Do you appear normal to the rest of the world?

Post Reply New Topic

When I was a kid, definitely not! From age 15 onward, probably yes.

well, i thought i did. but of late i realise i do not and never have! i look totally WEIRD on digicam stuff i am doing to see how i come across. i cannot keep still and i fidget and i stop in the middle of sentences because i am distracted by pictures in my brain. then i start up again. i makle really strange faces that are quite static and not at all smooth as most peoples' facial expressions are. it has shocked me.

No

I dress funny (fashion? - wots that?) and always have bare feet (unless you're an official bossy boots in which case i wear shoes (in the form of toerings), 3 of em ) and a hat - which seems to bother people - especially in the wintertime

Strangers don't expect a 'typical' reply when they speak to me though...

the world doesnt care..people may but thet arnt the world

I think my colleagues have started to suspect that I'm somehow abnormal... but as far as I know my general appearance and manner when walking down the street is pretty standard.

I try to act normal around people, but they always seem to figure out something is "different" about me.

If I havent talked to the person and they just saw me walking then they will probably think I'm NT but they would probably think I have something wrong with my legs... If I'm talking to them then it depends on what they are asking, what their accent sounds like and what mood I'm in really.

Like IdahoRose, however, if I am spending a long time with someone they eventually notice something different about me.

can you be my pastor?

I go through whole phases lasting months and years.

Affective social presentation: If my lifestyle supports interacting with people, etc. I seem NT to most people because I do things every day that focus me on it external interaction skills. If I don't maintain that external behavior structure, I go to seed, devolving into an unkempt AS. Right now, this year, I'm shut-in, obsessed with a few things I do in my private life. And writing day in and day out, developing language skills. I more or less look like a shut in and my social presentation has devolved. It would take me a few weeks to get geared up to present an external face to the world again.

Verbal social expression: I have been writing day in and day out for over 9 months now, with a few weeks off here and there. I was almost inarticulate and incoherent (outside of writing technical material) when I started. I couldn't write or talk about social, political or personal things at all, before this year. So verbally, before this year, I didn't appear NT when I tried to write or talk about anything non-technical or non-activity specific. I never knew how to talk about anything non-technical before, really. Now, if I watch my personal behavior more to be more nice and less abrasive, I could pass as NT when discussing personal issues, politics, social things and chatting about the behavior of public personalities in the news.

Where's the parrot?

i do not seem normal to people in the street.
i know this because i have been told by people i am with, and also because of the change in demeanor of people i have to talk to.

i am ok looking, and so people do not notice any oddity in appearance.
but my behavior makes people wonder what is going through my mind.
i will use the example of "going to the supermarket".

i park my car in the underground carpark and walk to the elevators.
if there are people there, i wait back so no one talks to me and i look at the floor.
when the doors open, i enter the lift and stand right at the front with my face to the door.
i really do not want anyone to talk to me.

then the lift opens and i burst out and walk in a straight line to the entry of the supermarket.
if anything gets in my way, i will stop walking and look at the ground until the obstacle has moved, and then i proceed in my straight line.
this makes people who are in the way of my walking line think i am unfriendly to them and also strange in that i would not just walk around them.
i wait until they get out of my way, and then continue to walk even if there is clear passage around them.
i am working on that.

i never directly look at anyone, but i note them in my peripheral vision which is very good.
i can see well from the "corners of my eyes". sometimes i pay more attention to what is in my periphery than what is in my direct focus.
especially when i am in supermarkets where collisions with people occur easily.

so, once inside the supermarket, i still use the "straight line" approach.
i know what i want to buy, and i have learned where it is, and i know the path i must take to collect the goods.
but the path i mentally follow is a path around unmovable obstacles (like the shelves) to the goods.
i do not account for variables which are people in the way.
i have trouble with executive functioning, and i must follow a predefined course.

so i will stop dead in front of a woman with a pram talking to another woman with a pram if they are in my direct path.

they seem to get worried and they part their prams and i walk on through without looking at them (to their relief i suspect as they have no idea what to expect from me).

i sometimes notice things in the shop that are entirely trivial to other people, and all they see is me staring for a while at a smudge on the ground.
the smudge to me is evidence of someone slipping over and i look for elbow marks etc on the shiny floor to see how the fall may have transpired. i am usually amused as i look at things like that, and i know that others may see me as "in my own world" and mentally handicapped, but i forget to think about what i appear like when i am there in a subjective sense.

