Did someone tell you or did you discover AS yourself?

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I had never heard of AS until about a year and a half ago. I was familiar with Autism already. No one has ever told me that I might have it, or that they agree with my opinion.

The first diagnosed person I've ever met with AS was a customer at the strip club that I worked at. He is still a regular customer there, and is very popular with some of the staff and probably, the hottest dancer that is there. She is Vietnamese and looks like a supermodel. Her best friend got mad about something he said off the cuff, and started cussing about it in the dressing room. She exclaimed that he was "Autistic or something" and one of the other dancers said, "He might have Aspergers". My ears immediately perked up, and I asked, "What is that?". She gave me some tidbits, and I started doing research.

I have been DX'd with Bipolar I and Bipolar II disorders by two different doctors without undergoing any real evaluations or testing. I am not Bipolar at all. I have in each case been put on anti psychotic, anti depressant cocktails. I, for sure have Clinical Depression, there is absolutely no doubt about that. I am also Gifted. There are many parts of human interaction that I did not even know existed, until I started gaining an interest in an AS diagnosis. I might be a rarely known about case of environmental causes of AS symptoms. I have uniquely overcome some of my issues that I relate to AS, mainly, eye contact, which is only a problem sometimes.

I am 26, and slow to develop socially, but I am making progress. I sometimes appear totally 'normal', but without a doubt, I have mental and/or behavioural health issues. I have no close friends at all, no lasting relationships under my belt, and have no idea how I slipped through the cracks for so long. Looking back on only ten years ago, today, I think that someone would have been more aware that there was an issue with me, like the one I've got. Granted, I did get in trouble a few times in school for being cold to people, presumably starting ''drama'' or social altercations, just for speaking my mind. I could blend in with popular kids, smart kids, weird kids, boys, and girls, but I never really got close. I was class president in the eighth grade, my speech writing skills were incredible. I also kicked a teacher in the back of the leg, that same year. I cannot play team sports, end of story.

My (now ex) wife read Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-time. She then made me read it as she recognised elements of me in the central character. We then stumbled across a documentary about a school for Autistic kids which got me seeing more and more of their behaviour in me. Did some research online, tried taking some of the online AQ tests and was sufficiently 'worried' (I use the word 'worried' as, at the time, it was a massive shock to the system - my only knowledge of Autism came from the film Rain Man) that I went to see my GP, who referred me to see a psychologist.

I kept researching as while I definitely had some autistic traits, I didn't seem to exhibit others. Then I came across Asperger Syndrome and that seemed to fit me perfectly. Before that I'd never even heard of it.

After waiting 18 months to see the NHS psychologist (and then being told that it would be at least another year before even an initial assessment) I snapped and opted to go to a private psychologist who diagnosed me with AS (the NHS psychologist did eventually see me and confirmed the diagnosis...even if he was somewhat 'backwards' in his understanding and knowledge of Autism).

Up until this chain of events, Autism had never been mentioned (I was merely 'shy') but, with the benefit of hindsight I can now see the same behaviour in both my father and grandmother (on my father's side). Sadly they're dead so I'll never know if they were AS too.

How old are you Neil? If you don't mind me asking.

Not at all: 34

Did you get married and divorced. What age was you when you got married? If you don't mind me asking.

Ask anything you like...

I met my (now ex) wife at the end of 1999 when I was 25. We lived together for about four years then decided to get married so that we had something 'legal'. She then read 'the book' and we started down the wonderful 'AS path'. I was diagnosed in May 2006 and she then had an affair for three months - walking out on me in the August. The first I knew about any of this was when I came home form work and found half the house missing.

I won't go into the details but we were divorced the following January. Even now I don't know why she left - could be that she realised that I'd never be anything than what I was, could be that she wanted kids and that I would never be able to tolerate them due to my sensory issues. I dunno.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It happens and there's nothing you can do about it, so you've just got to pick yourself up and get on with it.

Besides which, if I hadn't, probably I wouldn't be here.

I admire your positive attitude.

What's the alternative? Sit in the corner and mope? Nah

Fine to be down and 'wallow' for a while but, long term, you've got to keep going - or the world's beaten you

I discovered it myself. I'd always had a... I don't know, an affinity with autisic people I'd seen on TV; I knew sort of where they were coming from with regard to the social issues and the obsessive interests, but as the programmes at the time all seemed to focus on severely affected little children, there wasn't that much detail of what else made up the condition, other than the isolation thing and behavioural problems.

My affinity with autism was similar to the one I felt with deaf people - I'll often watch See Hear (programme for the deaf in the UK). I think it might have been the communication issues and the isolation that deafness can produce which pinged my radar. However, I'm not deaf (I have sensitive hearing) so, in a similar vein (or so I thought) I didn't really push the connection I felt with autism, beyond this vague feeling. I would watch and tape any programmes about ASD though, due to the interest I had.

It was one of these programmes that I taped in the middle of the night that left me stunned. It was specifically about Aspergers and it went into some detail about how it manifests in older children and teenagers. It highlighted some of the sensory issues which I'd not heard being related to ASD before - there is my hearing, but also I have issues with food (taste and texture). Coupled with the social difficulties that were described, along with the other satellite symptoms, it was a jaw-dropping moment of realisation. I wasn't just a couple of steps towards that side of the distribution, but I was, more than likely, firmly on the spectrum.

Lots of research followed, with on-line questionaires confirming my growing certainty. The more I found out, the more it fit. The books and statements I read rang true to me like nothing else ever has in my life.

Coming here is like the culmination of those four years of self-discovery. The people here, their experiences, their testaments are like hearing my own voice spoken by a thousand people. I am so glad I found this place.

I am seriously contemplating telling my mum and sister about my AS this weekend. I have told a few people before, but no one in my family as yet. It's a massive step and I don't want to screw it up or make them feel guilty or weird or for them to feel bad for me - finding out I have AS is the single greatest thing that's happened to me. I hope I will be able to explain it well enough so they'll understand me the way this discovery has allowed me to understand myself.

I discovered it by accident (or maybe it was fate controlled by synchronicity through another
dimension !) at the age of 46 via an internet link to Einstein.

I was told by an online friend. We used to talk about our problems and he suggested that I may have aspergers.

I was told by three different friends over a span of 2 years. None of them know each other, they all just knew me, and would randomly tell me that I seem or probably am autistic or aspie, or they'd ask me if I was.

And two of these people have been diagnosed with AS, while another was supposedly misdiagnosed at one point, but does have an autistic brother and has ADHD.

Shink told my parents and then my parents told me.

It was a chance remark at work. About 6 years ago we had a young man working in our office who just rubbed everyone up the wrong way. He spoke loudly, had very garbled speech, didn't make eye contact, was obsessive about people ignoring him or whispering about him behind his back, he just came accross as rather immature. One day one of my colleagues was moaning about him and wondered "Has he got Aspergers or something?" I could see alot of me in this bloke, which I didn't like, and this remark made me go and find out about this Aspergers thing. Looking at the list of symptoms or indications or whatever, I seemed to tick alot of boxes. It also answered a helluva lot of questions about why I seemed to rub people up the wrong way alot of the time.

I still don't know if I have it for sure. I don't really want to have a diagnosis, just knowing about it has helped me start to develop strategies to be more 'normal'.