Is Confidence really Key?

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But it can 'work' if there aren't any actual demonstrations of ability needed to hold onto a position (or whatever). It amazes me how far some people get on image and talk, sometimes.

The thing with confidence is that it is an effect even more than a cause. These (apparently) 'low status' guys are confident *because* they have a partner who sticks with them. And probably one before that...and maybe two or more before that. They know they'll find someone else soon enough if this one leaves. So of course they are confident!

Self-love (and self-esteem and ultimately confidence) springs from having *others* love you first, unconditionally. Psychology is largely based on the evidence that how others relate to us in our early years is absolutely crucial to our long term frame of mind. It even has physical effects that show in brain development.

Much as it would be nice to be totally responsible for the processes in our mind that cause happiness, it doesn't work like that. The cooperation of others is crucial to achieve it and one of the core problems with AS is that we don't invoke that cooperation in others. What's really sad is that as children, we often don't even invoke it in our own parents. They look at the "blissfully ignorant" kids shouting, screaming, laughing, running into brick walls, torturing cats, play fighting, then look at their own AS child reading a book on the workings of the internal combustion engine. Do those parents hide their shame from us? If not, there is your foundation for a life as an adult lacking confidence.

Yes, confidence is key! But you can't get it just by exercising alone

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt71545.html

While I appreciate your point of view, LPP, I don't agree with it... and just pasting in a link without any comment doesn't contribute anything to the conversation in this thread.


M.

^^ lol yea , it does . It's equal to a large post here , not agreeing with it won't change that.

Um... no, it doesn't. And that I don't agree with the theory you put forth in your -other- thread isn't something up for your determination - I find it bunk, the result of selective examination. The issue has come up before, and the practice of posting a link without any sort of comment or relevance to the thread at hand is frowned upon. You want to act the fool, the role is yours - just pointing out what might be obvious.


M.

For me confidence can be overrated at times,in order to win over a woman.I like use words such as courage.

Perhaps there is no general definition of confidence. Everyone will have their own definition.

Confidence and self confidence are two different things. It only takes the first to get women, but the latter are true alphas.

Confidence is definitely important. You can fake confidence for a little while but understanding. accepting, and working with who you are is an important part of having true confidence.

Holy Necro-Post, Batman!

If one decides to guide loosely by this thought, then the meaning of confidence, as well as it's application in this context, is diminished.
Meaning that one entirely misses the point if they say, "I will define confidence as I see fit, including my current habits, ergo I should now be more attractive."

Then again, confidence has always been difficult to define, regardless of whether or not it has a concrete meaning(In this context). Therefore, telling people to 'have confidence' is actually not that helpful due to it's vagueness. It becomes more useful, though, if we think about confidence in terms of the details of how it expresses itself, the patterns that can be observed among those details, and then finally, the origin of that pattern.

IMO, the short answer to all that stuff is: self-love.

I don't understand why people in general,talk so much of this alpha male crap!Were not animals,we are rational and sentient beings!Most of all that's pickup artist language.Right now,I'm turning like Marvin the Martian,"This alpha male thing,makes me very angry,very angry indeed!"

To me, confidence is doing things with an unflinching manner. It also involves acting on your desires shamelessly.

Girls like confident guys because they typically are good in the sack, and let's face it, confidence is extremely attractive in general. I love confident women.

You do not have to be "alpha" to get women, and neither do you have to be "alpha" to be confident. The hottest girl in my group of friends is falling for me hard and a good deal of the girls in that group also have crushes on me. Lord knows, I'm not alpha at all, but I will shamelessly be a sexualized man around women and that takes some confidence. On top of that I might be good looking, I have no idea.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but that is very wrong.