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P-Lane
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24 Jan 2009, 1:46 pm

I may be thrown out of dad's house soon enough. It sucks but I just can't control my rages. If I had no rages, life would be 2x better easy and I'd have more friends, still be in College, ect. I've been this way since I was a little kid and it's a b***h. I don't know if I'll ever change sadly. I'd really like to but it's...the way I am unfortunately. I spoke with dad last night and told him 95% of the things that are bothering me. He said there's "cause to be depressed" but there is with most people too. He's doing all that he can to assist me and I've been taking meds regularly and seeing a counselor but geez...I hope I can beat my bipolar cause my anger's getting the better of me. I'm now probably less level headed then I've ever been and broke a table in one kick last night.



millie
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24 Jan 2009, 2:22 pm

hello P-Lane. I have absolutely terrible meltdowns and rages that come from out of the blue if my internal logic and my plans are disrupted. it is exceedingly difficult for me and others around me.

i hope you are ok. i know they cause me great difficulty - frigging unbelievably so.

i have done everything - from cbt therapy to anger management therapy to try to address it. at least now i am learning to warn people when they need to stop talking at me because i am hitting the overload stage. i am nearly 50. At this age i am learning what most people learn in the first seven or so years of life, in terms of emotion regulation and control -

do not be too hard on yourself.
might be good to live on your own if you can afford it? jsut a suggestion..... :wink:



Dussel
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24 Jan 2009, 2:53 pm

I do not know it will work with you, but I had the similar problem and the Meditation of Marcus Aurelius helped me a lot. He explains why anger, rage, meltdowns, etc. are not needed, how to control such feeling by invoking your reason.

When you got in range, ask your self, what my emotions will change for the better? So, if it does not change anything for the better, why I shall be angry, or even in range? You need to give your reason control on your brain. At the end it is only issue in which you can be really in charge. Everything else is foremost beyond your control. Allowing those issues beyond your to influence your mind give away the only real granted freedom you have.

If something happens, not in your control, think that you shall allow this to gain control about yourself. Just stay in charge of yourself. You are only responsible for the actions and thinking of one person: Yourself.