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Is there anyone who has been offended by an "expert" or someone whose opinion seemed not only off-base but somewhat insulting?

Mine was from a neuroscience student, who said that my 3 year old child could not possibly be on the spectrum, because he said "hi" to her, 3 separate times (the conversation did not progress beyond that point, most likely because my son doesn't answer conversational questions unless they are "yes" or "no" questions, and asked 2 or 3 times).

She did tell my cousin she thought he was developmentally delayed "probably because he wasn't stimulated enough, or read to enough as a baby" (if she only knew)

Her senior thesis was on pain perception in autistic children.

There are some people that really make you feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall.

My mother was told that the real reason that I was delayed was because I was neglected and that 'it's just what happens' to kids with single mothers. Not that anyone was concerned enough to call social services...those idiots. Another proffessional told her that she was neurotic or psychotic and a 'drama queen' (because she had something wrong with her kidneys at the time so she couldn't support me in my first days at school). Again, social services were not called so it couldn't have been that much of a concern. Sometimes you'd wonder if they were merely having a laugh at your expense.

Professionals seem to make their diagnoses based on their particular realm of study.

I once "dated" a woman who was a psychologist. It was an off-and-on relationship, and we never actually "committed" to each other. One day, she found out that I had gone out with a mutual acquainance, and she stood on her balcony and screamed at me every possible aberrant behavior she could think of. I stood there and listened until she slammed her way back into her apartment, shrugged, and went home.

By the time I got there, she had filled my answering machine with even more curses, profanity, and all around nasty talk. Mostly focussing on my immaturity, bad karma, and hedonistic actions. She said I was stuck at the emotional level of a 13-year old, and that I deserved every bad thing that had ever happened to me.

Her realm of study and counselling was something along the lines of "Maladaptive Behavior in Adolescents and the Regressive Management Model" or some kind of psychobabble like that.

Advice: Never date anyone in the fields of Mental Health, Law Enforcement, or the Judicial System. No matter how well you behave, they will have you analysed down to your DNA faster than you can take a mugshot!

Yeah, I told my boss about the situation (my son's currently working his way throught he free school system evaluation process, something her son went through) and she said flat-out that the girl sounds like she doesn't like me for some reason and is using her "credentials" to justify that. So, Fnord, that is actually very in-sync with my boss' theory.

well, if the thesis was on pain perception...you have to wonder. There's always the option of '2nd opinion'

I cannot count the times that so-called 'experts' have had foot in mouth disease.

Yup, half of the professionals I have met have been on the spectrum themselves IN MY OPINION!! And with a good dollop of Oppostional Defiance Disorder too!! I have learnt NOT to expect the experts to be experts at all!

Patternist,

It often does feel like professionals are going out of their way to ignore and insult you. The thing is that these people don't usually "live" with a child on the spectrum and they're often ignorant of the big picture.

Don't let it get to you.

That said, three years of age is a bit young to be fighting for a diagnosis and the results won't be very accurate. If possible, try to sit it out for one or two more years. You'll get much more accurate and useful results - and in the meantime, your child gets a couple more years of "being normal".

pakled: Pain perception. I get it now. Heh, yeah, I would like to see some of those experiments. (On second thought, not)

gbollard: Agreed. It's not so much I'm seeking a diagnosis, it is more that I have my suspicions, and made the mistake of bringing them up in a casual family setting when I got the ubiquitous "so, how's he doing in school" questions. He did get kicked out of preschool - and she, as a friend of my extended family, offered up her opinion. (Of course, my extended family believes her, because of the pedigrees and soforth, so here I sit, now, in their eyes, blaming my lazy parenting on the "possible autism" that she insists he doesn't have, because he doesn't scream every time an airplane goes overhead but rather politely asks his grandmother to turn the ceiling fan on so he can watch it. And I am expected to be "relieved" because he doesn't "have" anything except a developmental delay caused by our lazy parenting - you know, the lazy parenting that involves going over the same Richard Scarry word book five times a day and drilling him on alphabet sounds and pronouns ad nauseum. The message is: he doesn't have any neurological differences, we just haven't tried hard enough.)

Oh, and she had the nerve to tell my cousin that "TV is not his friend". This child won't even sit through an entire episode of Blues Clues before changing the subject to daddy's car being fixed - last month.

