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Paddling a child with AS Corporal punishment

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HaleLocke
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27 Feb 2009, 9:11 pm

Catster2 wrote:
I am STRONGLY against smacking or ANY kind of child physical "discipline". as a child I was spanked with a wooden spoon and a hairbrush often in anger and it has left me fearful and anxious as well as angry. You cannot smack your wife or husband because they do something you dont like and children deserve MORE protection not less. Smacking/spanking just leasds to worse behaviour. Kids need to be given time out or have their privileges taken away. A smack on the bum does do people harm and breeds violence. It is banned in 25 countries around the world for a reason and three more have legislation in place and it is time Australia joined them. In Australia it is banned in schools and parents are strongly discouraged from doing so (only about 20% do). I agree with those who say spanking an aspie is worse for me it has made my fear of touch much worse. I also agree that those who said it did" no harm" were at least slightly damaged.


Amen to that!


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HaleLocke
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27 Feb 2009, 9:14 pm

Padium wrote:
Problem is with ASDers, spankings can cause meltdowns, did it to me almost every time. If a person goes into a meltdown from a punishment it won't be effective. People need to correct the behaviour, not punish it. Teach the child what they did is wrong, and explain to them not to do it again, and couple it with something like an appropriatly lengthed time out, or grounding for an also appropriatly lengthed time with an item that is reasonable.


See, that was my problem, everytime I got a spanking, I would get a meltdown.

I think parents who belive in spanking should just avoid having children altogether as they are not capable of raising a child.


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HaleLocke
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27 Feb 2009, 9:17 pm

Callista wrote:
Yeah, but most parents who give it don't like it. It's not pedophilia in the vast majority of cases; nor is it usually abuse. However, many abusive parents call their abuse "discipline"...

That said, I don't agree with corporal punishment for most Aspies because we tend to have odd pain sensation--too much, too little, or processed in a way that's different from the average kid's.

I actually used to hit myself with more force than used in the average paddling, mostly because it felt... not good exactly, but not bad, either. It's identifiable as pain, but doesn't have the negative reaction to it. Needless to say, spankings weren't frightening because they hurt; the only thing I got out of them was the fear of being restrained. And that means being made to feel utterly helpless... Nobody should be made to feel that way; discipline is meant to help you learn to control yourself, not to make you feel like you can't control anything.

On the other hand, what if you had a hypersensitive child?... I can see, realistically, how it might be literally torture--and not understood to be torture because the child was assumed to be trying to get out of it or being a cry baby.


I used to cut, bruise, bang, and try to drown myself after getting a spanking.....thank goodness for therapy. Because what is so wrong with me that I needed to get hit? If I get hit by my parents, I may as well burn to death. thats equal to spanking a child.


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HaleLocke
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27 Feb 2009, 9:19 pm

HaleLocke wrote:
Callista wrote:
Yeah, but most parents who give it don't like it. It's not pedophilia in the vast majority of cases; nor is it usually abuse. However, many abusive parents call their abuse "discipline"...

That said, I don't agree with corporal punishment for most Aspies because we tend to have odd pain sensation--too much, too little, or processed in a way that's different from the average kid's.

I actually used to hit myself with more force than used in the average paddling, mostly because it felt... not good exactly, but not bad, either. It's identifiable as pain, but doesn't have the negative reaction to it. Needless to say, spankings weren't frightening because they hurt; the only thing I got out of them was the fear of being restrained. And that means being made to feel utterly helpless... Nobody should be made to feel that way; discipline is meant to help you learn to control yourself, not to make you feel like you can't control anything.

On the other hand, what if you had a hypersensitive child?... I can see, realistically, how it might be literally torture--and not understood to be torture because the child was assumed to be trying to get out of it or being a cry baby.


I used to cut, bruise, bang, and try to drown myself after getting a spanking.....thank goodness for therapy. Because what is so wrong with me that I needed to get hit? If I get hit by my parents, I may as well burn to death. thats equal to spanking a child.


Not to be racist, but I noticed that black people are notorious for spanking their kids. thats all they can think to do for whatever odd reason. I'm not surprised when I hear of black kids being abused.


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27 Feb 2009, 10:26 pm

gramirez wrote:
Tahitiii wrote:
Positive Discipline
http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/cont ... pline.html

I have no idea what to think about that, other than that's why there are so many horrible little children these days. Whoever wrote that article needs to be shot.

Hear, hear! Reading that muck made me gag. All that namby-pamby drivel has destroyed society.



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27 Feb 2009, 10:47 pm

I'm not in favor of corporal punishment; however, I will say that those lessons I learned as a child that way... they stayed with me. It can easily be abused, but it is not an innately evil or bad thing. In the animal kingdom, those incidents serve to teach and develop skills... it is not hard to imagine that losing yet another manner of development through paranoia, excess, excuse and abuse could affect how people learn, how they behave, how they interrelate with each other or the world around them.


M.


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27 Feb 2009, 10:52 pm

I totally disagree with hitting children. Get this...neighbors who know how I feel about this subject (and they completely disagree with me which, to me, is a shame) will see me and if their child is doing something they don't like they will hit him or her right in front of me knowing I really disapprove of it. It's like they are saying "It's my right and I don't care what you think and what you consider the right way to raise kids I am going to do this and no one can stop me."
It's always over something trivial too, like the child running away from them or turning on the outside water faucet. The ones I've witnessed being hit are toddlers and it's always their moms doing the hitting. I don't get why they think they have to hit and practically pull their child's arm out of the socket to get them to behave. It really annoys me having to see it. I don't think it's fair because a toddler is so small in size compared to their parent and I worry they might get a dislocated shoulder or something.
I wish there was some way to convince the unconvinced parents this isn't the right thing to do.



HaleLocke
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28 Feb 2009, 12:37 am

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
I totally disagree with hitting children. Get this...neighbors who know how I feel about this subject (and they completely disagree with me which, to me, is a shame) will see me and if their child is doing something they don't like they will hit him or her right in front of me knowing I really disapprove of it. It's like they are saying "It's my right and I don't care what you think and what you consider the right way to raise kids I am going to do this and no one can stop me."
It's always over something trivial too, like the child running away from them or turning on the outside water faucet. The ones I've witnessed being hit are toddlers and it's always their moms doing the hitting. I don't get why they think they have to hit and practically pull their child's arm out of the socket to get them to behave. It really annoys me having to see it. I don't think it's fair because a toddler is so small in size compared to their parent and I worry they might get a dislocated shoulder or something.
I wish there was some way to convince the unconvinced parents this isn't the right thing to do.

All the more reason to advocate that people shouldn't have children.


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