Foreign wives more common for those with AS?

Page 6 of 8 [ 126 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next

arkityp
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 114

13 Jan 2009, 5:56 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
I see a child far more likely than an adult with aspergers to be taken advantage of..... :?

Then again, I haven't seen this movie...so I hope it isn't what I'm assuming it is.


sounds like it is. from personal experience, people still make attempts to take advantage of me. i think it's an inability to recognize predators/naivety that we all have.



Magnus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,372
Location: Claremont, California

13 Jan 2009, 6:19 pm

Quote:
Magnus wrote:
Why adhere to societal standards of gender roles when they apparently go against some people's nature? In other words, what's wrong with a passive male being in a relationship with an aggressive male?

ToadofSteel wrote:
I thought you were one of those bigtime anti-homosexual conservative christian types...
_________________


LOL



Tias
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 723
Location: Denmark

13 Jan 2009, 7:15 pm

Isn't this getting abit off track? lol



graemephillips
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

13 Jan 2009, 7:34 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
graemephillips wrote:
I don't believe my girlfriend is trying to marry me just for a passport because she once said openly to me in conversation that she had entertained the idea of taking up her half-brother's homosexual partner's offer to participate in a bogus marriage with her so that she can get EU residency. My girlfriend is an intelligent girl and I am certain she would have known better than to say that to me if she really were pulling the wool over my eyes, unless she were double-crossing me (i.e. deliberately saying that so as to use reverse psychology to convince me that she wants more than a passport from me).


Hate to say it, but I would conclude the opposite -- she is making her desire to leave Columbia through almost any means very clear, and broaching the idea with you to see if you accept it. Women don't blurt out things for no reason, at least not the smart ones.

I myself had a green card wedding, but we were very much in love, and I had a chance to bail on the whole thing -- she didn't cling when we broke up for a while. We're still together 11 years later, and I got the better end of the bargain by far, though I guess I missed out on messing around in my prime (a small sacrifice for peace of mind and a great love life).

I don't blame anyone for trying to get out of a third-world existence -- it really is hell for anyone who has ambitions to be trapped in that, and it's literally almost impossible for anyone not rich to emigrate out of that to the United States. It's a pretty good motivator to take on someone who isn't perfect as a BF, especially someone who might not cheat because they are having a tough time getting a love life going already.

I'm not saying she is using you, but watch out. Am I correct that this relationship is almost entirely a long-distance one?

One final note -- immigrants in general (long-term ones, not "sojourners" who come here to make a quick buck and then return to their homeland) tend to be dissatisfied for some reason with their home country. These people felt like strangers in their own country, so maybe it's no wonder they connect so well with AS (if that is indeed the case). Two kindred souls can relate well to each other.


It's still possible that she might be double-crossing me i.e. giving the impression of honesty to hide a deceitful personality, but the explanation given doesn't fit.

I haven't yet told her that you need to be married for 6 years in the UK before you can apply for a passport if you receive your residency as a result of marriage. I am sure I will tell her that piece of information soon and obviously, I will observe her reaction. However, it would be madness to marry a British national such as myself and have to spend 6 years in a sham marriage when she could marry another EU national from a country where there is much less scrutiny. I'm sure many other EU states would allow her to receive indefinite leave to remain very quickly.

Also, when she told me about this idea of a bogus marriage to her half-brother's homosexual partner, I expressed my views in no uncertain terms for the majority of the conversation about any kind of marriage for a passport. In the beginning, she was happy to reply to what I said on the issue, but after we had discussed the topic at great length, she lost interest in discussing it because in the end, I was repeating my arguments. If I were a girl trying to gain a passport as a result of marriage, I would choose a man who is less obviously suspicious of my motives than myself.

In the same conversation, she told me very firmly that in the medium term (most likely she is referring to between now and finishing her licenciate (probably August 2009) and masters (probably summer 2011), she won't entertain the idea of marriage to anyone at all anyway, due to the demands her studies will put on her.

I don't believe my girlfriend is disillusioned with Colombia, because she has said nothing to indicate being unpatriotic and she gets quite mad about Hollywood's warped portrayal of her country.

