How was it for you...the beginning ?

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Its pretty clear from tuns of tests and reading,here and around,I'm an Aspie,also maybe bipolar,
and I want to know about your first days or weeks.

-Past coming sharply into focus,traits have new light shed on,feeling relief, and a little fear.No one in my family knows,
I doubt I'll even try to tell them.

My I.Q. tests are high,but any Qs with "Three cows have strips,six have spots.." lose me.

Hell,why don't you guys help me self-diagnose ?
-It could be a trip,but I bet my money on getting better results here than most places,
-formal Dx,not an option-too far from any one who would know anything about it.
'Cept you guys...

Let the fun begin.....
.
NB I don't take offense easily,so please say what you think.

When I wondered about whether I was autistic or not, I had a close look at the actual criteria.

i felt crap .. still do i guess .. i found out when i was 33 2 years ago.

I was going through my second bout of having problems with anxiety and panic attacks and such with work in 5 years and I felt crap that I had AS cause it meant i was gonna be stuck dealing with this and there was no cure.

Then there are the what ifs .. always thinking back in the past about if i knew before what would have changed what choices would have been different.

I guess i am better off than some here i managed to struggle through all the anxiety to keep a job down, a house , a wife etc etc

on the surface normal

underneath definitely not

I just learned to act how ppl want me to over the 33 years before i was diagnosed

Also unofficially, self-diagnosed.

At first (age 39) lots of denial. For one thing, I refuse to be one of those hypochondriacs who thinks I can diagnose myself off WebMD and comes up with all kinds of medical excuses for why-the-world-should-pamper-me.

However, the more I read about AS, the more I said, "That can't possibly be me," the more it fit. Got with an AS support group and it's pretty much confirmed; I'm one of them. Same with this site. As soon as I start to doubt the AS in me again, I'll read a thread or something and say, "Man! I thought I was the only one who went through that!" Was also on poor-person's insurance for a while and a shrink unofficially confirmed it.

Initially; 95% of the frustrations in my interacting-with-people life made sense. No wonder I lost that one job! No wonder that other job is so perfect for me! No wonder my coworkers all thought it was weird when I _____!

That was 2 years ago. No longer on poor-person's insurance and it's horribly frustrating at times. I come home from work every day with a dozen questions in my head; "Is this just me or is it an NT-AS thing?" But on the flip side, it's helped immensely in knowing what kinds of jobs I should be going for, which I should be avoiding, how better to communicate at work, how better to communicate with friends and family.

As something of an outlet, something of DIY therapy, I'm working on writing a book about the whole thing. Who knows, it might even see the light of day soon.

Good luck!

- Jo

It was 13 years ago, so I don't remember.

After I was diagnosed only 3 years ago, it explained so much of all the oddities in my past. For me, I had to get an official diagnoses because for years I had been taken to one doctor after another since I was 13.

There are no support groups or much at all on Aspergers except the internet. I was shocked there was actually a support site for it and found I related very well with members here. In fact, I never knew how to explain about my sensativity issues until I read other threads about it such as light, sound, and touch. I had many issues with these factors but never knew exactly what "it" was or why I felt the way I did.

I still don't like to talk about it to other people unless they need to know or I feel comfortable enough around them. Not many people seem to know what it is whenever I bring it up except my doctor. So I sometimes worry about how they'll percieve me when I use the word autism. Now I know that sounds a bit rude but some people are very ignorant as to what autism looks like...and then you have these people who think aspergers is something people make up to get sympathy for all their social problems. That's one stereotype that really irks me. If only people actually could be in eachother's shoes....

Anyway, I've come to accept this but at times..it's hard. I think my attitude before knowing I had aspergers was hope that I could change my "strange" ways. It really explained a lot of why people couldn't find anything wrong with me but knew there was something wrong with me. The wrong part I think was hard to identify until I got older and wrote down what I struggled with such as friendships and relationships, high test scores in some areas of academics low ones in others, physical clumsiness, sensativity to sound and light, trouble in the everyday vernacular way of speaking...I tried very hard to talk like my peers, I even went as far as to write what they'd say in small talk and try to memorize some of it so I'd know what to say in small talk. It kind of worked but I still had trouble grasping that socialization that is common among peers..it was very frustrating.

