Does anyone else HATE sex sometimes?
Emotional intimacy is intense. Physical intimacy is intense. I go into overload, where even if I climax, I'm not happy about it. Is it losing control that messes with the aspie head? Or is it just the overall overstimultion leading to a massive stimulation?
My aspie BF likes a lot of physical touch and foreplay. I've never had a lover as into it as he is. It makes it very hard for me to be with him. I even count the seconds while we're kissing because he likes really long, deep tongue kisses. I don't like them much. I just do it and count.
I don't always hate sex. Sometimes, I like it. It just depends on how over-stimulated I've become before I have it. My BF is happy with me as a lover but today he asked if I'm not attracted to him anymore. I said "No, I just can't handle all this foreplay!"
Most women would not complain, I don't think. Especially not NT women. Am I just strange and different?
My aspie BF likes a lot of physical touch and foreplay. I've never had a lover as into it as he is. It makes it very hard for me to be with him. I even count the seconds while we're kissing because he likes really long, deep tongue kisses. I don't like them much. I just do it and count.
I don't always hate sex. Sometimes, I like it. It just depends on how over-stimulated I've become before I have it. My BF is happy with me as a lover but today he asked if I'm not attracted to him anymore. I said "No, I just can't handle all this foreplay!"
Most women would not complain, I don't think. Especially not NT women. Am I just strange and different?
dunno, il let you know when i get some.lol
I actually had sex recently and nothing disturbed me about it. Then again, I've been educating my partner about what NOT to do. I think it is working.
_________________
I am a very strange female.
http://www.youtube.com/user/whitetigerdream
Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent!
wow.
i do not do anything i do not want to do. EVER. i used to once. but not anymore.
i do not kiss.
i do not have sex missionary position...too emotionally intense.
i do not look into a partner's face.
i do not allow soft touch.
if i do those things i can actually get so overloaded and overwhelmed i can have a meltdown and thump the other person.
i cannot help who i am or what i am. i am weird. i am different.
and it is ok.
i am resigning myself to virtual sex and to masturbation....less complicated for me.
I can relate to this.
It's not that it's not fun anymore, it's just that it gets to be too much sometimes.
Overstimulated sounds right.
Most of the time when I'm in that kind of mood I won't let him touch me.
But sometimes I don't notice my mood soon enough and the whole thing comes to a very unromantic end at the worst possible time.
I just tell him I'm sorry it's just too much right now, and I go take a shower. Being told "you're too much" is the most ego-boosting way to stop having sex with a guy that I can think of, and it's also true...
It doesn't happen often, so I haven't bruised any egos too hard... besides, we all have our little bedroom dysfunctions from time to time. It's just nice having someone who's still interested in trying again the next day.
I don't like prolonged tongue kissing and that's my partner's "thing" he loves and fantasizes about.
I can't tolerate soft touch.
I can't tolerate being touched in two places at once.
My BF doesn't like these things, but he's adapting.
_________________
I am a very strange female.
http://www.youtube.com/user/whitetigerdream
Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent!
A lot of the time I just don't like to be touched at all. Anywhere. Instead of Oooo... someone's touching me, it's more like ARGH!! SOMEONE'S TOUCHING ME! The shocking feeling tends to override any good feelings.
This really sucks, but I can't seem to change it. Yet I keep trying.
Is this in any way related to what John Gray talks about in Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, where he says women don't want full-production sex as much as men do (on average only!, so no rants on this please), with orgasms and all that? His answer is for couples to have quickies, where she just lies there and he goes for an orgasm for him and not for her, and this takes the pressure of the woman who doesn't want to have to get too into it all the time but still likes her man.
But that's for orgasms. If he's more into foreplay than she is, I'm not sure how you'd manage that. Is it the same thing? or something different?
This really sucks, but I can't seem to change it. Yet I keep trying.
Lol, exactly!
Just don't have sex whene you're In that almost-overload state.
But that's for orgasms. If he's more into foreplay than she is, I'm not sure how you'd manage that. Is it the same thing? or something different?
No, SHE WANTS AN ORGASM!
She just dosn't want a long foreplay (to make a fuss of it), I can relate to that. Sometimes I just want to get to the point, and go to sleep!
i actually want to have sex - and i want to orgasm. easiest on my own.
and if i have sex with someone, i suppose they would consider me a completely kinked out control freak weirdo.
oh well.
My aspie BF likes a lot of physical touch and foreplay. I've never had a lover as into it as he is. It makes it very hard for me to be with him. I even count the seconds while we're kissing because he likes really long, deep tongue kisses. I don't like them much. I just do it and count.
I don't always hate sex. Sometimes, I like it. It just depends on how over-stimulated I've become before I have it. My BF is happy with me as a lover but today he asked if I'm not attracted to him anymore. I said "No, I just can't handle all this foreplay!"
Most women would not complain, I don't think. Especially not NT women. Am I just strange and different?
dunno, il let you know when i get some.lol
ready?
_________________
I'm now midwifeaspie's piece of meat.
i do not do anything i do not want to do. EVER. i used to once. but not anymore.
i do not kiss.
i do not have sex missionary position...too emotionally intense.
i do not look into a partner's face.
i do not allow soft touch.
if i do those things i can actually get so overloaded and overwhelmed i can have a meltdown and thump the other person.
i cannot help who i am or what i am. i am weird. i am different.
and it is ok.
i am resigning myself to virtual sex and to masturbation....less complicated for me.
Thats just negative weakness. Why do so many people on the spectrum give in? I could sit in my room rocking back and forth all day listening to music if I wanted., but nothing will beat me.
_________________
I'm now midwifeaspie's piece of meat.
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