Who has an Aspie girl that can talk to me???

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ster - Where I got upset is that you went on the defensive as soon as I asked a question on why the other woman's post was sad. I truly didn't understand it. To me, that's what it looked like. I felt attacked just simply for wanting clarification.

By you going on the defensive, I did as well. Now I'm a bit more relaxed, but still feel like you're defensive. I tried to point out some very simple things you can do so you don't have to continue to explain yourself. Keep changing things up. I intentionally change up my routines just a little bit, for myself and my kids.

Your other thread talks about generalization. A good way to teach generalization to your children and your husband, is to continue to change things up a little bit. Not a whole lot. This will help them generalize coping skills. So you DON'T have to keep explaining yourself. Doing it every so often is going to really disrupt their routine, but if you work it into the routine itself, it'll make it much easier. Then when the routine is disrupted by external causes, they will cope much more easily.

i'm sorry if my post came off as being defensive. i did not mean that in the least. i'm having a difficult time coping lately- that's all, really. being slightly ADD myself, the idea of having to have so much control over what happens in my life is frustrating. honestly, i think it's a personality issue for myself. if left to my own devices, i'd like to get up whenever i wanted to & do whatever i wish to do at that moment- this is why i realize it's very important for me to go on a yearly vacation without the family. i can do as i please without having to justify anything to anyone.
as far as teaching generalization goes, i hear what you're saying. our lives are not so regimented that everything takes place at a certain time or in a certain order. having said that, the instances in which my aspies struggle become a matter of wills. sometimes i'm willing to put up with the whining/ arguing/ anxiety that is put forth in order for me to do something out of the ordinary. these days, however, i'm going through a period of time when part of me would just rather let them have their way so at least there will be peace. but the other part of me just wishes that they could learn to accept changes without so much whining/arguing/anxiety.....

ster...{{{Hugs}}}

It's not easy being me, but I know it's not easy being around me some days either.

Aspie or NT, I think everyone has the desire to relax, and be who they are, how they are...without giving it any thought...or worrying about the cause and effect we may have on others..and without someone else asking "why?" we do the things that we do.

Somedays all we want is "peace". Somedays that can be tough to find.

ImMelody...I think coping with being spontaneous & changes in routine sometimes depends on the Aspie, some can learn to cope with it and are better for it , and some really don't cope too well with it... ever... and that can create more stress (on both sides) instead of fixing anything...I'm one of the later myself... although in 41 years I've really tried...I can't honestly say I've made alot of progress in these areas.

beenthere- thanks for the support. it means alot. i am hopeful that someday they'll be able to cope better. hubby & son cope better than they used to- son still has a ways to go....daughter seems to be at the very beginning of it all....

Self-diagnosed 44 year old Asperger's woman here.

I love to read, am very fond of cats, especially tabbies, Siamese and Calicos and am interested in runner Roger Bannister and his accomplishments in sports and in his medical career.