Would you choose the big apple or the small apple?

Page 3 of 4 [ 50 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next


Would you choose the big apple or the small?
I go for the big one 36%  36%  [ 18 ]
I will take the small one 64%  64%  [ 32 ]
Total votes : 50

mosez
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2008
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 520
Location: Norway

26 Jan 2009, 3:51 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:
mosez wrote:
I see you relate. In fact I had thought of a third option in the poll, that said I don't want to choose, so I don't want an apple. But I somehow could not fix the poll thing. I thought I'd learned it by now, but I did something wrong. So the compromise should in fact be there. So those who feel like compromicing, just have to think stronger :idea:


No, you misunderstand me. What I mean by compromise is take the smaller apple.


Sorry, but I had in mind to have a compromice option to the poll, but I somehow f****d it up.


_________________
I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez


millie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2008
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,448

26 Jan 2009, 4:03 pm

Quote:
mitharatowen wrote:
Yes, I definately do this. I think it has to do with how I was raised as a child. My mother's philosophy was pretty much 'You're just a kid, you don't have any rights' so I am used to things like.. not taking the last slice of pizza becasue someone else might want it, not sitting in the front seat of a car because that's where the adults sit, ect ect ect.

Seems that now even though I am grown, I still think such things to myself. I don't matter much, I'm just a kid.


corrupting auntie millie here, mith :wink:

now, iam one of 8 kids and my mother actually rang a friggin bell for mealtimes. if you have seen the old ma and pa kettle movies, then you can see ma kettle with her bell. My mum did that. seh looks nothing like ma kettle, but teh bell ringing was a part of mylife. (my mum is f*****g weird.)
i fought for everything to survive really.
i was a little feral animal. still am.


i went for the big apples.
I am a guts for life.

nya nya nya.



mosez
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2008
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 520
Location: Norway

26 Jan 2009, 4:35 pm

millie wrote:
Quote:
mitharatowen wrote:
Yes, I definately do this. I think it has to do with how I was raised as a child. My mother's philosophy was pretty much 'You're just a kid, you don't have any rights' so I am used to things like.. not taking the last slice of pizza becasue someone else might want it, not sitting in the front seat of a car because that's where the adults sit, ect ect ect.

Seems that now even though I am grown, I still think such things to myself. I don't matter much, I'm just a kid.


corrupting auntie millie here, mith :wink:

now, iam one of 8 kids and my mother actually rang a friggin bell for mealtimes. if you have seen the old ma and pa kettle movies, then you can see ma kettle with her bell. My mum did that. seh looks nothing like ma kettle, but teh bell ringing was a part of mylife. (my mum is f***ing weird.)
i fought for everything to survive really.
i was a little feral animal. still am.


i went for the big apples.
I am a guts for life.

nya nya nya.


Well, yes, it all might cook down to the way you were brought up. That placed you on a track that's problematic to leave. I don't mean you in special, millie(but your story rocks), just all of us. I was curious to know how maybe the childhood inflected our adulthood life. Maybe too much black and white, but I feel it's important for ppl and myself to know why we react in certain ways, in given occations.


_________________
I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez


sartresue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,766
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism

27 Jan 2009, 11:41 am

Apple of my eye topic

Lots of ways to look at this. An Aspie thing.

1. Take the big one and split it, sharing.

2. Refuse both. Say you want something else.

3. Take the big one and trade it for two small. There are always more than two apples.

4. Sometimes the big apple is infested with a worm. Do not let the size fool you.


_________________
Radiant Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind

Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory

NOT a believer of Mystic Woo-Woo


Anemone
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,426
Location: Edmonton

27 Jan 2009, 11:55 am

Fooood! Outta my way!!

One of my father's friends was always first in line for the cookies at the monthly dances, so I guess I had bad role models. :wink:

At the cottage we had one of those big cast iron triangles that you could hear all over the lake, so my mother didn't have to shout when dinner was ready. Getting to ring it was fun.

The way the poll works is that you have to click the button next to each option, so that when you post there's an extra empty field. I had problems the first time I used a poll, too.



RockDrummer616
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Dec 2008
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 910
Location: Steel City (Golden State no more)

27 Jan 2009, 12:01 pm

I'm not totally sure. For me it depends on the object, the other person, and maybe even some other random stuff.



elderwanda
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,555
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

27 Jan 2009, 12:18 pm

I think taking the small one is generally the decent thing to do.

This reminds me of a scene in "The Joy Luck Club" (the movie, but possibly the book, too). There is a family, mostly made of young women, and they are sharing a meal. They pass around a dish full of something, like fish, and each take one. Later on, one of the young ladies' mother said, and I paraphrase:

"I notice you chose the smallest, worst-looking fish, and left the nicest ones for the others. Everyone else chose the biggest, best one they could find, and were thinking only of themselves. But you are different. You chose the worst quality fish, because you have the best quality heart."

Of course, some unscrupulous people will take advantage of a person who always chooses the worst-quality for themselves, because if they want the best, all they have to do is offer you the first choice. So, if you feel like you're with someone who is like that, you can say, "Oh, thank you so much for giving me first choice. I think I'll take this nice big one, if you don't mind! *chomp!*"



Marcia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,218

27 Jan 2009, 1:48 pm

I would take whichever apple was nearer me! Or the small one, if they were equally close! :)

My mother always said that it was rude and selfish to choose the best or biggest of whatever was offered, so you should always take the one that was closest.

