Smalltalk is boring

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I use people small talking about common crap to fall asleep to.

Wat up?

Just checking in on the pea guy.

According to the topic, your reply was appropriate, rich and taste full.
you get a 3 out of possible 4,
just lacked, slightly in content.

keep up the solid work, i'm watching you. So far moderatly impressive.

How very oberservant of you, my dear stalker.

You've got the job.

Two week probationary, though.
Prove yourself and you can be full time, which includes a comprehensive welfare package
including:
medical/Dental
pension
prescription
Vacation

and more.

Welcome.

I think this is about right, for me anyway, as an NT. When you have a chance encounter with someone you know, it's a way to catch up with what's going on in their lives (very important to NT's in general I think) and share that information they may want about yours (and that you want to share.)

It also is a way without getting into anything substantial to say -- "hey, it's you! Im happy to see you or talk with you because I like you." In the case of online small talk, greeting someone with 'what's up' or whatever is just a way of acknowledging them, telling them you appreciate them and you are thinking about them, or want to engage in conversation with them.

I've had a hard time figuring out how to start conversations with my BF withOUT small talk, cuz he doesn't do it. We talk every night, and often there are large times when neither of us talk ... that's okay with me, I just like 'being' with him. I often start by asking him how his day was -- first because I really want to know the answer, and I know it will allow him to introduce whatever topic is on his mind. Of course he NEVER asks me something like that, but I don't take it personally...it's just his way.

Yeah, that's the way I see it - just a way to initiate conversation and "catch up", or a way to get to know someone without getting too personal. I think that most NTs find small talk to be rather boring as well, but they just see it as a necessity for the reasons I mentioned above. I actually have to agree with that stance - I think it's awkward to start a conversation by immediately talking about something very personal, deep, complicated, or whatever. Maybe I've just been corrupted by those darn NTs...

Wait ... Did I just read that right?

*rubs eyes*

You DON'T take it personally? Holy-- Are you really an NT, or is this a cruel joke?

And more importantly, do you have any sisters @ 25 years old?

The subject of asking how one's day is makes me think of my current stepdad training me, as an adult (starting when I was about 19 and in college) to reciprocate the "How are you?" question instead of just answering "Fine" and getting it over with. Or occasionally if there's more I want to say, I'll say it. His training method is/was to say, with some tension in his voice, "I'm fine, thank you." I find that a bit annoying...nobody else I'd noticed ever seemed to care or ever tried to teach me that, or if they did care they never let me know, but I will reciprocate "How are you?" with him anyway only 'cause he wants it. I'm not sure if I do it with others...I could see myself reciprocating "How are you?" with my mother, who's always been frustrated with my lack of sociability, but probably not with my sisters even though I'm close to them because they've pretty much accepted me as I am.

I don't think I really care about being asked how I am or how my day was; never thought much of it. People do it, and it's just like, whatever, it's just a way to initiate conversation. I may or may not say much of anything about how my day was...depends on what I feel like. Most of the time I seem to be pretty unreflective about social stuff. I just let it happen.

And I'm NT.

Good for you. Do you want a medal?

What is it with people here needing to highlight whether they are NT or not? Just because you're wired differently or have some difficulties, it doesn't change the fact the we are all homo-sapiens.

I've got no qualms with you, just this labelling nonsense.

Because this is a site that highlights that difference. When someone asks a question about how others with AS react to certain things, for example, it's helpful to know that someone is NT when they answer.

You might consider asking questions like these without the nasty first two remarks, too.

Indeed...I didn't want a medal. I just wanted to specify so that people can put the information I provided in the context of neurological variation, and see evidence that there are plenty of exceptions to and variations upon the rules of behavior and emotional response even among those Homo sapiens sapiens who happen to lack certain types of neurological quirks that most of the people here have.

On second thought, I think I kind of did want a medal...appreciation for not being a stereotype would have been welcome. But, I won't reject Peaguy's response either...fair enough, as I'm being stereotypical enough by promoting those handy labels that people often use so they don't have to think. But I did have the excuse there of putting things in the neurological context upon which this board was based, and not purposely trying to be divisive. Quite the opposite - trying to show that in some ways I might not be all that different from some of you, and that the labels don't tell you much about a person.

Now can I have a medal?

I would, but that would require caring what other people think on my part.

It is quite possible to not really care what other people think without being unpleasant / rude.

I generally do not care what other people think of me, but I'm still aware that my actions and words will have an affect on other people, just as others' actions and words have an affect on me.

If I want people to feel bad I can act rudely. If I don't want to make people feel bad, I am polite.

This doesn't mean I want people to think "Oh, that Robin, he's such a polite person" I don't care about that. I just don't want to cause needless upset.

Robin

Small talk to Me is something I wonder about. If the small talk has imformation that I like I don't mind it then.