How can I get a 'girly' Friend (No not a Girl Friend)

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Gliesen_Antrho
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11 Mar 2009, 5:40 am

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without being at least aquainted first.


Well we had been in the same society for a couple of months. And she had been going on about the various ones for a while. I can see how it would be odd. I wouldn't of thought of it being a pick up line. Of course that was me feeling confident enough and being myself. :roll:

Maybe you or your friend can

A girl I vaguley knew was telling me about the last chick-flick she wathed, so I mentioned I enjoyed watching "she's the man" last night. She suddely said fair enough and left in a hurry which seemd odd.

Quote:
Note, talking about making a girly friend in this thread wasn't wrong, your talking about people rather than a person, but the moment you see an individual you need to instantly think "another human individual" rather than "a girly person I want to befriend".


I see what you mean. It is more like another person who might do "girly" activites with me.

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show off in front of other boys
I don't get that either.

your friend is describing what I'm after rather well. :) No girl I know has tried anything like that with me though. How can I let them kow they can conifde, text me, talk about anything? I do worry about being creepy with hugs, as I already seem to come off as hitting on every girl I talk to when I'm not (occasionally guys think so too) :roll:



TheKingsRaven
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12 Mar 2009, 1:08 pm

I can't help you with specific examples, I wasn't there so there's no way I'll be accurate, if its a common thing for people to think your hitting on them ask a someone you know offline what your doing that makes people think that.

As for letting them know they can text you etc, you be the sort of person that other people feel ok to confide in and then they will; on how to do that I can't really say much more than what I said in my previous post: respect people as individual human beings, don't have an agenda (trying to make friends counts as an agenda) and just generally be polite and helpful.



Gliesen_Antrho
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21 Apr 2009, 12:38 pm

no luck on this.

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common thing for people to think your hitting on them ask a someone you know offline what your doing that makes people think that

Asked a guy I know, apparntly thought I was gay due to lack of hitting on women, so can't be that.


Quote:
As for letting them know they can text you etc, you be the sort of person that other people feel ok to confide in and then they will; on how to do that I can't really say much more than what I said in my previous post: respect people as individual human beings, don't have an agenda (trying to make friends counts as an agenda) and just generally be polite and helpful.

I've always prided myself on my politeness, manners and trustworthiness. Though how people will ever know when they never say more than hello to me I don't know.

This is so common, I guess the mere fact that I went up to them must mean I have an agenda even when I think I have no agenda other than saying Hi to someone.

It makes me feel like giving up.



starygrrl
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21 Apr 2009, 3:07 pm

My advice is to try community theater. It sounds like the place you could possibly make friends with regards to a few of these things.

My other advice is to go over to AVEN (asexuality.org). I think they may have a good idea how to approach you situation. Alot of folks on the board have AS as well as being asexual.



Gliesen_Antrho
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26 Apr 2009, 9:13 pm

looking 4som community theatre nearby. Thinking maybe go to a production, but is buy 1 get 1 free. What the heck am I gonna do with an extra ticket? I'll be so depressed if I end up sitting next to an empty chair.

Looked at AVEN, seems this is a common problem for asexuals, couldn't fiind anything in the way of a solution though. wonder if I am asexual. Hmm does that mean I can go to LGBT? I've wanted to but not being into guys.. :?

From reading all the other bad luck guys seem to have with romance, maybe I should just hit on a girl so I get rejected and straight into the friends zone. :lol:



Gliesen_Antrho
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22 May 2009, 2:38 pm

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girls don't get it when guys like to show off in front of other boys, friendly, someone to confide in, someone to give a hug to Wink, and just be abke to talk about anything really, honesty is the key fact if you see what i mean

and to be someone who the girl can pick up the phone to call or send a message to when she needs anything, girly friendships are different, you're there for each other no matter what, different than boy friendships, you can talk about anything or everything at any time
Come to think of it TKR when I posted this is exactly what I meant by girly and precisley the friendship I want. I can't stand all the showing off and going on about girls that other guys do. If they were there for me then I'd pick up the phone at 4am or whatever. I get so jealous of girls hugging each other, I wish I got hugged that much(though not neccasary by girls, but it is not a very guy thing to do it seems) TKR can you tell me how you managed?



ericc
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23 May 2009, 12:57 pm

Excuse me. I was wondering if you identify as Androgyne, Genderqueer or Non-Binary Gender Nonconformist?

If so, you would be in the subgene of Transgender in the LGBT area.

Don't worry, your not alone. I identify in the Gender of Androgyne myself.

Though my feminine side is more into Cats, Theatre, Parks, Nature, I freak out if I see bugs, Fabrics, And I'm attracted to Masculine Women but that's another story. LOL

But yeah, try to find a local Transgender meeting or social group around your area. That's what I'm currently looking for myself. :) Good Luck with everything.

P.S. feel free to email me [email protected]



Gliesen_Antrho
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25 May 2009, 7:00 am

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Excuse me. I was wondering if you identify as Androgyne, Genderqueer or Non-Binary Gender Nonconformist?

I have never heard of these terms untill now. I have always thought of myself as a straight guy who is a bit girly, like a reverse tomboy ("TomGirl"). Though I'm starting to wonder if I may be asexual. I mean I'm not so intrested in girl who act like guys. Most of my family are convinved I'm gay.

Quote:
Though my feminine side is more into Cats, Theatre, Parks, Nature, I freak out if I see bugs, Fabrics, And I'm attracted to Masculine Women but that's another story.
I'm a bird-lover so don't like cats cos of the damage they do. At the pub sometimes a girl will coo over how cute the baby birds are (it has a balcony over the river) but guys won't do that and girls are quickly taken away. :( Am into theatre too, love nature especally canals,riversides,meadows,marshlands anywhere with water really.

I learnt how to deal with spiders but worms/slugs freak me out.



Gifted-Monster
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25 May 2009, 7:09 am

*Shrugs* Asexuality is good for developing aspies.

Me...I'm asexual for the most part. My best friends are female. Not because they're easy on the eye but because they're intelligent and we both know we don't want in the others pants.

Equality and fun.

A good way to get female friends is to open up around them. Aspies can often invoke maternal instincts to a degree so if you play your cards right...you'll have a devoted, loving caring female friend.


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ericc
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25 May 2009, 10:37 am

I've noticed that I can open up to women but I can't to men. I can have a sick and twisted sense of humor in front of men but women seem to lot like it as much. That's why I love Tomboys because they are kind of both. Androgyne like me sort of.