Saying you have AS - making yourself an easy target?

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Padium
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26 Jan 2009, 7:46 am

I told acoworker yesterday, who informed me his sister has it. He also claimed his sister is the most annoying person he knows. Annoying, or AS tendancies? I'm leaning towards the AS tendancies on that, so I want to work with him again just so I can ask how exactly she is annoying.



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26 Jan 2009, 10:44 am

My classmates found me quite quirky and odd at first, and then one day we had a lesson on autism. Explaining what it was and the tendencies of someone who has it.
Since then, they've treated me quite fairly. They probably still think I'm a bit odd, but it's better now that they understand why.
I don't know if they understand what Aspergers is, but at least they understand autism.


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Greentea
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26 Jan 2009, 12:08 pm

Ticker wrote:
That's why I think people who go out in public and announce that they have Aspergers in news articles or at ASD conventions are absolutely stupid.


I couldn't agree more. There are these Aspies in my community who keep inviting me to participate and speak in their "Conferences", which are geared towards integration with NTs, so lots of NTs attend. I keep wondering whether they think I'm stupid - why would I go on a stage and have my face exposed for everyone in our tiny community to remember when I go for an interview in their company, or when they become my neighbours one day, etc. etc.? They say we have to educate the NTs. At the expense of my safety, dignity and well-being? Ridiculous. I suppose the people who agree to participate are either rich (not needing to look for a job here) or indeed idiots.

I think many of us have this illusion that if only they knew it's not my fault that I am like this, they'd stop treating me with contempt. It's more an illusion than a reality.


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Ticker
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26 Jan 2009, 2:31 pm

Greentea wrote:
I couldn't agree more. There are these Aspies in my community who keep inviting me to participate and speak in their "Conferences", which are geared towards integration with NTs, so lots of NTs attend. I keep wondering whether they think I'm stupid - why would I go on a stage and have my face exposed for everyone in our tiny community to remember when I go for an interview in their company, or when they become my neighbours one day, etc. etc.? They say we have to educate the NTs. At the expense of my safety, dignity and well-being? Ridiculous. I suppose the people who agree to participate are either rich (not needing to look for a job here) or indeed idiots.



You mean there are conferences in your country too? I thought the conferences were isolated to the Western US mainly because I never hear of any other place having them. Oh I always told them no to being on adult panels because I had a good job paying twice as much as any of the other AS people made. So its not like you want to announce to co-workers, your boss or future employers that you are autistic. It seems like the ones that agree either don't work so its not an issue for them or they are one of those attention seeking Aspies who will do anything even to get negative attention.

Greentea wrote:
I think many of us have this illusion that if only they knew it's not my fault that I am like this, they'd stop treating me with contempt. It's more an illusion than a reality.


Yeah I see the same thought pattern on WP. Telling someone you have AS doesn't get you off the hook for bad behavior. Its not a valid excuse and will only cause you to be treated worse or disregarded all together. Think of it this way if someone tells people they have schizophrenia they don't get treated with kindness but instead will get avoided or have people talk about them because society regards schizo as a joke. AS is regarded as the same as being retarded by the majority of people.



Greentea
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26 Jan 2009, 3:17 pm

Yes, the leader of the association in my community doesn't work and is supported financially by his NT wife. He goes on TV shows and all these conferences, but he knows he'll never be out there looking for a job.


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Homer_Bob
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26 Jan 2009, 3:37 pm

I only tell those about my social impairment to those who are worthy in my opinion. It has to be a person I'm somewhat close to or really get along with. I would never tell a random stranger about it.



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26 Jan 2009, 3:44 pm

Ticker wrote:
AS is regarded as the same as being retarded by the majority of people.


Then God help us all! 8O

I'm not stupid by any means.

I'm not completely defenseless either.



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26 Jan 2009, 4:12 pm

I do not tell everyone but my web site is there so many know, the problem is they only read or understand as much as they want to. But at my age have spent half a life time not being understood or understanding myself, so I am very happy to of found aspergers and self and have no problem with others knowing as feel the more of us that do speak out the easier it will be for the next generation. My 15 year old is quite happy to have aspergers, but does not advertise the fact, but his friends know, do they understand - if they can be brothered and want to, they just take him for him mostly.

I can truly say others knowing has not been a problem for us, as with aspergers I have many associated condition dyslexia etc... and rather than me feeling my differences are a shameful secret, I can explain and allow my differences which has given me bucket loads more confidence... yes some people have backed away but not worth knowing anyway and on my journey have met many new wonderful people, so I say stick with like minded people because if you have to live your life pretending to fit, it never works...


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Ticker
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27 Jan 2009, 12:58 am

AmberEyes wrote:
Ticker wrote:
AS is regarded as the same as being retarded by the majority of people.


Then God help us all! 8O

I'm not stupid by any means.

I'm not completely defenseless either.


I've told people I have Aspergers a high functioning form of autism and the response has been things like "but you aren't retarded", "but you can talk" or "why would you want to be diagnosed with that?". That last gem came from a friend whose husband absolutely has to be an Aspie. I mean how could a first class nerd astronomer not be an Aspie? He has no social skills and she has to tell him everything to do. I really want to ask her why she married an Aspie if we are so bad. But I know the answer its because he makes a load of money.



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27 Jan 2009, 1:43 am

Greentea wrote:
Yes, the leader of the association in my community doesn't work and is supported financially by his NT wife. He goes on TV shows and all these conferences, but he knows he'll never be out there looking for a job.


that grinds in my gut too, ChinaShoppeBull. the endless work, the constantly having to justify earthly existance with constant toil. and if not working at work, then to shop and cook and clean and launder and do, do do. And all the explaining about Asperger's doesn't stop one second of this.

Merle


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Greentea
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27 Jan 2009, 2:14 am

Tell me about it :( Right now I'm running late for work because I so loathe having to go. It's not the work, it's the people's attitude towards me, though. Having to lose no matter what I do.


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