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pandd
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18 Jan 2009, 6:52 pm

While I've never really enjoyed clothes shopping (it's such a muck around trying things on, getting the right size, and of course unless the current fashion of the season does not exclude clothes that I am comfortable wearing, it's a complete waste of time, going from store to store to store trying to find something 'wearable'), the trend toward excruciating loud store music and 'frenetic' shop assistants just makes it unbearable.

My younger sister worked in a jeans store and told me both the loud music and the frenetic staff serve the dual purpose of creating a 'buzz' and disorientating the customer. The idea is the frenetic rush, and loud music make the place seem trendy and lively, while creating a feeling of 'urgency' in the customer encouraging the customer to 'speed' up in making decisions. In other words customers are disorientated by the loud noise and rushing staff and this causes them to make snap decisions to buy articles of clothing they would otherwise return to the rack.

For me personally, it usually means I simply cannot force myself to stay long; sometimes I cannot even try a single article of clothing on and leave immediately, but even when I force myself to stay, I often cannot try enough clothes to get the right size and leave without making a purchase.



CelticRose
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18 Jan 2009, 9:37 pm

pandd wrote:
While I've never really enjoyed clothes shopping (it's such a muck around trying things on, getting the right size, and of course unless the current fashion of the season does not exclude clothes that I am comfortable wearing, it's a complete waste of time, going from store to store to store trying to find something 'wearable'), the trend toward excruciating loud store music and 'frenetic' shop assistants just makes it unbearable.

My younger sister worked in a jeans store and told me both the loud music and the frenetic staff serve the dual purpose of creating a 'buzz' and disorientating the customer. The idea is the frenetic rush, and loud music make the place seem trendy and lively, while creating a feeling of 'urgency' in the customer encouraging the customer to 'speed' up in making decisions. In other words customers are disorientated by the loud noise and rushing staff and this causes them to make snap decisions to buy articles of clothing they would otherwise return to the rack.

For me personally, it usually means I simply cannot force myself to stay long; sometimes I cannot even try a single article of clothing on and leave immediately, but even when I force myself to stay, I often cannot try enough clothes to get the right size and leave without making a purchase.

I hope that as you walk out the door, you tell them why you are leaving without buying anything. Unless they get enough complaints about the loud music and sales staff they won't change.


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Hovis
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20 Jan 2009, 6:07 pm

sheknight wrote:
I wonder why NT women care about what we wear, or that we rarely wear make-up. Do they feel sorry for us? Are we somehow insulting them by not wanting to be like them? I can never tell.


This same thing has often puzzled me. Why should a (heterosexual) woman be remotely concerned with how another woman looks?

Perhaps, once again, it's the lack of theory of mind - that I believe is far more prevalent in NT than AS people - and because we don't look how they would want to look, they assume we must be unhappy with our appearance because they can't imagine someone thinking any differently.



CelticRose
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21 Jan 2009, 8:04 am

Hovis wrote:
sheknight wrote:
I wonder why NT women care about what we wear, or that we rarely wear make-up. Do they feel sorry for us? Are we somehow insulting them by not wanting to be like them? I can never tell.


This same thing has often puzzled me. Why should a (heterosexual) woman be remotely concerned with how another woman looks?

Perhaps, once again, it's the lack of theory of mind - that I believe is far more prevalent in NT than AS people - and because we don't look how they would want to look, they assume we must be unhappy with our appearance because they can't imagine someone thinking any differently.

For some NT women that's the case: they feel sorry for us and want to help us.

For others, it's a way of being catty. It's a veiled insult. By commenting on how we can improve our appearance, they're pointing out that they consider our appearance to be inferior to their's.


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BellaDonna
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21 Jan 2009, 8:09 am

Hovis wrote:
sheknight wrote:
I wonder why NT women care about what we wear, or that we rarely wear make-up. Do they feel sorry for us? Are we somehow insulting them by not wanting to be like them? I can never tell.


I don't have this problem. I can put make-up on well and enjoy dressing up. Is it really an aspie thing or simply differences with women.



Sallamandrina
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08 Feb 2009, 1:25 pm

I prefer shopping online. I can take my time choosing what I want and it's quiet.


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Sallamandrina
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08 Feb 2009, 1:28 pm

BellaDonna wrote:
I don't have this problem. I can put make-up on well and enjoy dressing up. Is it really an aspie thing or simply differences with women.


Same for me.


