Is my Mum an alcoholic?

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She drinks mainly Martini or vodka each and every night by herself from 7pm until about 10:30,
she isn't out of control or anything and it's rare wif she does fall over or laugh really loud from eing too intixicated but I don't like it, it doesn't feel right seeing my Mum getting drunk.
I feel like I need a stable parent, one that doesn't depends on alcohol and shos they are strong because my Dad isn't in my life.
She says it's her relaxing time and she would read a book and then later on listen to music but every alcoholic excuses it in some way right?
I do also think it is abit sad seeing hre like that, when she could be abit mroe exciting because she just lets everybody walk all over her and she is too nice for her wn good which obviously means being taken advantage of.
SHe doesn't brgin guys home at all, she is very determined to beo n her own whilst drinking.

I've asked her to at least get her liver checked out because she has drank for years and she is the only person I've really got in my life, and she says she isn't an alcohlic because she doesn't ddrink in the day, but I feel that she isn't being a good Mum becuase she won't even go for a check even just for my sake.

She also excuses it by saying that she doesnt like me smoking and it's just as bad but it isn't the same situation, she has to show sshe is strong for me right? and show that drink isn't the answer to siutations etc.

Please help, because I don't know what I should do or if I should just let it go?
By the way she is 43 and I'm 16

Thankyou

well as long as her personality doesn't change, lotsa alchies get violent or argumentative, and as long as her liver is ok, it doesn't sound like problem drinking. It's hard to get thru life without at least one vice or addiction (mine's tobacco). Some people smoke marijuana every night, would you prefer that? It sounds like she needs her 'me' time in the evening and she enjoys it and does no harm, so it's just the liver damage thing she need to watch.

The problem is, that with drinking 7 nights a week, she should be hungover every day, and usually hungover people are cranky or tired. I think it's good for habitual drinkers to go at least one night without a drink so they can remember what it's like to wake up without a hangover.

Yeah but she also isn't ambitious or anything, and my motivation lacks, I wish she did things that I could look up to and have more inspiration, thanks for your comment and I'll talk to my Gran about getting her liver checked out.

Maybe she just likes to drink and isn't a motivated person.

I don't know.

Having a drink of alcohol every night isn't a big deal, but drinking for three and a half hours might be. How many drinks does she have on average? I could probably down enough to kill myself in that time if I wanted, but it's equally possible to make a drink last a while. And does she drink the vodka every night, or is it mostly martinis? I can't imagine wanting to drink vodka every night outside of an addiction.

The fact that you are concerned about your mother and that you've spoken to her about it and she is unwilling to change suggests that she may be a problem drinker. Here's the link for a group called Al-Anon and Al-Ateen. I contacted my local group by phone once, and it was good just to talk to someone about my husband's drinking. They have groups for young people who are affected by a parent's drinking.

Might be worth checking them out, or getting in touch with them by phone or email.

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/index.asp

My mom has mixed drinks a couple nights a week (as we speak too), but by no means is she an alcoholic. She doesn't even get buzzed.

I've been to an AA meeting before (don't ask why I was there) and I got the answer straight from the source. The alcoholics there defined themselves. An alcoholic is someone who can't have a couple drinks. A surefire sign that she isn't an alcoholic is if she can have a few drinks and stop. Alcoholics always get drunk, one drink, and BAM they can't stop. I guess in that sense I know some borderline alcoholics my own age that have a hard time having only a couple drinks. But if it's possible that she can have just a couple, then she isn't an alcoholic. If she has trouble with not getting drunk all the time, then maybe she needs to stop before it starts.

That's an incredible simplistic statement.

If she's having more than a few every day and gets sick, she may have a problem. If she drinks in moderation and never has a hangover, she is probably OK.

My father is an alcoholic. Alcoholics need their "fix". It is a physical need. It's very annoying, because he always worry about what time he was going to be back home, to get his fix. From that point, he wouldn't go anywhere, because he would be under the influence.

A friend of mine has fibromyalgia, and will smoke just a bit of marijuana every now and then to help ease the pain of it.

The changes my father goes through when drinking are far more noticeable than the changes my friend goes through when smoking marijuana. I'd rather he'd do marijuana every night instead.

If she can't deal without alcohol, then she is clearly becoming dependent on it.

People have different levels of alcoholism. Some people depend on it to be social, others seem to depend on it to "live" and get through life. Since she seems to be drinking quite often in a non-social setting, it definitely sounds like she is becoming / is addicted and may need help.

I'd agree with what Fo-rum (2 posts back) said about marijuana, it's less damaging to physical health and as for mental health stuff, it's only a small minority who 'lose the plot' due to MJ. It is habit forming but the need will fade very quickly (say 3 months time after giving up) unlike alcohol which is very strongly addictive and has a very long reaching (decades?) grip on former addicts.

Thanks for your replies, 'm not quite sure why garyww is writing on this though seeing as he isn't contributing to the thread though, I don't like people who negatively critisize.
She does get very drunk and sometimes makes a fool out of herself by laughing insanely loud if she comes in my room to talk abut something etc.

I think I'll let her get on with it, I still don't like it but it isn't really harming anybiody but herself, our relationship isn't that great anyway so I'll keep my distance because I know one of these days something will hapen to her and I don't deserve to go through that if I've already told her my concerns.

Like one night she got so drunk that she couldn't stand up, I heard her fall in the hallway and she hit her head and woke up the next morning with a bruised eye, I was scared that people would have thought I had hit her or something so she made a story that she had a fit.

The title of your thread was "Is my Mum an Alcoholic" and I put in my two cents as did many others and I think the result is that most don't think so. I was perhaps the least 'negative' of all but tried to steer you towards looking at the situation in a different light.
Excuse me for answering your thread. I won't do it again.