Asperger's and Scripts

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I think everyone has scripts, but the AS difference is:
that autists have a problem with changing skripts.
Once written, it can be edited, but this takes time and
has to be done conciously, while I think NTs can be
more flexible - I don't really no the reason why.

If something unexpected happens, and I can't do what
my plan was, for example if I don't find the way to some place
I easily panic, it is like a 'null-pointer-exception'.

Another thing is my 'database': I freak out if I can't catalogue a thing
like a specific human behaviour, I focus on it and try
to understand....but sometimes I will find no answer
so it would be better to put this thing in a folder
'for unsolved problems'.

I think that the therapist was trying to use script therapy with AS when it works better with NT's. He said he used it with autistic children though. We just never could get a real grasp on our scripts, the way he was explaining it. So, BF and I worked things out for ourselves and stopped seeing him.

Couples therapist who specializes in AS? They have those?

Yes, he said he was a specialist in AS and anxiety disorders, which both AS BF and I also have. He said he would do couple's therapy with us.

The BS is that he believes a lot of anxiety is mental, when really it is obviously the result of sensory and social overload for us. My BF could only listen to so much of it. He said, "Please, can we not go back?"

Here is my take on scripts:

I use them as a tool for dealing with large quantities of people.

I noticed a long time ago that I tend to talk about the same things and explain things in a similar way and so on over and over to all these different people.

It became predictable that people would almost always ask the same questions and so-on and so forth...to which I always have a limited number of select answers....

Scripts in relationships:
There are right ways and wrong ways that I can be approached. If the wording is just slightly off when Flakey is making some request of me, then I will become hostile.

An example of this is when Flakey asks me if I HAVE something that I am obviously not holding in my hands...

or if he asks me if i DID something that he previously did not ask me to do.

Particularly when I am under stress...it is the core of most friction between us.

If I am not given specific instructions and then do something wrong because it was not part of the instructions...then I can get pretty pissed....

so wording is important and certain key elements need to be in place as if in a script.

This is one of the ways in which I can be a difficult person....

um....

with my other boyfriend....who is more ASish than Flakey...we definitely have scripts because I only see him once in a while and we are forced to talk on the phone..even though neither of us are good phone talkers. If I didn't have a script I would never know what to say...so I am repetative in what I talk about...i always ask him what he had for lunch...and if he is in a good mood he will cheerfully respond...and if he is in a bad mood then he will get cranky with me for always asking the same dumb question....

I always tell him to take care and have a good evening...to which he always tells me to stop telling him what to do because he will not respond to my direct commands... ..to which I explain that they were suggestions and I haven't figured out a better way to word the phrases so they don't sound like commands....

He will always point out when I don't follow a certain predictable protocol...like ringing my bike bell when I arrive at his apartment...or he might get cranky if I am too repetative...

Just like I always demand specific instructions and clear yes and no answers from Flakey..but I will um get mad if he is too patronizing...

I have sorta noticed that in our little triad...my role is to Flakey what my other partner's role is to me...if that makes sense...


Flakey has lectured to me about using scripts and pretending that I am in a movie when i am having difficulty dealing with people...to which I explain that I already do....

That's it !

Even while people are giving me instructions I can be difficult. I want them in an particulary way and that's why I feel angry about those I don't need.

If you tell me to tidy up I don't want to hear that I will need a broom, a rag and so on. I just need to know exactly what I have to tidy up because if I don't know exactly what must be the final result I feel lost and it can make me really irritated to know something will probably be wrong.

If you give me a job to do from an exact A to an exact Z just let me do it alone and in my own way, it will be nearly perfect.