Someone close to me told me recently that I had always been too compliant. This is something I've been working through with my counsellor, and it seems to fit with my pattern of always doing things for others, but never asking or expecting anything for myself.



mitharatowen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,994

27 Jan 2009, 2:05 pm

I am thinking about this now, and maybe this is what you meant originally, mosez. I am wondering if our view of the world has something to do with it. Since we tend veiw things in terms of 'rules' rather than just guidelines, a person with AS may see something like what elderwanda posted and internalize that as a 'rule.' You should always take the worst things to be a good person, ect.

If someone were able to veiw that as a guideline but not a hard and fast rule, they might not have a problem with taking good things now and then. Whereas someone who views it as a rule would feel terribly guilty if they ever took something nice for themself.



mosez
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2008
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 520
Location: Norway

27 Jan 2009, 2:33 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
I am thinking about this now, and maybe this is what you meant originally, mosez. I am wondering if our view of the world has something to do with it. Since we tend veiw things in terms of 'rules' rather than just guidelines, a person with AS may see something like what elderwanda posted and internalize that as a 'rule.' You should always take the worst things to be a good person, ect.

If someone were able to veiw that as a guideline but not a hard and fast rule, they might not have a problem with taking good things now and then. Whereas someone who views it as a rule would feel terribly guilty if they ever took something nice for themself.


Think you're right, here. I was thinking in those lines. I also take something good for myself now and then. I guess it all depends on how one is brought up, some rules from the childhood still sticks, somehow


_________________
I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez


mosez
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2008
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 520
Location: Norway

27 Jan 2009, 2:46 pm

elderwanda wrote:
I think taking the small one is generally the decent thing to do.

This reminds me of a scene in "The Joy Luck Club" (the movie, but possibly the book, too). There is a family, mostly made of young women, and they are sharing a meal. They pass around a dish full of something, like fish, and each take one. Later on, one of the young ladies' mother said, and I paraphrase:

"I notice you chose the smallest, worst-looking fish, and left the nicest ones for the others. Everyone else chose the biggest, best one they could find, and were thinking only of themselves. But you are different. You chose the worst quality fish, because you have the best quality heart."

Of course, some unscrupulous people will take advantage of a person who always chooses the worst-quality for themselves, because if they want the best, all they have to do is offer you the first choice. So, if you feel like you're with someone who is like that, you can say, "Oh, thank you so much for giving me first choice. I think I'll take this nice big one, if you don't mind! *chomp!*"

That was a good one. I would not bothered if I new someone was an egoistic bastard. I think some of the things we was brought up to, stick to us for the rest of our lives


_________________
I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez


akaRiley
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 4 Sep 2015
Age: 14
Posts: 13
Location: Georgia

23 Aug 2018, 2:47 pm

The one with the screen on it.


_________________
--------------------------------------------------------
Greater minds think alone.
If you ever feel like you're worthless, remember that a case was made for the Nokia Brick.


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 103,418
Location: Hanging out with my fellow Sweet Peas at Stalag 13

23 Aug 2018, 10:14 pm

I'd choose the big apple because I have a big stomach and appetite. I'd leave behind a bottle of Coke, though.


_________________
Schultz

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


Serpentine
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 2 Aug 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 167

24 Aug 2018, 12:37 am

Trying not to overthink it, I would go for the big apple. I've gotten--or allowed myself--only the small apple for most of my life. I hated myself and didn't think I deserved any better. Now I'm getting over that and yes... this time I'm finally going to grab the big one. Hooray!

Assuming that the big one is of the same quality, taste and not riddled with worms, of course (but that's what I mean by overthinking it). :mrgreen:


_________________
"That isn't damage. It's proof of what you can survive."

- Joanne M. Harris, The Testament of Loki


Skilpadde
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,788
Location: Galar

24 Aug 2018, 2:21 am

Seeing the title, I thought this was about cities. I was wondering which city the small apple was!

As a kid, there was no way I wouldn't have taken the big apple (unless it was something I didn't want, or something on it I didn't like). I looked out for myself when given a choice (although I might have wondered what the catch was), but I've always been bad at getting into it when it's a free for all frenzy.

Now it could go either way, depending on what it was, and who I was with. With loved ones, I always want to share equally, with strangers or other people I'm indifferent to or even dislike, I have no problem being selfish. In a store, I would pick the best (best looking/ biggest/ whatever) product, I don't care that someone else ends up with a lesser product.
Under some circumstances (like having to face them again, and caring about not looking like douche, or even just not wanting to get off on the wrong foot) I would feel awkward taking the biggest, best thing (unless it was just too good to pass up), but that is to make my life easier in the long run.
If I don't want it or am indifferent, then I'll pick the smallest.


_________________
"And the turtles, of course...all the turtles are free, as turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be." -Dr. Seuss


The tiger and the lion may be more powerful....

...but the Wolf does not perform in the circus.