Yes, the relationship is long-distance. She has never asked me for any money, even when her family was in very dire financial straits on account of the then weak US dollar (the family is heavily dependent on the money sent home by her father, who works for a Greek shipping company and is paid in dollars) and appeared a bit uncomfortable when I announced that I had bought her a birthday present, as she felt obliged to reciprocate and wasn't able to do so. I have been in touch with the Institute of Civil Engineers to ask for advice regarding getting her career as a civil engineer in the UK started and her degree accredited, but I draw the line at giving money to a woman who isn't my wife.

It's still possible that she has some ulterior motives, but the only plausible possibility that I know of is that she deliberately told me about the bogus marriage offer so as to create the false impression that she is honest (i.e. double crossing): - very few women would be stupid enough to tell a man that sort of thing if they were actually trying to fleece him.



graemephillips
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

14 Jan 2009, 6:53 am

MissConstrue wrote:
I see a child far more likely than an adult with aspergers to be taken advantage of..... :?

Then again, I haven't seen this movie...so I hope it isn't what I'm assuming it is.


I haven't seen it either and I understand your sentiments. I have read some synopses and it sounds quite gross, but I will probably watch it out of curiosity if I can.



graemephillips
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

14 Jan 2009, 7:04 am

Tias wrote:
Isn't this getting abit off track? lol


Not really. AS men and relationships with foreign women seems to be the overall theme here, as was intended by the poster.



graemephillips
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

14 Jan 2009, 7:19 am

Tias wrote:
graemephillips wrote:
Yo! Does de people readin' dis post tink dat me Colombian bird is well fit? Me has enclosed two more photos of her.
Image
Image
Well fit, innit? BOOYAKASHA!



She has some nice

...............................| . . . . . . ::::::: / . . . . . .
...............................`\ . ; . . . :::::: / . . . . . . .
.................................`\ ` . . .::::::: | . . . . . .
................................../ . . .::::::::: | . . . . . . . .
..................................| . .:::::::::: / . . . . . .
..................................\:::::::::::: / . . . . . . .
...................................`\:::::::::: \ . . . . . .
.................................../ . . . .::::: \ . . . . . . .
...................................| . . . . .::::: \ . . . . . . .
...................................| . . .,-~``:::: | . . . . .
...................................| .,-` . .::::::: / . . . . . .
...................................|-` . :..::::::: / . . . . . . . sex leg
...................................| . . ::::::::: / . . . . . . . .
...................................| . . ::::::: / . . . . . . .
...................................| . .::::::: / . . . . . . . .
...................................| . .::::::: | . . . . . . . .
...................................| . .::::::: | . . . . . . . . .
.................................../ . . .::::: | . . . . . . . . . . .
..............................,.-` . . . .::::: \ . . . . . . . . . .
..........................,.-`. . . . . . .:::::`| . . . . . . . .
................,-~~`. . .::::::::::::::::,./ . . . . . . . . .
...............(______,.-~~`````````` . . . . . . . .
....................................................................

woot, always wanted to use that one = D


Yo, me is glad dat you agrees dat she is well fit, innit? BOOYAKASHA!

De drawing was quite good. How long did dis take you?



j5689
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 304
Location: Riva, MD

14 Jan 2009, 11:02 am

He copied and pasted it. And why do you keep talking like that, it looks ridiculous.



Tias
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 723
Location: Denmark

14 Jan 2009, 11:14 am

j5689 wrote:
He copied and pasted it. And why do you keep talking like that, it looks ridiculous.
like he/she said, it's copied, I have saved several "epic" pictures and things like that I am just waiting to use =P



Kirska
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 581
Location: Dallas, TX

14 Jan 2009, 11:48 am

I am married to a Canadian, but I never had a problem with American men as long as they're understanding.


_________________
"Shadow, my sweet shadow
to you I look no more"


graemephillips
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

14 Jan 2009, 11:53 am

j5689 wrote:
He copied and pasted it. And why do you keep talking like that, it looks ridiculous.


Because I like doing my Ali G impressions as an ironic way of saying that I think a girl is attractive. I like poking fun at wannabe gangsters expressing their favourable opinion of a woman's appearance.



graemephillips
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

14 Jan 2009, 12:04 pm

Kirska wrote:
I am married to a Canadian, but I never had a problem with American men as long as they're understanding.


I'm not so sure the discussion is so applicable to American-Canadian relationships, because Canada is basically the same as the USA apart from the fact that Canada still retains the British monarch as its head of state. This is the main reason the Canadians have little enthusiasm about the republic idea: - if they were a republic, they would be pretty much identical to their southern neighbour.



