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AnotherKind
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22 Oct 2012, 2:21 pm

MrWunderbar wrote:
You can still find inner peace. Nothing about what we are stops us from finding our center. If anything it is easier for us to understand how than NTs. Society has convinced you to estrange yourself from your spirit. Find your Tao and you will find peace.

What's Tao and how could I find it? :?

I used to believe in a 'center' of all things but then I found out that this center wasn't at all as peaceful as it seemed to be.
So now I lost my peace. Maybe "peace" is similar with "Ignorance is bliss".


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Joe90
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22 Oct 2012, 3:47 pm

I am so ashamed of having AS that I have to have a mentor come with me to job interviews to explain it all for me to the employer, because if it was upto me I'd probably be going completely red and nearly crying. I can sit and talk about it maturely to my doctor or a counsellor or my mum, and I do like employers to know about it, but I just hate actually bringing my shame up myself to people who I don't really know. And yes, the employer must know because they often ask at interviews or on the job application if I have any medical or psychological conditions that may interfere with my work, and what can I say to that? ''No, I haven't'', and then suddenly having to tell them after I got the job that I have this thing, then feeling awkward if they might say, ''well we did ask you at the interview, and you said no.'' ? I mean, what's the diagnosis for? I may be able to hide my AS with friends in general, but even then most friends notice that I am at least extremely anxious, although that doesn't define an ASD but they still notice a co-morbid, and I believe that work is a bit different because the employer is paying you and if I suddenly came into difficulty what may make the employer mistake me for just not paying attention or being funny, I will then be put in an awkward situation, and why should I be put in a situation where my disability is going to get me into trouble.....

Anyway, why the hell am I explaining myself for? The short in this issue is that I feel so ashamed of having this s**t, and if anybody critically asks me why, then you can read what I wrote somewhere above, and give yourself a challenge in trying to find any positives about any of those I listed.


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22 Oct 2012, 4:18 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I am so ashamed of having AS that I have to have a mentor come with me to job interviews to explain it all for me to the employer, because if it was upto me I'd probably be going completely red and nearly crying. I can sit and talk about it maturely to my doctor or a counsellor or my mum, and I do like employers to know about it, but I just hate actually bringing my shame up myself to people who I don't really know. And yes, the employer must know because they often ask at interviews or on the job application if I have any medical or psychological conditions that may interfere with my work, and what can I say to that? ''No, I haven't'', and then suddenly having to tell them after I got the job that I have this thing, then feeling awkward if they might say, ''well we did ask you at the interview, and you said no.'' ? I mean, what's the diagnosis for? I may be able to hide my AS with friends in general, but even then most friends notice that I am at least extremely anxious, although that doesn't define an ASD but they still notice a co-morbid, and I believe that work is a bit different because the employer is paying you and if I suddenly came into difficulty what may make the employer mistake me for just not paying attention or being funny, I will then be put in an awkward situation, and why should I be put in a situation where my disability is going to get me into trouble.....

Anyway, why the hell am I explaining myself for? The short in this issue is that I feel so ashamed of having this sh**, and if anybody critically asks me why, then you can read what I wrote somewhere above, and give yourself a challenge in trying to find any positives about any of those I listed.


Yes, I concur, but that is YOU- and that list applies to you specifically. I don't think anyone can doubt that the problems you listed are very real, but no one else who's reading that post is living YOUR life, just as you are not living anyone else's life but yours.

So when someone in this thread mentions that they are proud to be autistic, or that they're comfortable with their autism, then that will be how they're looking at their ASD from their angle.
And doesn't it make you curious how anyone could be comfortable with having basically the same disorder you have? Aren't you curious about learning how they do that?

Me, I started out an extremely introverted child, absorbed in my hobbies/interests, relying on my daily routines, and prone to tantrums upon the tiniest disruption of my personal space. Throughout most of my childhood, I wouldn't even leave the neighbourhood on my own. And yet, I've grown into a man who tackles any and all problems and challenges head-on. How did I get here? Well, much of it I owe to my mother. She showed me how to flap my wings, now I'm flying on my own two.
But that's not really my point. Heck, I'm not even PROUD to be autistic. I am of the same school of thought as those above who said they couldn't be proud of something they're born with, and isn't an achievement. However, I CAN understand how one could feel proud to be autistic, or proud of anything one is 'born' with. Part of that is also being proud of the collective achievements of all those who came before, and pushed the boundaries and shattered the stereotypes and prejudices.
But one thing I can be proud of, is how I went from being that skittish child who needed his mother's hand for every step beyond the doorstep to who I am now. Understanding my autism, learning about it as I interacted with other people, and adapting whewre adaptation was needed. As Darwin said: "It is those most adaptable to change, who will survive", and having been one of the most rigid thinkers once, but with the will to survive, I figured I had to bend- before I'd end up breaking.