I'm not convinced he has AS or Kanners or ADHD or any of the above, but he has traits of all of the above, and given his naturally gentle temperament I can see how he would be a conundrum to even an actual professional.

And in the US, they stress early diagnosis, for the sake of early intervention, in the form of ABA, which is something else, this "expert" touts as the end-all be-all of therapy.

NEVER date someone in the mental health professions - Hey, hey now LOL. I am a psych. I do feel bad for my poor husband, though. Poor guy. I really don't analyze that much outside of my work, at least I don't think I do.

My son's pediatrician REFUSED to refer my son for an OT evaluation (the state requires that even with private insurance). The pediatrician told me that my son was NOT on the spectrum. I explained that he was dx by three different professionals just a year prior to that appt and he also knows I am a school psych. He then proceeded to tell me that since my son was playing with a knob on the table and then walked around the room, he must be ADHD.

My son is anything but ADHD. Perhaps symptoms of ADD but not ADHD. Good grief. He met my child FIVE minutes and came up with this conclusion. He ended up writing the referral and in it stated "OT referral based on parent request because parents think son has sensory issues." The OT who evaluated my son laughed at that and told me I needed to find a new doctor. My son clearly presents as having sensory issues. He knew what I did for a living, too. If he treated me like this, how does he treat other parents who don't have a their background to fall back on? How many more children are being passed on or how many other parents are being made to feel that they are wrong in their feelings?

I don't come across as knowing it all but that medical doctor, all medical doctors really need to stick to their area of specialty. I just wanted to say, "You are not more knowledgeable in the area than me or the specialists that have evaluated and dx my son." The people who confirmed my suspicious of Autism are specialists at Columbus Children's hospital in the Autism clinic! They are specialists. How does a regular pediatrician's knowledge triumph them??

Stay away from professionals that use absolutes and don't listen to parents. Even if the professional thinks they are correct, they need to consider what the parents are saying and realize that they could be wrong. Psychology is not an exact science at all. There are just so many variables.


Oh - I loved how a intern speech therapist told me all about my son's cognitive functioning based on how he was left-handed. I have about 90 more graduate credits than her and over 8 years of practical experience in my field and she was telling me all this nonsense. She was over-simplifying how the brain works based on hand preference. She didn't know my background but was watching my son being evaluated behind a mirror at the same time I was. She was merely a graduate student in school. I didn't say anything to her because I was trying to watch how they were testing my son.

All these experiences have shown me that parents are given such WRONG information a lot of the time by people who are not even qualified to give that information. That is the biggest lesson through this process. Honestly, the person most qualified to give the autism dx are neuropsychologists, clinical psychologists and developmental pediatricians who primarily specialize in Autism. I wouldn't go to just anyone, ever. Only specialists in the field. When all is said and done, just realize that these professionals are human and some are full of pride.

The more you know, the more you realize there are a lot you don't know. When you come across a professional who acts like they know it all, most of the time it is a cover up to inadequacies and lack of knowledge whatever those may be.

WOW - this was a long post.

Our first pediatrician always ended our consultations by telling me to go home and talk to my husband and if husband had any concerns he could ring the pediatrician to discuss it. Hubby was at that stage working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and not home very often so he saw the children for maybe half an hour a day if that.

We first were suggested Heidi was autistic at 18 months. I went and saw the pediatrician and he said 'what does your husband think?' - not what did I think, but what did my husband think. I said that my husband and I thought we'd ask a professional - the pediatrician, who said nothing was wrong.

By 24months it was obvious something was up and we got Heidi assessed by the psych team at LaTrobe Uni (at 2.5yo) who diagnosed her as HFA.

I took the report (ADOS Test) back to our Pediatrician who said that Heidi certainly showed all the classic signs of autism spectrum disorder but that we shouldn't worry until she was 5 or 6 and ready to start school. I said I would like to put her into early intervention and Pediatrician said there was nothing to worry about and he was happy to discuss the matter further with my husband.

Finally I got the message that even though I was the primary carer my opinion about my children was worth nothing compared to the male in the household. So we got a new Pediatrician who spent a long time talking to myself and playing with my daughter, she agreed with the diagnosis. We got into early intervention and now I have a child who talks, does not scream in frustration all day and a happy family, hubby has even cut down the hours he works and spends more time at home now it is a more pleasant place to be