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dalekaspie
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08 Jan 2009, 12:21 pm

im not meant for dating and stuff, you ask out a few people and the patterns become clear. dont bother me that much but what do you think? 8)



LePetitPrince
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08 Jan 2009, 1:25 pm

Well....if you tried much and if you are totally convinced it's that the case then you found out your way to peace of mind.

I think that I am most probably not meant to this as well, but I am not totally convinced yet.



Brook-lynn20
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08 Jan 2009, 1:30 pm

Eh, I'm not meant for it either. I know that for sure.



Postperson
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08 Jan 2009, 3:38 pm

mm, I don't think i'm sophisticated enough, too many head games. i'm simple. :D



i_wanna_blue
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08 Jan 2009, 10:25 pm

I'm not meant for it either. Sometimes however I feel that maybe I am losing out by being this way. Maybe there is a girl out there despite my inabilties who would still like me, for me. I guess I just don't have the guts to find out anymore.



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08 Jan 2009, 10:53 pm

I'm kind of in the same boat. I just don't have a realistic way to meet women. I pursue various activities and hobbies, but they're not very good for meeting women.



Diamond_Head
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09 Jan 2009, 4:15 am

Quote:
I'm not meant for it either. Sometimes however I feel that maybe I am losing out by being this way. Maybe there is a girl out there despite my inabilties who would still like me, for me. I guess I just don't have the guts to find out anymore.


Quote:
I'm kind of in the same boat. I just don't have a realistic way to meet women. I pursue various activities and hobbies, but they're not very good for meeting women.


Yes, dating can suck sometimes. But what's the other viable option? Giving up and remaining alone for the rest of your life, without ever having experienced love or mutual attraction?

View it as something you deserve and just have yet to find, rather than something unobtainable to you. Why shouldn't there be a girl out there who likes you for you? You deserve it just as much as the next man does. But it's unlikely that she'll find a way to somehow wander into your house one day out of nowhere.

Fight for it and learn to take part in it, or fight against it and try to find some new and better way for people to interact and become attracted to each other. Don't just give up and throw in the towel.



Bataar
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09 Jan 2009, 5:42 am

Diamond_Head wrote:
Quote:
I'm not meant for it either. Sometimes however I feel that maybe I am losing out by being this way. Maybe there is a girl out there despite my inabilties who would still like me, for me. I guess I just don't have the guts to find out anymore.


Quote:
I'm kind of in the same boat. I just don't have a realistic way to meet women. I pursue various activities and hobbies, but they're not very good for meeting women.


Yes, dating can suck sometimes. But what's the other viable option? Giving up and remaining alone for the rest of your life, without ever having experienced love or mutual attraction?

View it as something you deserve and just have yet to find, rather than something unobtainable to you. Why shouldn't there be a girl out there who likes you for you? You deserve it just as much as the next man does. But it's unlikely that she'll find a way to somehow wander into your house one day out of nowhere.

Fight for it and learn to take part in it, or fight against it and try to find some new and better way for people to interact and become attracted to each other. Don't just give up and throw in the towel.

I'm not giving up, per se, I'm just indifferent. If it happens it happens, if not, oh well. I'm not going to go out of my way in fruitless attempts to try to make something happen, however. If a single woman I'm attracted to ever shows up at my group's open board game night (no single women have shown up), or some other activity I participate in, I'd probably try to get to know her. However, there is no reason to expect that to change and I don't see the point in hoping for something to happen that is purely random luck.



i_wanna_blue
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09 Jan 2009, 7:01 am

Bataar wrote:
Diamond_Head wrote:
Quote:
I'm not meant for it either. Sometimes however I feel that maybe I am losing out by being this way. Maybe there is a girl out there despite my inabilties who would still like me, for me. I guess I just don't have the guts to find out anymore.


Quote:
I'm kind of in the same boat. I just don't have a realistic way to meet women. I pursue various activities and hobbies, but they're not very good for meeting women.


Yes, dating can suck sometimes. But what's the other viable option? Giving up and remaining alone for the rest of your life, without ever having experienced love or mutual attraction?

View it as something you deserve and just have yet to find, rather than something unobtainable to you. Why shouldn't there be a girl out there who likes you for you? You deserve it just as much as the next man does. But it's unlikely that she'll find a way to somehow wander into your house one day out of nowhere.

Fight for it and learn to take part in it, or fight against it and try to find some new and better way for people to interact and become attracted to each other. Don't just give up and throw in the towel.

