AS Get progressively worse?

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I just had a scary thought - is my AS getting worse?

I would hate to get more and more dysfunctional until I'm completely removed from society. I already have no friends and it's beginning to affect my job/career a little...?

I remember watching part of a documentary on TV about a girl who had a psychological disorder and remember them saying 'Clare was a bright, intelligent, attractive girl in her youth... find out her story blah blah' and then showed a clip of her now when she was overweight and dependant on others for almost everything.

Meaning she used to be able to look after herself but because her disorder steadily got worse (from neglect maybe?) she was now completely disfunctional?

I read somewhere that brain damage can cause AS, but does AS cause brain damage?

I thought Aspergers was genetic, which would mean we're simply wired differently, so our level of AS should remain constant throughout our life. But maybe if we/I neglect it or let it create other associated disorders like Social Anxiety or Depression then my life might get steadily worse?

Feelin' a bit low right now...

Hope you're all well and get through xmas ok

I doubt it would actually get worse, you would just slowly forget more and more how to act in social situations. You would forget what to say, when to make the right facial expressions etc, all that could be learned again though with practice.

AS is only a barrier if you let it, the thing is to have support and not fall "inward" into your mind. Keep in contact with others and don't isolate yourself, if you find yourself isolating yourself go in the opposite direction to maintain contacts, etc.

I think I do let myself go 'inwards' a lot - probably just because I still don't fully understand Aspergers at all, so this idea of me being different/dysfunctional is getting me down and I'm becoming a 'self fullfilling prophecy'...

I think I need some help from a AS specialist/therapist.

my cognative disorder is making eveything in my life go downhill

Asperger's is a developmental disorder, which means your brain has developed abnormally (I think). So, theoretically, as you continue to develop and learn more about the social world, you should actually improve and find new ways of coping. However, if there are a lot of stressors in your life, this may not happen. I didn't really start to improve until fairly recently, because the conditions weren't right. And I did go downhill for a while when my comorbids were more severe. Perhaps lately you've just been in an environment that is too conducive to stress?

RichardBenson what sort of cognitive disorder do you have? If you don't mind me asking...

Thanks,

Oh Animal I think you're right...

About 12months ago I started a new job which is quite stressful, for me at least; it's not a difficult job but it requires a lot of social interaction (which I'm not good at) and a lot of multi-tasking (which I'm also not good at) and it often seems to frazzle my brains.

It's like I notice too much stuff all at the same time, while most people just walk past it blissfully unaware. Sometimes I find myself getting almost bad tempered, especially towards the end of my shift (which is only 8hrs), just because people aren't getting on with the things I can see.

There's a few promotions going at the moment, and have been in the past, and my bosses can't understand why I don't apply for them as I work so hard - they see me using initiative and being self-motivated which in reality is me strugglng to cope with all this stuff/tasks I can see need sorting out. I seem to run around like a headless chicken most of the time.

Think I'll try and see a therapist as I need to get a handle on things.

You sound pretty sorted though animal - how did you cope? What was the turning point when it began to get easier/better?

Thanks

Well, I didn't cope for a while. I've been on and off anti-depressants since I was 15. Last year I took a job at a petrol station, which was possibly the worst decision I've ever made, because I basically had a massive mental breakdown and ended up in a psych ward. Twice. Then I was diagnosed with AS.

I think there are three reasons why I'm doing well now though:
1) I'm on a lot of mood-stabilizing, tranquilizing drugs. The sort of drugs that, while they are not treatments for Asperger's, have been useful in helping the anxiety levels of many people with AS (including me).
2) I know myself better. Now that I know about AS, I can look at how other aspies cope with the various difficulties of life, and apply those strategies to my own life. Usually, it works. Also, being in hospital has really forced me to think about my abilities and limitations - I now know better what I am good at, what I struggle in, and what I need to avoid if possible.
3) I'm in a job that I enjoy, in a supportive environment. I kind of fell into a job at a library, and while it has more social interaction than I would really like (I spend a lot of my time off just sleeping and staring into space trying to recover), the actual work is something I enjoy and am good at. Also, my colleagues appreciate my talents and quirky way of thinking, and understand that I'm not good at things like socializing. And my job gives my week a purpose and predictability that I need to function. Before, when I was at university, I didn't have that routine and predictability - there was too much time dedicated to independant study - so I struggled with that. I hope to go back to university one day, though.

