Would you attempt to talk someone out of committing suicide?

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Joined: 28 Jul 2007
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10 Jun 2010, 7:39 pm

In my experience, if someone is going to commit suicide they will not tell anyone about it.

I had a friend who used to talk about it all the time, she never attempted it, it was just for attention.

My ex attempted suicide on a number of occasions, usually if he didn't get his own way, and he always made sure he had someone around to witness his attempt, and to save him. THIS IS MENTAL ABUSE. I kind of regret saving him because he hurt myself and his family so much. And he really never had any intention of doing it, he was just having a tantrum.

I had another friend who DID do it, and nobody knew he had any intention. He just did it. These are the ones to worry about.

opal
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11 Jun 2010, 3:57 am

It depends: if they were someone I knew and cared about then yes - if it was obvious they were going through a short crisis that they just needed someone to be there (.I have thought of suicide a few times myself, but I don't think I could ever actually bring myself to do it,) . Some people, though, are just attention seekers. They may need help, but they need to seek it & take it when it is offered. Threatening suicide is not the way to do it.

spiders wrote:

My ex attempted suicide on a number of occasions, usually if he didn't get his own way, and he always made sure he had someone around to witness his attempt, and to save him. THIS IS MENTAL ABUSE. I kind of regret saving him because he hurt myself and his family so much. And he really never had any intention of doing it, he was just having a tantrum.

My mother- in law is the same. My husband and I argued a lot about it in the past. She went for professional treatment, but would not make any changes to her life, would go off her meds, overdose on her meds, lie in bed all day . We would tell her common sense things to help and she would ignore us.. She mentally, verbally and physically abused her husband, though she was dependant on him for everything. When he got Alziemers, instead of stepping up to look after him sent him to walk along a highway to the bottleshop (on several occaisions) to get her grog so she could drink herself into oblivion.

She "attempted" suicide several times , but her husband was always there to save her. We believe the stress may have had something to do with him getting dementia.
She is now in a nursing home, as she can't or won't look after herself. He is in a psychiatric unit. I am prepared to visit him, though he no longer recognises me, but not her. such people are evil.

spiders
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11 Jun 2010, 4:22 am

opal wrote:

Sounds very similar to what I experienced. To me it's like they've given up on life but don't want to take responsibility for it, and they blame everyone close to them.

opal wrote:

We believe the stress may have had something to do with him getting dementia.

I still think all the stress caused by my ex sent his mother to an early grave. I got down to 46 kilos from all the stress (underweight for my 170cm height).

I feel very sorry for your father-in-law.

Moog
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11 Jun 2010, 5:31 am

Sure. I've done it a few times. I probably didn't help, heh.

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mechanicalgirl39
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11 Jun 2010, 1:11 pm

Kirska wrote:

-JR wrote:

"Coward's way out" doesn't seem to make sense to me. Takes a lot to push someone to that point, and then to actually go through with such a permanent action...

It is the coward's way out because it is the easy answer to solve your own problem and makes everyone else's worse.

It takes a lot more courage and determination to decide "I CAN make it through this and I WILL make it through this." And thus, save friends and family and lot of heartache. I don't care how bad your problems are, the problems you'll bring upon your friends and family with your death will be worse.

I can understand situations where, for example, someone's entire family dies in an accident and they're the only one left. I would not commit suicide even in that situation, but, I don't feel I'm really in a place to judge them.

But to commit suicide because a girl dumped you or your parents yelled at you? Please. Stop being an emo p***y.

Sorry if I'm offending someone, but I've said before on these boards I have little patience for it, having seen my brother go through 2 best friends committing suicide, one of which was in his 20's and IMO had no reason to. RIP... but geez.

Both of those best friends have made contact with my family after their death, one to my dad and one to my brother and sister. So I don't believe you're able to cross over correctly after death, at least not immediately. Perhaps you're filled with guilt.

I have little tolerance for this view.

Calling suicide selfish is like calling someone selfish for thrashing about when they are in extreme physical pain and yelling things like 'get me some morphine'. Their mind is broken and needs to be healed. YOU might not know what they're going through - that doesn't mean their pain is nothing and they should just suck it up.

Yes, I've talked someone out of a suicide and would do it again. Even if they were just looking for attention and didn't really mean to do it...that is a sign they need help. Anyone who wants attention that badly has something wrong with them and needs help.

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11 Jun 2010, 1:17 pm

Being the kind and helpful person that I am, I'd do so, but with tender loving care.

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mechanicalgirl39
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11 Jun 2010, 2:36 pm

ephemerella wrote:

There is something broken in the people who want to kill themselves, some inability to put their lives in perspective or inability to see that it is in facing personal problems and solving them, that ordinary people become great people. I view the AS the same way -- I have to face up to it, understand it and try to grow into it.

You learn the personal dimension of facing up to yourself when you join the military and do dangerous things to save people or serve some great cause. I think some people who never sacrificed for others, never learn this. So it is the people who have put little of themselves on the line for others, who seem to be most willing to give up their own lives so cheaply.

I agree with the first part. That these people need help to regain a rational perspective instead of being overwhelmed.

But I can't agree with the second part. I won't go into detail but I've seen very caring and giving people who did a lot for others, reduced to thinking about suicide, not because they actually wanted to die, but because they were under so much stress and had no one to help them that in moments of sheer pain and impulse, suicide seemed like a form of anesthesia.

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Ichinin
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11 Jun 2010, 3:46 pm

No, and the reason is that the key word is a generic definition of "him".

Now, "Her" or "Friend" is another deal...

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11 Jun 2010, 7:02 pm

I don't know what I'll do. I don't know anybody who blab about killing themselves. I've read people's journals (they showed to me) entries about suicide attempts but they chickened out. I generally do not have a problem with people committing suicide. I have a great uncle who killed himself after discovering he got a terminal illness, and would suffer for many months before he die. Everybody I know was totally supportive of his decision.

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12 Jun 2010, 2:48 am

It depends on whether I thought they had a good reason or not. In some cases I might even consider helping them.

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12 Jun 2010, 8:54 am

I've talked my dad out of it twice - but I don't know if it'll stick in the long run. I doubt it.

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12 Jun 2010, 9:06 am

If it was someone whom I loved or cared about, yes I would.

If it was a comlete stranger, I don't know what I'd do - fortunately I've never been faced with a situation in which I had to make that decision.

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