why some people behave the way the OP mentions?

I think it's strategic behavior. The person who gets to define and frame the other person's image in the group is the one who dominates. Like in politics, if you can define your opponent (to your advantage) then you dominate him. So when people become verbally aggressive with each other's images, I think of it as political behavior. Trying to establish dominance over the other person.

But then again, maybe I am reading too much into it. The whole activity of engaging with other people on an individual level is not really appealing to me so maybe I am projecting too much motivation onto verbal play. I tend to avoid cross-talk where unnecessary. It actually doesn't bother me if someone dominates me or directs the thread or conversation, so long as the domination is benign. I just don't like negativity because that gets in the way of thinking. So I view interpersonal behavior that is negative as being some kind of issue when maybe it is not.

Gotta go ... I told my husband I would smoke some steelhead in my new stovetop smoking device... I have to occasionally do something to justify my staying home!

Hm interesting. Well you have a much clearer interpretation of the behavior than I do.
If I had to guess.. I would just say that its insecurity. People who are insecure sometimes insult others to elevate themselves and of course their insecurity comes to the fore when they are insulted in turn and they get defensive. If its some kind of struggle for dominance .. I would (and do) have absolutely no clue. I don't play such games and, until recently, didn't even know they existed!

I like to read what you say, ephemerella, because it is often very different then what I would think. Often when I read what you say my internal response is "Whoa, people do that?? I had no idea!! !"

I'm logging off now too. Have a nice evening or night or whatever!