I think, basically, I've just been lucky these last few months. Obviously, the mental illness wasn't lucky, but I seem to have recovered remarkably quickly. A lot of that is probably due to my job. It's where I spend a lot of my time, so it needs to be appropriate for me. The job at the petrol station wasn't appropriate - lots of multitasking, lots of visual busyness, flourescent lights, lots of people... it overloaded my brain, because, like you, I notice every detail, and when there are too many details, I can't process them fast enough and I get swamped in all that information. But a library, while it has interaction in it, is not so focussed on customer service (I don't work in a public library - I never want to work in a public library), I don't have to think about many things at once, there is not a lot of visual busyness, and I have plenty of time to work on solitary tasks such as cataloguing, which allow me the down time to process all that information I picked up on when I was interacting with people.

So, in short, the job has helped me a lot. I think having the right job is important, because it's something you spend a lot of time and energy on, so it needs to be something that you enjoy, or at least tolerate, without making you so tired that you can't do anything else when you get home.

Oh man, that sounds just like me, except I'm still in the before stage of the mental breakdown...

It's strange that you say a lot of your time at home is spent sleeping and staring into space as that's what I do, I often thought people would think I'm weird if they saw how I spent my days off; sometimes just staring for upto an hour, etc.

I'm beginning to think I need a 'base' in my life i.e. I need a space where I can have the creature comforts and nothing else going on, where I can be by myself and do nothing for X amount of time each day, if I don't get that that's when things start to overload.

I would like to travel and see the world though, I really want to work abroad in tourism or at least give it a go, but I'm finding it difficult because I need that stability - I briefly did some travelling when I was 21 but found it fairly terrifying because of the unfamiliarity e.g. living in hostels, the language barrier, etc. But maybe I can find a way around it.

Also, I like working with the public (except when they complain or are not very polite) but am beginning to think this is because of my AS - working with the public is some sort of substitute for a social life & friends??

I think, like you I need to get a handle on my Aspergers and then re-think my life/career/limitations as that's what's getting me depressed - I can't achieve my already set ambitions with AS so need to rethink.

Thanks again for the advice - are you based in the UK btw?

Cheers,

Yeah, you definitely need a base. It took me a little while to accept that I just need time to spend doing nothing, that doing nothing is not a waste of time for me. Unfortunately, sometimes I need to spend so much time recuperating that I don't have time to actually clean, cook, etc. But I moved back in with my parents after the crash, so I have it easy at the moment... the next step is getting fully independant.

I would also like to travel. I have done a little bit, and yes, it was hard. But I think if I can plan it properly, and only go for a short time, I could do it. But getting my independance back comes first.

I'm based in Australia.

Apparently we're good at creating systems and planning things meticulously (although I struggle when my plans go wrong), so maybe that's what I'll do.

I keep thinking about going to university as a mature student (I'm 30 now), which my Dad thinks is a bad idea i.e. I'd be better just getting on with it and doing it for real/in the real world, etc. But maybe university would be a good way of planning my travels and learning those systems, so that when I do go abroad I know what to expect.

Anyway, I'd better go to bed.

Sounds cheesy but really appreciate the help,

Struth mate

I experience cycles where I have established patterns and systems that work... but life changes, and they start to fall apart. I fall apart. I get depressed and frustrated. Then I start to break things down, realign and develop new methods of dealing with things and begin another plateau, as it were. As I understand the pattern, then each time becomes less debilitating - although there are extremely low times, don't get me wrong. I think how we choose to face things affects our lives greatly.


M.

That sounds a lot like me Makura,

Especially at work, I create systems and priorities a lot, which is fine when things go to plan, but when the boss puts you in charge of doing a new job it all goes a bit awry.

I also find I make almost obsessive notes about everything, because if I don't I forget. Then I go back to the notes afterwards and try and make sense of them.

It seems like I have to be preprepared for everything these days, which kind of takes the fun out of it...

I felt mine was getting worse in my teens but it was the depression and the anxiety making it seem that way and maybe the hormones. When I am very content and everything is going my way, I barely have it. I only have my aspie moments. It was worse when my bf walked into my life and once I got used to him having him around, it got less. He just lets me do what I want and not expect much from me and asks me when we want to go grocery shopping since I get upset every time he has to do something unexpectedly because I have to take him. Lot of times he takes buses except for grocery shopping. I guess my AS goes up and down. I think it stays the same level but things have to trigger the symptoms. Bring in more people, I will have more. Do small talk, I will have more. If I feel uncomfortable, lack of eye contact. More stimming when nervous. etc.