at the checkout, if i am processed by a human, i look at some object on the counter and ignore all the cashiers utterances and say only "thanks" when it is over.

if i serve myself at the self scan checkout (preferable) then i may answer back to the computers voice.

the other day the machine would not accept a $50 that i inserted. there were shoppers waiting behind me all impatient and ready to abuse any person they thought was "fumbling".

i pressed "finish and pay", and it wanted $38 and i inserted $50.

machine: please insert cash or select other payment method..........
me: (the $50 pops back out)
machine: please insert cash or select other payment method..........
me: (reinserts the $50 that pops back out again)
machine: please insert cash or select other payment method..........
me: yes yes yes you b***h! just take the money! ($50 rejected again)
machine: please insert cash or select other payment method..........
me:oh for christ's sake!! (i had no other notes on me)
machine: please insert cash or select other payment method..........

man behind: come on ya bloody clod!! we got kids to get to cricket practice.
me: f*ck off ape!! !
man: are you serious mate? talking to me like that?

i summoned the store girl who exchanged my $50 for another one and it worked.
the machine shut up it's harping and thanked me for "shopping at woolworths" and the man seemed to forget it because i did not encounter him again but i know he had a basally low opinion of me.

i do not know what other shoppers thought but i am sure i would not have been on their list of "people to meet".

i know it sounds severe what my reaction to him was, but i was sliding toward a meltdown because i had just waited for so many people who got in my way, and now i had a crush of NT's on my back hollering their displeasure at me who was impeded by faulty technology.
i saw him as an ape that bashes his stick on the ground at the slightest impediment to his procedure for whatever reason.

i am always glad to be back home after a trip out, because my animals do not have any idea what to expect behaviour wise from a human, and so they do not see me as
damaged and "nuisencical" (coinage) like the "intelligent" monkeys that swing through the social vines of public places like supermarkets etc.

Yes but there have been times people have suspected...not that they'd know it was related to aspergers just clumsiness. I'm not sure what you mean with your question, but I've had people talk to me like any normal person.

In fact the very few people I told about my ASD didn't believe me until they got to know me much better..that is doctors. But in public, I've never had the gawks or odd stares...at that I know of......

I've even tried pretending coming off NT by trying to be social..not an easy thing to pull off. In fact it hardly seems to work......

Last edited by MissConstrue on 14 Dec 2008, 8:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't believe your reaction to him was severe, it was him that snapped at you, if he didn't like it he could have went to another line. I hate ignorant people like that.

but those people fill up the whole world.

he had a beer belly and he had shorts on that were baggy and he had hairy legs.
he had a crew cut (obviously to hide his natural balding) and he was wearing just a singlet on his smelly top.
he looked so average and normal like a 40 year old NT with kids and a wife and a 4wd looks.
i think he had his "gaggle" in tow.

he saw me as someone who is completely different (page boy hair style and non sporting clothes and obviously single and also strange and timid in my behaviour), and so his first emotion to me was one of animosity.

if i had been another generic "dad" with kids and a 4wd, then he may have laughed and came to help me (futilely but that is not the point).

there is something about the things that NT's appreciate that is totally lost with me, and they see me as a lame gene that is ripe for attacking with malice devoid of normal guilt.

they think i hate them because i do not warm to them, so they really dislike me.

great.

i do not hate them. i just do not understand them and smile like they want.

i am glad they do not want to come to my place though

Sounds like you did all the right things.

IMO the guy was incredulous because he was surprised you would speak up so aggressively. But he was glad that the line got moving because he had to get his kids somewhere.

For ME, have NO idea. People seem to almost sense that I don't cuss, am not agressive, am very shy, etc.... After being at a place for a while, it seems EVERYONE knows my name! That said, I can find out a decade later that they had some opinion about me, even if very wrong, that they never voiced to ME.

People don't seem to see/hear me half the time, and sometimes seem to be driven to head right towards me. If I stand anywhere in a practically vacant store, I still often have to move, because otherwise someone is BOUND to hit me.

Anyway, I don't think anything is really THAT odd about me. I tend to speak well. My appearance is conservative. I may walk a LITTLE funny. My posture is a LITTLE odd. I avoid most slang and cussing. I don't talk too much, don't discuss sports(though I let those that DO, RAMBLE). I try to keep to customs. I probably SEEM to look people in the eyes.