Any Aspies attending or completed nursing school? -long post

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Catwoman
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Age: 49
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06 Jan 2009, 2:53 am

I am faced with making a decision about whether to continue my studies in nursing. Until recently, I was attending a two-year nursing program at a local community college. I had completed the first year with no problems and was two weeks away from finishing the fall semester of the second year when I decided that it was in my best interest to withdraw from the program.

I was having difficulty in the clinical component of the program, although I was passing the lecture exams. The difficulty was primarily with organizing the workload during clinical sessions (held at a local hospital) and performing certain skills. Most of the skills I had difficulty with were taught in lab sessions months before and I had little experience with performing them in the hospital. I also experienced a great deal of anxiety during clinical sessions, which I attribute to fear of being evaluated negatively. I found the clinical instructor to be quite intimidating and perceived that she did not like me. However, I did very well on the paperwork for the clinical assignments, which included plans of care, assessments, etc.

After speaking with my clinical instructor, I went back to the lab and attended one-on-one practice sessions with the lab instructor. I did find the lab sessions helpful although the lab instructor felt that I didn't get it because it took me several attempts to perform the skills properly. However, my clinical instructor did notice an improvement and gave me a satisfactory clinical evaluation a few weeks later.

During my last clinical session, I was pulled aside by the clinical instructor and told to go home. She stated that I didn't organize or prioritize, although the first thing I did when I got on the floor that evening after getting a report from the nurses was to look up all the medication I had to give, plan when I would give it, plan when I would do other tasks, etc. I could not complete these things without the instructor's supervision, but she was busy with other students and their assigned patients for some time. She also knew what I was supposed to do that evening and had seen me more than once while passing me in the hall. When I brought this up, she stated that I should have found her and interrupted her.
When I asked if I was going to fail the clinical component, I was told, "You're very close to it." She told me to discuss my options with the dean.

My first day at class after this incident, I met with the nurse counselor at the school. She advised me to withdraw and reapply so I would not have a clinical failure on my record. She believes that my difficulties are simply a matter of confidence and gaining more practice, primarily through employment as a student nurse technician, and that after working in such a capacity for a few months, I should reapply.

The following day, I met with the dean of the program. She told me several things that were reported to her by the clinical instructor and lab instructor:
-avoidance of looking people in the eye
-flat affect
-social disconnect
-difficulty in time management, organizing and prioritizing
-lack of confidence in performing the clinical skills (although with practice and being relaxed I do not have problems)
-"hiding out" during the clinical rotation (this was NOT TRUE, I was either in patient's rooms or looking up information on them at workstations)

The dean also informed me that students who reapply are evaluated, and if what caused them difficulty is still present, they are not readmitted. However, I have heard from other faculty that every student who has failed or withdrawn and reapplied was accepted back into the program. I was flat out told by the dean that if she saw the same person in another 9 months that she saw that day in her office, that I would not get back into the program. She told me that I am a very complex person, should get off any medication I am on (I take medications for depression, sleep, and anxiety), and in need of therapy.

Being told these things, in conjunction with reading about Asperger's and finding too many familiar things in my personal history and the pervasive sense of being different my whole life, leaves me convinced that I am an Aspie, whether a professional says I am or not.

I am looking into resources for testing and diagnosis. But after that, then what? I am wondering if a formal diagnosis could help me in the sense that the faculty would understand what is going on with me, or if I really am not cut out for the nursing profession and should just abandon the effort. What really gets me is that I was six months away from finishing the program. My eventual goal was to go on to graduate school and become a nurse practitioner in psychiatry/mental health. I have a Bachelor's degree in psychology and have worked in the mental health profession in various capacities for nearly four years and wanted to advance my career in the field.

For those of you who have read this far, thank you. For those who have trod on a similar path, support and/or advice is appreciated.


_________________
All of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer by the stars. - Rush, The Pass


MsTriste
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06 Jan 2009, 3:05 am

Ahh, the joys and terrors of nursing school - how well your post brings back the memories. I too was in my mid-thirties when I decided to go to a BSN program. I didn't know about AS at the time, but my psych instructor told me nursing was the worst career I could choose based on my "personality". I vividly remember before the very first clinical day, asking the instructor if we would be judged on our behavior towards patients, and was reassured that it was purely based on clinical skills. I did fine, graduated, and have had a love/hate relationship with being an RN for 15 years. Although, most nursing programs look for ANY excuse to get rid of people - they've always been like that. My guess is, if you think you want to continue, you might do better in a BSN or a master's entry program. It will be much less clinic oriented and more paper and theory oriented (by the way, I taught a semester at a BSN program for second semester students, so I'm familiar with the politics, and I'm almost finished my master's in community and public health nursing.)

We need good nurses. Email me if you want more info - [email protected]