I'm not giving up, per se, I'm just indifferent. If it happens it happens, if not, oh well. I'm not going to go out of my way in fruitless attempts to try to make something happen, however. If a single woman I'm attracted to ever shows up at my group's open board game night (no single women have shown up), or some other activity I participate in, I'd probably try to get to know her. However, there is no reason to expect that to change and I don't see the point in hoping for something to happen that is purely random luck.


I agree with Bataar, I am not really giving up, but at the same time I am not going out of my to make things happen . I understand your point Diamond_Head, and you will probably reply by saying something like 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'. I suppose that the reason why the few of us that regards ourselves 'as not meant for' types, is probably due to our inablity to make things happen in the first place.



ToadOfSteel
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09 Jan 2009, 7:37 am

I'm not meant for dating... I'm meant for an actual loving relationship...



CerebralDreamer
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09 Jan 2009, 9:43 am

You just need to put yourself out there, and find ways to make yourself noticed. If you can get around some of the social obstacles to AS, develop a positive mindset suitable to dating, there's no reason you wouldn't have at least 1 woman swooning over you.



lotusblossom
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09 Jan 2009, 10:12 am

Diamond_Head wrote:
Yes, dating can suck sometimes. But what's the other viable option? Giving up and remaining alone for the rest of your life, without ever having experienced love or mutual attraction?



Yes dating does suck :( I definately think the better option is to give up and remain alone for the rest of my life. In fact I think it best not to just give up but to actively persue being alone with great vigor!



i_wanna_blue
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09 Jan 2009, 10:25 am

lotusblossom wrote:
Diamond_Head wrote:
Yes, dating can suck sometimes. But what's the other viable option? Giving up and remaining alone for the rest of your life, without ever having experienced love or mutual attraction?



Yes dating does suck :( I definately think the better option is to give up and remain alone for the rest of my life. In fact I think it best not to just give up but to actively persue being alone with great vigor!


Sometimes I feel this way, however as I previously said I haven't given up hope totally. I suppose I'll just have to be content with the capabilties I have in trying to find someone . If those capabilties lead to something, then great. If not, then so be it.



mitharatowen
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09 Jan 2009, 11:49 am

Bataar wrote:
..If a single woman I'm attracted to ever shows up at my group's open board game night ...


You have a group that has a 'board game night'???

AWESOME!! I want in!
I looove board games!

-edit- on second thought, I'm not too fond of group activities though...
dang paradox...



AutisticMalcontent
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09 Jan 2009, 12:25 pm

I'm glad to hear that you have found peace not dating :) I know there are people on this Earth who can be single for long periods of time or the rest of their lives, and still be content. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those types.

I'm going to use a biblical reference mentioned in Corinthians that sums it all up. Paul said in Corinthians 7:8-9 says this above love/marriage:

"I say to those who are unmarried, especially to widows: It is good for them to remain like me (single), however, if they cannot control themselves, they should get married, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion"

It is good to be single, if you can live that lifestyle and can be content by it, but if you burn with lust and passion, it is better for you to be in a relationship or marriage than to burn with lust, and because of those lustful feelings, do sinful things to negate those feelings.



Diamond_Head
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10 Jan 2009, 4:16 am

Quote:
I am not really giving up, but at the same time I am not going out of my to make things happen . I understand your point Diamond_Head, and you will probably reply by saying something like 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'. I suppose that the reason why the few of us that regards ourselves 'as not meant for' types, is probably due to our inablity to make things happen in the first place.


Not at all. To each his own. I have no reason to convince you that any course of action is the right one to take, beyond saying that life is too short not to take a stand at some point and fight to achieve the things that you desire- including love and attraction.

There's no reason that love should "not be meant for" you, which is an unfortunate mindset that many people seem to have. As previously stated, you're just as deserving as the next man. Love isn't something just allocated to a lucky few who divine grace has somehow deemed worthy. It's something you have to burn for and search for until you find it.

In terms of being unable to make anything happen- The potential of each human being is impossible to calculate. Why sell yourself short, without first finding out what you're truly capable of?

Quote:
If a single woman I'm attracted to ever shows up at my group's open board game night (no single women have shown up), or some other activity I participate in, I'd probably try to get to know her. However, there is no reason to expect that to change and I don't see the point in hoping for something to happen that is purely random luck.


If it matters little to you either way, then there's no reason to change anything. If you hope to find someone you like (as you said, a single woman you're attracted to), but you know that there is very little chance of that ever occurring through an open board game night, why not try another hobby where your chances are at least a little better?

It isn't just purely random luck, although I'm sure luck can play a role in it. You can still stack the odds more in your favor depending on the way you approach things, and how much you desire what you're searching for.