Sora.
That list is helpful,I had only glanced thro' it,not taken it point by point until now.
So much of what I suffer from has been attributed to other causes,its hard to pull it all apart and see into the core issues.

For example,sensitivity to lights and noises was put down to very bad measles as a child,freak outs to hormones,more recently menopause,less recently bad reactions to the contraceptive pill.(Oversensitivity to almost all medications)

My social awkwardness and avoidance issues were attributed to being raised on my own,off in the country,with older,odd parents.As was my few ritualistic tendencies,dish washing,etc is hard for me.

Moriath,
I know what you mean about faking to please people,tried some really lame interests out- to fit i-,but felt so out of place,even tho' it makes others happy,its really weird to try to be someone else,-I just try to keep it wrapped,in unsympathetic company.
Know I'm lucky to have married and had two kids-both of whom have some traces,but very mild-and to be in a less "Exposed" environment,basically having lived an alternative lifestyle,all my life.

JoJerome,
I'm also writing,seems like creative outlets are the way to go,as there are often gifts in the area,and you can be a bit odd as any kind of artist,and its okay with the world !

MissConstrue,
Agree its hard to use the word Autism,so many pre-concieved ideas out there-You are right,people can be jerks about it !


Right now,see the reasons why my past was as it was,may be able to cope better,knowing,and am glad no one had me committed during freak outs.A lot to be thankful for,when I think how hard it COULD have been.
Reading heavily,seeing more that fits,every day,guess I'll never get diagnosed,but its enough to know its understood,at least on here,and to drop by to ask questions and suggest any ideas which help me,and may be good for others...oh,...thats a symptom,too !

Thanks Tim,and all,-hope I get a lot of chances to make friends and learn,tried the chat room,last night,very good when feeling out of things,for a break from "normal" life.

A few tools that I've tried with some success,over the years are-

Astrology,=self analysis thro' it has been revealing of strengths and weaknesses,studied it,for a while,like how it relates to a person,many fakes and leaches in the biz,but def. something to look at ,if so inclined.

Traditional Chinese Medicine,has tools for calming down the freak outs,much easier on the body than tranks,but can be expensive,so I've sought out student clinics in teaching colleges,and got good results.I can do some acupuncture for myself,but only VERY short needles are safe without training,in non-body,ie hand,foot,ear points.
(Su-Jok is very good,a bit hard,but worth it),"Heart-Fire" meds are VERY good with me,taken long term,
prevents blowing up.


I love Bach Flower rescue remedy for everything,use it on animals,too,and think it kinda "resets" me when I'm down or hyper.

Bulletproof way to diagnose (well, sort of):

How's your visual acuity?

Until the saliva test comes out, that's really the most reliable method. Everything else is a guessing game.

MizLiz,
-its weird,last 2 years,I went far-sighted,but its comes and goes with my intestinal problems..and tiredness.nuff said.

Always had better than av. sight-very observant,but can totally miss everything when taking photos...blissfully unaware of anything but my subject.

For me,its not wannabe,or need to know-Aspergers explains so much-I'm comfortable saying,
"I'm pretty sure thats me",and using what I learn to deal better.

I'd like to hear more about this..if you don't mind....

Ah. If you wear glasses, put them on before the test.

But intestinal problems? Interesting. This is kind of controversial, but a lot of studies have shown that people with AS/autism/related conditions have some digestive problems and some people suggest that symptoms can be improved by avoiding casein and wheat gluten.

I'm now curious if the visual acuity is a "symptom".

I'll look at poss. food allergies,thanks...no glasses needed,right now,as less time to read,new work started.

Where is the V.A. test...do you have a link ? oh,sorry,missed that,trying it right now.

I'll Google in the meantime...aha,its pretty complex,the download test..and will have to re callibrate my monitor to take it.

I'll get back to you,on that,thank you.