I find I am often too self conscious of my body image to be comfortable in public places. I often feel (for no particular reason) that people are judging me for the way I dress, act, and carry myself. Although I am admittedly a little odd, I know that most of these people couldn't care less about me and probably don't even have an opinion; nevertheless, I often feel panicked or misinterpret intentions as being hostile when uncomfortable. There was a kid on my bus, in sixth grade, who had an exaggerated version of this outlook, due to a sever case of autism with accompanying mental retardation. I remember him always asking, "Do you hate me? Do you hate me...?" over and over, to everyone he met. I find myself internally voicing the same question. Being a college student, I recently find it difficult to use public restroom/ wash facilities. I had this problem in high school, but managed it by just going at home. Even if i have the urge to go, I can't seem to use a restroom if there are other people in close proximity/ a general vicinity. I stay up late to use the bathroom so no one notices. I find I am self conscious when using the shower or facilities when someone is even outside the door. It seems like I have a "comfort level" for a bathroom that I subconsciously rate it for use. Does anyone else seem to have this problem/ a problem of a similar nature?
09 Feb 2009, 6:41 pm