Kirska
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 581
Location: Dallas, TX

14 Jan 2009, 12:15 pm

graemephillips wrote:
Kirska wrote:
I am married to a Canadian, but I never had a problem with American men as long as they're understanding.


I'm not so sure the discussion is so applicable to American-Canadian relationships, because Canada is basically the same as the USA apart from the fact that Canada still retains the British monarch as its head of state. This is the main reason the Canadians have little enthusiasm about the republic idea: - if they were a republic, they would be pretty much identical to their southern neighbour.

It depends entirely on what part of Canada they're from but I think this is a common misconception that they are the same. The cultures are very similar but moving someone from the northern East coast of Canada to Texas is similar in distance from Cairo to Paris, for a bit of perspective.

He is very obviously a foreigner here, though not as much now that he's been here for 3 years.


_________________
"Shadow, my sweet shadow
to you I look no more"


graemephillips
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

14 Jan 2009, 12:37 pm

Kirska wrote:
graemephillips wrote:
Kirska wrote:
I am married to a Canadian, but I never had a problem with American men as long as they're understanding.


I'm not so sure the discussion is so applicable to American-Canadian relationships, because Canada is basically the same as the USA apart from the fact that Canada still retains the British monarch as its head of state. This is the main reason the Canadians have little enthusiasm about the republic idea: - if they were a republic, they would be pretty much identical to their southern neighbour.

It depends entirely on what part of Canada they're from but I think this is a common misconception that they are the same. The cultures are very similar but moving someone from the northern East coast of Canada to Texas is similar in distance from Cairo to Paris, for a bit of perspective.

He is very obviously a foreigner here, though not as much now that he's been here for 3 years.


Raw distances aren't always significant. For instance, my aunty in New Zealand was shocked to hear that the Japanese got as far as New Guinea in WWII, but in raw distances, this is about the same as the distance from the UK to Syria. If an expanding world power got as far as Syria, people in the UK wouldn't be all that bothered. Similarly, the cultural difference between Texas and the northern east coast of Canada is not the same as that between Paris and Cairo (even though the recent riots show that there are lots of Arabs living in Paris).



irikarah
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 206
Location: Portland, OR

14 Jan 2009, 2:23 pm

Kirska wrote:
It depends entirely on what part of Canada they're from but I think this is a common misconception that they are the same. The cultures are very similar but moving someone from the northern East coast of Canada to Texas is similar in distance from Cairo to Paris, for a bit of perspective.

The same is true between different US states, though. Someone from Texas or North Carolina would find cities like Portland, Seattle, or New York to be very different from where they came from. Similarly, I felt pretty weird in Charlotte and Providence, but right at home in Toronto. Granted, it's been about 10 years since I last visited Canada, but you get the idea.

I think there's a much greater culture shock between the US/Canada and somewhat more "exotic" places like France or Japan. I talk semi-regularly with a girl in Angers, France, and we constantly hit points in our conversations where one of us has to explain a concept that the other doesn't understand because there's no immediate frame of reference. That's never really happened with any Canadian that I've known.



Kirska
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 581
Location: Dallas, TX

14 Jan 2009, 3:57 pm

The title of the thread says "foreign". The definition of foreign: "1: situated outside a place or country ; especially : situated outside one's own country."

Canada to US is foreign. Maybe not *as* foreign as say, France to Egypt, but foreign none the less.

I realize that the culture difference is not as great especially recently as Canada has become more Americanized. But it is there. And even if you want to believe it isn't, the thread is about foreigners and he is a foreigner. He can't work without a green card, and I can assure you it was no less expensive or stressful for him to get it than anyone else except for at the interview with the government agent guy. Canadians don't have a free pass go and collect $200 card to work in the US. They may have an easier time adjusting to US life, but they are foreigners none the less.

Quote:
Similarly, I felt pretty weird in Charlotte and Providence, but right at home in Toronto.

The cities are the most Americanized places in Canada. My husband didn't come from a place like Toronto. He came from a small town that was still very much Canadian. He had been to America once in his entire life before he met me.

When I visit his home, I am totally and completely out of place. I speak English and I don't have a crazy accent. Other than that I stick out like a sore thumb.

Like I said, it depends entirely on what region we're referring to. I have spent a fair amount of time in French speaking areas and I felt just as out of place there as I'm sure many people do in an overseas nation.


_________________
"Shadow, my sweet shadow
to you I look no more"