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Greyhound
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28 Jan 2009, 5:34 pm

I don't fit the criteria for Asperger syndrome and I certainly do not have 'qualitative impairment' but I do feel as if my traits of Asperger syndrome are very gradually worsening and have been doing so for a while.

I can't find a reason for this. Has anyone else experienced/is anyone else experiencing anything similar/the same thing?


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RoisinDubh
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28 Jan 2009, 5:44 pm

Are you under a lot of stress? I had a lot of control over my Aspie-ness for a while, both the traits people can see, and those they can't, but lately have been VERY stressed, and over the past few months, they've all been rearing their ugly heads again, and HOW!



KingdomOfRats
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28 Jan 2009, 6:07 pm

Greyhound,
Anbuend wrote a big article on autism and as getting worse,and its really good,will have a look for it now,as am know where to find it.


[Edit]
http://www.autistics.org/library/more-autistic.html


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Greyhound
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28 Jan 2009, 6:38 pm

Wow, thank you KingdomOfRats - that's very detailed. I must go to bed now, but I will read more of it tomorrow. Thnk you :)


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Callista
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28 Jan 2009, 8:08 pm

Quote:
Prolonged functioning in emergency mode can result in loss of skills and burnout.
This is exactly what happened to me... I became practically non-functional. It would take me at least two paragraphs to explain it, and she says it in one sentence. Can you say "gifted writer"?

But yeah, that's a very good article. I was going to recommend it myself!


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KazigluBey
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28 Jan 2009, 10:03 pm

I appreciate that article and the person who posted it!!

FTA:

"It is very common for people to appear more overtly autistic when first learning about autism."


I told my wife just the other night I felt like AS was getting worse and it was starting to get to me. Whew!! At least I am finding that it's common and can soothe my edgy nerves a bit.



pensieve
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28 Jan 2009, 10:20 pm

After I was diagnosed I felt like my meltdowns and sensory issues were getting worse. I just think now I am more aware of it, especially now that I can put a name on certain things I do or experience.
It still happens too, and it just shuts me down or I become a very cranky person. Like today I was meant to meet someone, but they were really late so I became very irritated and non verbal.



KazigluBey
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28 Jan 2009, 10:27 pm

pensieve wrote:
I just think now I am more aware of it, especially now that I can put a name on certain things I do or experience.


I'm starting to wonder if indeed, ignorance is truly bliss. :lol:



pensieve
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28 Jan 2009, 10:32 pm

KazigluBey wrote:
pensieve wrote:
I just think now I am more aware of it, especially now that I can put a name on certain things I do or experience.


I'm starting to wonder if indeed, ignorance is truly bliss. :lol:


I have no doubt in my mind that it is. As a child I had no idea about anything. I barely spoke or interacted with people, nor did I independently do things on my own or travel far from home alone. I was far more happier back then, despite not getting to experience new things.



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28 Jan 2009, 10:44 pm

I have to agree with pensieve, I think we can become more aware of our traits---especially after a diagnosis. Since I was diagnosed last November, I have really noticed things about me. I am more aware of my social awkwardness. I find all my narrow interests truly unusual now (in intesity that is). I have even caught myself rocking lately---I hadn't noticed that before, but I'm sure I did it because it feels so natural to do it. I am now quite aware of my pacing the floors---I have always done that but just didn't pay much attention to it until now. I have now become quite aware of my eye contact issues that I have always had. I notice more my thumb popping stim that has irritated my wife ever since we have known each other. I have realized that I self-harm through skin picking on my finger (until it bleeds---been doing that so long that it is callused from years of this practice). Even though I am now very much aware of my Asperger's traits, I am glad I was diagnosed. My therapist has helped me with issues regarding my wife and sons. My wife says it's one of the best things that has happened to us. But yet, I think my wife and I are much more aware of my traits---though I've always had them.



pensieve
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28 Jan 2009, 10:54 pm

After realizing that I can block out or not be bothered by sensory information. But if I'm in a very emotional state it becomes hard to. Meltdowns are now very hard to control, even though I have experienced them most of my life. I can now recall my few violent meltdowns that my sister was the victim of. I used to grab her wrists as though I was trying to stop myself from hitting her. This was back when I didn't know anything about autism. I once did attack her but she provoked me by always making fun of me being different and not having any friends.
I get really angry now. I just hope the violent meltdowns do not come back. I amazed that I have such good control in such an emotive state.



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28 Jan 2009, 11:38 pm

KazigluBey wrote:
I'm starting to wonder if indeed, ignorance is truly bliss. :lol:


not for me; I have been okay....

and yes. Stress or lack of slep or other stuff WILL lower your functioning level.....had to wake up earlier today and I had a hard time getting up in a certain time, hearing/listening to people, movign slowly, etc...granted famy mother was messing with me in various ways but still....

reminded me of the past few years, when I was in HS...lowered functioning early in day.


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28 Jan 2009, 11:49 pm

Being diagnosed recently, I have become acutely aware of many of my symptoms, such as I walk on the balls of my feet when not wearing shoes (and I'm 36). There are many things I knew I did but just thought they were personal quirks... now I know. When I first read a number of symptoms and descriptions about AS it really blew me away how familiar it all was. There was really no mistaking it, but oddly, no one around me ever had any idea.

One the positive side, I think I have come to accept the way I think more, becuase for me at least there are some mental benefits. They don't freak me out as much as they used to so I don't try to sequester them away (for example, I don't worry as much that I will devolve into a schizophrenic like in that movie "A Beautiful Mind."). So far, the acceptance is starting to become a boon. For example, I went out with a bunch of people at work and remembered what everyone ordered in detail, so I was able to settle everyone's bill without asking any questions. This was mostly possible becuase I didn't worry as much about being social, so mind mind focused on other details, and quite well. I hope I can keep that going.

[edit] Oh yeah, and I've also been able to remember phone numbers on the first try recently (my brother has always been able to do this). In some ways, I wish I knew a long time ago.



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29 Jan 2009, 12:25 am

Greyhound wrote:
Has anyone else experienced/is anyone else experiencing anything similar/the same thing?

Yes. I am experiencing it currently. Sort of.

The thing is, I had no idea about Asperger's until about two months ago. When I suddenly saw how it explained my entire life, I knew that I had it.

Since then, I feel as if the traits and and symptoms have been getting worse by the day.
But I think that is because every day I am coming to a deeper understanding of AS and seeing more and more examples of it in my daily life. So it feels like the traits are getting worse.

I'm just waking up to what was already there.


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Tahitiii
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29 Jan 2009, 1:43 am

Good link from Anbuend.

The analogy at the end reminds me of a feeling I've had for years, long before I heard of Asperger's.

I feel like I have been "crab-walking" through life.

(Crab-walking was a dumb little game we played when I was a kid, back in the stone age. Ok, you sit with your feet flat on the ground in front of you. Put your arms up, over your head and back, so that your palms are flat on the ground, fingers pointing toward you. Now you lift your butt at least a foot off the ground. And you walk around like that, on all fours. Don't try this at home if you're not a little kid.)

I feel like I'm from somewhere else. I don't mind hanging with you earthlings. It's just that this crab-walking thing doesn't work for me as well as it works for you guys. I'm just not built for the stuff you do. I'll tag along for as long as I can and try to keep up. I'm not trying to be stubborn or uncooperative. When I hit a wall and can't do any more, it's because I really can't. I go along and go along and try not to whine too much. Just don't ask me to dance.