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Joe90
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22 Oct 2012, 4:31 pm

I'm not trying to ask anyone to put themselves in my position and I'm not telling everyone else how to think. I have had people trying to convince me to embrace my AS, and all the points I wrote above are my own personal issues what I thought some unhappy Aspies on here might be able to relate to (not all of them but some). With my life and the way I am, there doesn't seem to be a positive light, unless I change myself, but I feel I am in too much of an anxious state to be able to handle all that at the moment. Yes, call me weak but I am weak.


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CyclopsSummers
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22 Oct 2012, 4:42 pm

For what it's worth, I can relate to many points on the list, w/ regard to feeling awkward in public, feeling trapped by my own routines, or feeling like an alien when trying to have fun in a social setting.


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lonelyguy
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23 Oct 2012, 1:09 am

I can relate to almost everything that Joe said..i find it hard to understand how anyone can be proud of this condition..and let's be fair it is a condition..maybe for some they can accept it and cope with it!..but for others it can be a living hell from one day to the other,so if you ask me if i could ever be proud to have aspergers..the answer is NO! :twisted:



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23 Oct 2012, 1:48 am

AS is a difference not a disability. Self hate is a disability.



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23 Oct 2012, 7:47 am

Do you mean, if I'm happy of having it? No. It caused me a lot of problem during all my life, and it's still causing me a lot of problems.
Do you mean, if I accept the fact I have it? I'm beginning to do this. Two years ago, when my mother told me I had been diagnosed with AS as a child, I had the answer to all my behaviours and problems, but it wasn't a consolation for me. In fact, I thought at first that it was a course. But now I'm beginning to accept it. I'm not happy of it, because it causes, and will cause, me a lot of problems, but I've improved since I was a child, and I think I will improve more as I'll grow. Or at least, this happened to the adult aspies I have known. I face it without desperating, and this is the best thing I can do.


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AnotherKind
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23 Oct 2012, 11:39 am

MrWunderbar wrote:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq-FOOQ1TpE[/youtube]

This is what you get when your special interest is Astrophysics. Like he explains in the video, it does not matter what your interest is in, if you apply your unique perspective to it, you will be able to think of something worthwhile to add to it. He just does not realize yet that it was his Autism that provided that perspective and that normal people do not have the abilities he does. Accept who and what you are and you will be better than you ever thought possible.


Wow, I like this kid so much. Not because of his intelligence but he's also funny and seems very innocent and authentic. Thanks for posting it.


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Joe90
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23 Oct 2012, 11:47 am

I just think my disability is going to get me into trouble. I really can't say online how it is going to get me into trouble, due to privacy reasons, but it is starting to, and it's one of those situations that causes major concern and also very big decisions. And I come from a family where we're the type of people who always go for the wrong decision, then making us wish we had gone for the other decision. So this is why I'm not happy with having it at the moment.


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MrWunderbar
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23 Oct 2012, 12:25 pm

Your life is never as bad as it seems. Life can always start over new. I have kept a bug out bag packed since I was nine. Every time life got hard I would consider if it was time to disappear into the mountains. Life just never seemed bad enough to leave. My best friend will always tell someone who is having a rough time with life that nothing is stopping them from leaving their car at the airport and starting a new life somewhere. The feeling of being stuck where you are is an illusion. Once you realize you have choices life seems a lot lighter.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9dSYgd5Elk[/youtube]



Quinntilda
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23 Oct 2012, 7:39 pm

NO!! !



celebrei
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23 Oct 2012, 7:59 pm

MrWunderbar wrote:
All Aspies need to realize that they are not alone. There are others like them. Like us.


Misery does love company. 8)



revertigo
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23 Oct 2012, 8:51 pm

Joe, I think what you are going through might just be a stage in your life. I am not saying it is, just that i have gone through a stage of hatred for my aspergers. I overcame this eventualy and that made me strong enough to accept all of the negatives without hatred. At this stage i'm narcissistic about the positives of it.

Aspergers is like a soldier with a gun that is to powerfull for them. The soldier will probably break their shoulder with recoil, have horrible aim and want to quit because they don't think they ever will be strong enough or good enough to use it. The enemy (imagine the world and society is the enemy army) will sometimes kill the soldier if they can't use this powerfull weapon.
But then imagine the soldier became strong enough and good enough to use this weapon. They will be confident and have a gun more powerfull than the enemys. They will have harnested the power and tamed the strength of the gun that they once despised. Yeah sometimes the recoil on the shoulder will hurt but that sore shoulder is worth having something special and unique that can make them better if they try.
The powerfull gun is scary and lowers self belief, but once you master it you are stronger than the rest.



DieselMcGunner
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26 Oct 2012, 3:40 pm

No. I am proud of my achievements, not the way in which I happened to be born. It's like when people are proud of their nationality, they didn't earn that, it was chance. I am how I am, I didn't choose or earn to be this way so why would I be proud of it?



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26 Oct 2012, 4:57 pm

The only thing about me that I'm proud of is being born in April because I love the springtime.


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