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Sallamandrina
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12 Feb 2009, 9:34 am

People's intentions were never that important to me - at least not as important as the result: their actions. I tend to be harsh when someone causes pain or trouble with the best intentions, but I don't give a damn if you mean harm without actually doing it.

Is this an aspie thing? Is it caused by the lack of empathy?

Anybody else feels this way?


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Aleph0
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12 Feb 2009, 9:53 am

I agree Sallamandrina,
and it has nothing to do with empathy,
it's a rational thing, and Nt's are not...



Sora
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12 Feb 2009, 10:58 am

I'm exactly the other way!

Actions mean little to me. But intentions and unspoken thoughts can really put me on the edge.

I know it is due to my own autism because the mere idea of that something is A) not true or B) the fact that pople are thinking on their own are a source of meltdowns.


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Sallamandrina
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12 Feb 2009, 11:28 am

Sora wrote:
I know it is due to my own autism because the mere idea of that something is A) not true or B) the fact that pople are thinking on their own are a source of meltdowns.


I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean. I was referring to things like people hitting their dog with the intention to discipline it; beside this being ignorant, I don't see how their (presumably good) intentions can excuse their behavior. Or maybe someone saying something nasty with the intention to hurt me, while their comment might help me identify a bad habit I wasn't aware of. I tend to appreciate the input and not care that the intention was nasty.


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Sora
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12 Feb 2009, 11:54 am

Sallamandrina wrote:
Sora wrote:
I know it is due to my own autism because the mere idea of that something is A) not true or B) the fact that pople are thinking on their own are a source of meltdowns.


I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean. I was referring to things like people hitting their dog with the intention to discipline it; beside this being ignorant, I don't see how their (presumably good) intentions can excuse their behavior.


I don't think that's a good example. To discipline another is just an abstract concept and would never result in an action if not other intentions such as how to administer disciplinary actions would follow.

Sallamandrina wrote:
Or maybe someone saying something nasty with the intention to hurt me, while their comment might help me identify a bad habit I wasn't aware of. I tend to appreciate the input and not care that the intention was nasty.


I would be bothered greatly by it.

It would most likely be not true and if it was true what they say about me, it would bother me that they would think anything of me. I don't want people to think anything at all.


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Sallamandrina
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12 Feb 2009, 12:11 pm

So other people's thoughts are a source of stress and anxiety for you. It happens to me occasionally, but to constantly worry about something I have no control over would be the very image of hell.


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12 Feb 2009, 12:16 pm

A wise man once said, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

What? There aren't enough bad intentions to provide enough paving material?

Intentions are meaningless. It's the results that count.


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Sora
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12 Feb 2009, 12:27 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:
So other people's thoughts are a source of stress and anxiety for you. It happens to me occasionally, but to constantly worry about something I have no control over would be the very image of hell.


I try to ignore it by trying to influence what people think. That works for me usually. I also very often forget that people are thinking anything. It's hard to remember that for me, although it sounds easy. It's not anxiety I feel though, but anger and at worst I absolutely snap.


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rivergoat
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12 Feb 2009, 1:58 pm

I guess I can be considered gullible or naive because I tend to believe the best of people. It was a long long time before I realized that people lied or would take advantage of me. I still tend to think of negative actions by people as being done with 'not-negative' intentions, if you get my meaning.

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