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margaux
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08 Feb 2009, 2:01 pm

yes, yes and yes. I hate clothes shopping (but I love bookstores and buying cds!) I get so anxious before going to a clothes store that I want to run out from there immediately; I have the same problems as others - i have curves in the wrong places and I am petite. I also like very specific clothes - no bright colours, only plain, fitting clothes. At the same time I really envy all those girls who have no problems like this and I would like to be like them but I can't stand shopping... :cry:



Cthulo
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04 Mar 2009, 12:22 pm

Oh yes, I hate shopping for clothes too! Where I live, it's really hard to find clothes that fit me as I am really small. Add my reluctance of wearing clothes that are too revealing, too tight, or too frilly or just look plain lame, the remaining choices are even less.
Also, is it just me or are women like me who dress simply and in rather androgynous styles get relegated to the bottom of some NT women hierarchy? That happened to me when I worked in a company consisting of 6 women. My female ex-boss was pretty catty towards me :?
Of course, I get those make-over offers too many times from friends and colleagues...



millie
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04 Mar 2009, 10:51 pm

i hate clothes shopping.

i do it once or twice a year, and i buy the same stuff all the time, - all cotton. very simple. jeans and worksclothes for the studio and more cotton. cotton singlets, cotton undies. everything.
i buy in bulk so i only really do it when everything has paint on it or is old.

i used to collect vintage clothes in the 70's - i had an amazing collection of amazing things and dresses. i stored them all in my bedroom in bags and i still wore the same thing all the time - either cotton overalls or a couple of vintage dresses that were soft and did not scratch me.
one day i just gave the lot away.



Last edited by millie on 05 Mar 2009, 5:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hovis
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05 Mar 2009, 4:28 am

BellaDonna wrote:
sheknight wrote:
I wonder why NT women care about what we wear, or that we rarely wear make-up. Do they feel sorry for us? Are we somehow insulting them by not wanting to be like them? I can never tell.


I don't have this problem. I can put make-up on well and enjoy dressing up. Is it really an aspie thing or simply differences with women.


I think probably half-and-half. It's not always co-morbid with AS, but there seems to be a higher percentage of Aspie than NT females who aren't interested in fashion/makeup/etc. In the case of the Aspie women like yourself who are, I'd be interested to ascertain whether it's for somewhat different reasons - such as being specifically to please yourself rather than from any social pressure to do so. I.e., if you one day didn't want to make up, would you still feel obliged to do so, and that you 'wouldn't dare leave the house' without it? I suspect not. :)



gina-ghettoprincess
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05 Mar 2009, 9:09 am

I like shopping when it's because I want new clothes. But I hate when my mum is making me buy new clothes and she's like, "You need jeans, you need socks, you need cardigans," and I'm like, "No Mum, you WANT me to wear that stuff, I want a new pair of shoes and a hoodie," and she thinks she knows what I need when she doesn't.

But the thing that annoys me most about shopping with other people is all the pissing about NTs tend to do. "Hmm, does this suit me? Do these shoes match my earrings? Do you like this top, or would it make my earlobes look fat?" I just like to see something I like, check the price, then make a decision. It saves valuable time, see.

All in all, I prefer shopping online, but I only just got my own debit card so I haven't been able to do that before. Maybe it was unwise of me to spend £73 on underwear, LOL, but hey.


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CleverKitten
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05 Mar 2009, 10:10 am

I do enjoy clothes shopping, and makeup. But not for the same reasons NTs do.

I buy what *I* like. What I like may or may not be in fashion. I buy what I think looks good on me and suits my own personal style.
I do not purchase something solely because it is the current trend and everyone else is wearing it. Actually, I tend to avoid trends, so I don't look like a clone of everyone else.


I rarely ever buy clothes from the mall or department stores; they are way too expensive.
I prefer shopping at thrift stores, because they are so cheap, they have such an enormous variety, and a lot of things there are one-of-a-kind! If I buy something that doesn't fit right, I won't regret it as much, because it probably didn't cost more than $5 anyways. I can always alter it, give it away, or re-donate it.


I enjoy wearing makeup, but I don't feel as if I absolutely have to "put my face on" before I leave the house. To me, makeup is to be used as an accessory, like jewelry, to accentuate a feature or to add color or pizazz.
Just like jewelry, makeup really shouldn't be used to make one beautiful, as it will surely fail. A pretty person is pretty with or without makeup; an ugly person is ugly with or without makeup.
Face makeup can be used, however, as something to "clear the canvas"; to prepare the face, and to reduce visual distractions from the "masterpiece" of the outfit which you have created. Eyeshadow, lipstick, and blush, are the "paint" that you can coordinate with your outfit for finishing touches.


This is all just my own opinion, of course. :oops:


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05 Mar 2009, 3:05 pm

i like clothes, but i don't necessarily like shopping. i always think it might be fun to go pick some new things out and try them on, but when i get to the store, it's usually too loud and there are too many people there, so i just kind of grab things and go. (needless to say, i end up with a lot of things that don't fit right.) i hate going in and going through the process of returning things (snarky sales associates, lines, etc.) so i don't have much to wear.

my sisters constantly laugh at outfits i find amazing; i've considered having them come with me to pick things out sometime, but they would want to stay waaaay too long.



05 Mar 2009, 8:00 pm

I never minded clothes shopping. It was about finding what I like and trying them on. Now I have so many clothes I don't need to go clothes shopping.



MONKEY
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06 Mar 2009, 4:05 pm

I love clothes shopping I like updating my wadrobe, I don't necessarily buy what's fashionable just what I think looks and feels nice, usually men's stuff, womens stuff is too tight and has stupid shapes.
I don't like shopping with my mum that much though, because my mum keeps showing my stuff I don't like but I love it with my friends because I have the freedom to buy what I want.


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