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oddballdeviant
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28 Jan 2009, 6:50 pm

I love to party. I can't express this enough. I love clubs, and I love parties. Not meat-market clubs where the obvious point is for Boy A to grind against Girl B and Guy C, though that can be a part of it, but just parties and clubs that are full of awesome music, great alcohol and fun... great fun with other people.

I really enjoy going to parties... but being in a large group of people is intimidating... to no end. I end up being the guy who came alone, who is sitting down and drinking by himself. Who, when talking to people has the worst and most awkward conversations. So I end up hiding in a room panicking... but I still love being there. The alcohol(amongst other things sometimes) helps... it takes SOME of the inhibitions away... and dealing with people who are under the influence of... something... is better, their attention span is lessened and they can barely tell that there's something just not quite right about me the way most sober people do.

I dunno... anyone have similar feelings towards parties and partying?



zghost
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28 Jan 2009, 7:27 pm

I get it. I used to be that way, but too much "been there done that" now. I still go out sometimes, but not that often anymore.



Space
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29 Jan 2009, 8:12 pm

oddballdeviant wrote:
I really enjoy going to parties... but being in a large group of people is intimidating... to no end. I end up being the guy who came alone, who is sitting down and drinking by himself. Who, when talking to people has the worst and most awkward conversations. So I end up hiding in a room panicking...

Yes, this is what I did... The thing about boozing/partying is, it may get your foot in the door, but after that your AS keeps things from progressing any further. I found that yes, when I am drunk I am much less nervous around people. The problems happened because I always got too drunk, and my AS was even more noticeable (ie, I would get up in people's faces loudly introducing myself and trying to be social, not noticing how awkward I seemed to others and how people were put off by this). I don't drink or party anymore... Like was said, been there, done that.



gina-ghettoprincess
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29 Jan 2009, 8:19 pm

I would go to parties like that if people invited me to them. But people don't give me enough of a chance for them to realise that I'm not as dorky as everyone thinks I am.


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v0lume
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29 Jan 2009, 10:11 pm

Space wrote:
oddballdeviant wrote:
I really enjoy going to parties... but being in a large group of people is intimidating... to no end. I end up being the guy who came alone, who is sitting down and drinking by himself. Who, when talking to people has the worst and most awkward conversations. So I end up hiding in a room panicking...

Yes, this is what I did... The thing about boozing/partying is, it may get your foot in the door, but after that your AS keeps things from progressing any further. I found that yes, when I am drunk I am much less nervous around people. The problems happened because I always got too drunk, and my AS was even more noticeable (ie, I would get up in people's faces loudly introducing myself and trying to be social, not noticing how awkward I seemed to others and how people were put off by this). I don't drink or party anymore... Like was said, been there, done that.


Smoke a lot of weed, get really drunk, then pass out on the floor. Usually that's acceptible in these kinds of parties, so you can still think you had a good time with people without humiliating yourself. It's something I learned when I was living in Washington. I tried talking to this girl when I was drunk, and even when I was drunk I realized how much I was putting her off. She knew I was drunk too. So, I went all out, passed out, and became the positive talk of the party the next morning when I woke up.

Seriously, as aspies, all we have is each other. Living in an NT world is hopeless if you think you will be able to successfully mingle with "normal" people. If you can, then you are only borderline aspie. If we are going to feel good about going to parties, we should get together somehow and throw our own parties so we can be accepting of eachother and not worry about getting embarrassed beyond what we can handle as usual. Maybe there should be a section in the forum for local get-togethers, or something of the sort. That would be cool. I mean, besides a little "meet up thread". You know?
We should have a thread for each state, if your from the US and so on.



Space
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29 Jan 2009, 11:25 pm

v0lume wrote:
Seriously, as aspies, all we have is each other. Living in an NT world is hopeless if you think you will be able to successfully mingle with "normal" people. If you can, then you are only borderline aspie. If we are going to feel good about going to parties, we should get together somehow and throw our own parties so we can be accepting of eachother and not worry about getting embarrassed beyond what we can handle as usual. Maybe there should be a section in the forum for local get-togethers, or something of the sort. That would be cool. I mean, besides a little "meet up thread". You know?
We should have a thread for each state, if your from the US and so on.

