Appearently I bother people

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I work at a place that has a similar performance appraisal process as yours, and although I'm by no means perfect and still make some typical aspie faults, I might be able to give you some of the advice the manager should have said. Really, though, help your manager a bit; just tell them you'd like more concrete examples of what you're doing wrong socially and then concrete strategies that would fit the situation better. It may sound a bit elementary, but engineers are known to be a bit socially awkward at times, so they probably won't think too much of it.

• One good thing to do is avoid unnecessary conflict and disagreement. Avoid telling people flat out they're wrong, for example. Say a few things you like about their idea, and then add your criticism but frame it as a question about your understanding of their idea or as a friendly suggestion. Making enemies for little reason is just bad strategy.
• Avoid getting too emotionally worked up. This may sometimes be easier said than done, but it's best not to take criticisms personally and not to get distraught if things don't turn out the way you had hoped. It's better to think forward and avoid showing any significant negative emotion.
• Even if you don't work with the person much, it doesn't hurt to say hi when you see them and maybe to have a short conversation with them about non-work stuff. For example, ask them how they're doing. Parents like it when you ask a little about how their children are doing. If they have an interest, especially one you share with them, ask them about it and see why they like it. Try to stick to work-safe topics and, especially if you're getting in a preachy mode with your opinions, avoid discussing religion, politics, and sex.
• Ask people about the work they're doing and their projects. If they're new or working with something they're unfamiliar with but you are familiar with and your schedule allows, offer to help them for a few minutes.
• Basically try to make it pleasant to work with you and help others out.

Bit tips for ya:

1. Kill 'em with kindness. That ALWAYS puts them in a situation where there's NOTHING they can do. Remember...NTs base their actions on EMOTIONS; take advantage of this.

2. Be the best at what you do, and know you're always doing the right thing, so you always have your @$$ covered. If the bosses try to start something up with you, let 'em try throwing it in your face...it will fail, and HARD. They know they need YOU more than you need THEM.