Hmm I agree. It would be fun to go to a party with like minded AS'ers.



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30 Jan 2009, 1:49 am

It's not that I'm uncomfortable at those kind of things, but rather, extremely bored. There's just nothing to do that interests me.



Heartcooksbrain
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30 Jan 2009, 4:19 am

I only party with close friends, and their close friends. It is much easier to talk to someone you don't know if your friend says they're okay. For me anyways..



kahlua
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30 Jan 2009, 5:09 am

I hate parties..

I never know what to say, what to do, how to hold my hands so I don't look awkward..

Not sure how to leave politely, etc.

I don't talk about random stuff.gossip, clothes, tv shows etc.

I find talking to older adults (40's) much easier. (Im 29)



Jsmitheh
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30 Jan 2009, 11:16 am

Space wrote:
Yes, this is what I did... The thing about boozing/partying is, it may get your foot in the door, but after that your AS keeps things from progressing any further. I found that yes, when I am drunk I am much less nervous around people. The problems happened because I always got too drunk, and my AS was even more noticeable (ie, I would get up in people's faces loudly introducing myself and trying to be social, not noticing how awkward I seemed to others and how people were put off by this). I don't drink or party anymore... Like was said, been there, done that.


Exactly. When I'm sober I'm shy because I don't want to be seen doing anything weird, but when I'm drunk I'm not shy at all and I only do/say weird things.



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30 Jan 2009, 1:09 pm

I love parties, especially discos because I love dancing like a mad woman. and believe it or not the louder the music the better because I like it when my chest vibrates when it's loud it's fun


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30 Jan 2009, 1:17 pm

i used to like big parties, but i knew everyone there so it was easier. i haven't been very social lately so i almost feel like a bit of an outcast when i show up to parties where my old acquaintances go so it's not nearly as fun. i'm in engineering, so a lot of people have at least some degree of social ineptitude and it makes it easier to be accepted if you aren't exactly normal, although not completely effortless and i do definitely still have difficulties, they're just generally more accepting of people with worse than average social skills.

also, the parties were usually pretty fun. you could usually find someone with something interesting to say, so it wasn't all about "mingling" and making small talk, you could find an intelligent discussion and hang out there. there were also usually drinking games, which is fun and is a fun activity that doesn't require social skills to participate. the most difficult thing about parties, i find, is when there isn't anything to detract attention from your social ineptitude, like a game or some other activity, so you end up getting anxious and might not have as much fun.

i find that alcohol has kind of lost its allure now. i don't find it as fun as i used to and don't really look forward to drinking as much as i used to. it's still fun, but sometimes i get bored with it.



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30 Jan 2009, 4:48 pm

Heartcooksbrain wrote:
I only party with close friends, and their close friends. It is much easier to talk to someone you don't know if your friend says they're okay. For me anyways..


Same here most of the time.



beef_bourito
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31 Jan 2009, 8:56 am

HowlingMad1992 wrote:
Heartcooksbrain wrote:
I only party with close friends, and their close friends. It is much easier to talk to someone you don't know if your friend says they're okay. For me anyways..


Same here most of the time.
+1 to this, i just went to a party last night, my roommate's birthday, we went to a club after and i knew just about nobody. wasn't really fun, despite the very large number of very attractive girls and my high blood alcohol content.



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31 Jan 2009, 10:43 am

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
I would go to parties like that if people invited me to them. But people don't give me enough of a chance for them to realise that I'm not as dorky as everyone thinks I am.


Hi-Five =D


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31 Jan 2009, 12:25 pm

I don't even like parties with my closest friends. They think I'm being awkward just sitting down, but I just HATE listening to mainstream music(or in there case...ABBA...), and I can't stand the lights and such.
The last big party I went to I just sat down and sipped some coke for the 2 hours or so, and then went outside.
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