Best (best) ways you've gotten back at someone.

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McCann_Can_Triple
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07 Mar 2009, 11:11 pm

The cruelest rejection thread is damn depressing.. so I thought I'd make a counter one. A thread where you can tell how you got back at your tormenters and turned the tables on them. Rather it be a witty insult or a punch in the face... I'd love to here it.


I like seeing/reading where the so called odd kid(adult )finally did something, vs all the ones about getting insulted and bullied and rejected.


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WanderMan
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08 Mar 2009, 12:11 am

Disclaimer 1:
I am certainly NOT a paragon of enlightenment. I am depressed and lonely, so I'm probably the last person who should be giving advice on social skills.

Disclaimer 2: I haven't read the "cruelest rejection thread" you mentioned.

But having said that, I read your post and I can't help but wonder if maybe focusing on getting back at people is counterproductive?

About a year ago, I noticed that I was very adversarial. I CRAVED enemies, I wanted to fight with people and "win." When someone did something cruel or thoughtless too me, I got very angry. This was especially true with women.

But after the advice and urging of some of my friends, when I felt someone was mean to me, I instead tried to "diffuse" the situation. The ultimate success in a negative situation, is to dissipate the negative energy and have everyone get along.

The ultimate success in other words, is not to take revenge on our enemies. Instead it is to have no enemies at all (or very few), to be the kind of person who spreads happiness and is thus like by most people as a result.



Fnord
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08 Mar 2009, 12:20 am

One of the bet ways is to simply outlive someone. Then you can re-tell their history entirely from your point of view without any risk of contradiction.


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TheDoctor82
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08 Mar 2009, 12:31 am

Um dude...we're Aspies; the whole "comeuppance" thing is SO NT; I mean, really...

I mean, they do it, half the time, just to get acceptance from others. We DON'T get acceptance from others, so it's basically a futile waste to even do it.

You should know better than that.


Although one time, this fun situation happened:

I used to work at Suncoast, and my boss, who was always trumpeting not to read or do other stuff like that while on the job..started doing a crossword puzzle that was in Entertainment Weekly. He started asking every customer who came in about a certain question for the crossword puzzle. Finally, as I walked away to check our stock, I gave him the answer, but in a tone suggesting "and I thought you told ME not to do this?" :lol:



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08 Mar 2009, 1:03 am

I don't like revenge, I think it's useless, takes lots of energy that can be spent doing something more productive for myself, it's risky, and it's cruel.

But I do love to give people a taste of their own medicine, so that next time they'll think twice before pulling the same crap onto someone, including myself.

I especially love to wait patiently, often for many years, until those who rejected me need something from me, and then I use the same phoniness and cruelty they used to reject them.


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millie
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08 Mar 2009, 1:08 am

i don't intentionally do the revenge thing.
i can feel like doing so, but in the end it seems so horrible to get back at someone in an underhand way. i'll tell someone i think htey are a fuckhead, with aspie bluntness - very upfront and very direct. but revenge? not for me.

recently someone emailed me something in relation to getting back at someone who had been cruel. my reply was "forget about it. they live with themselves...don't waste your time and energy. instead do something constructive. "

i really do believe that.



ngonz
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08 Mar 2009, 1:10 am

My parents have been verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive all my life. I finally broke all ties with them last July. This is what I did: I bought a 2 small, cheap boxes at a second-hand store---one for my mother and one for my father. I made a list for each parent of things they did and said to me that were abusive and hurtful. The list was, "This is what you did, and this is how it made me feel." I put their list in their respective box and sent them to their house. I included a note that said, "Here's your crap. This was forced on me. I never wanted it nor deserved it. Now I am returning it to you. I forgive you, not because you deserve it, but because I do. However I will never forget."

That was very symbolic, but concrete, and it made me feel very good. My health has improved all around since I did that. I should have done it years ago.


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hartzofspace
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08 Mar 2009, 2:36 am

I think that actively trying to seek out revenge is a big waste of time, and hardly worth the effort. However, if I am present to see someone who has hurt me get their just desserts, through no intervention on my part, I truly enjoy it.

Once, I worked for a large rehab company. A new employee from a European country came to work there. At first, she was nice. I was nice to her, as well. And then, she started being mean in little ways. She would make comments about co-workers from certain ethnic groups that could be construed as racist. I took her aside, and told her that if she kept making these comments, she could get in trouble. At this point, I hoped that she would get into trouble, since I had been on the receiving end of her spite.

But I did endeavor to warn her, because she stood to lose a lot, if she got negative attention from the boss - namely, her green card, which she was hoping to earn from the company. She had to complete three satisfactory years of employment to get this. So, after warning her, she continued to make racially offensive remarks. Someone reported her, and she got a "First Strike" warning, meaning two more reports, and back to her country she would go. It was quite satisfying to see her have to come down from her high horse!


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pensieve
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08 Mar 2009, 3:03 am

A swift kick to the groin.



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08 Mar 2009, 3:41 am

a friend hated his roommates so much, that at the last day of the contract, he threw food in the whole house, in the beds, bathrooms, in the closets, in the living room, couch, everwhere!




... and then he let loose a chicken!
:lmao:


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Icheb
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08 Mar 2009, 3:47 am

I once got revenge in a funny way. I was at a party at a former teacher's house, and walking into the kitchen, who should I see standing by the fridge but a guy who had been dissing me for a year and telling stories about me behind my back. Catching sight of me, he exclaimed sarcastically, "Well, look who's here!" and yanked open the fridge door in what he must have felt was an assertive way... whereupon a glass bottle full of raspberry syrup fell out of the fridge door and crashed on the floor! For the next twenty minutes, the guy was seen crawling over the kitchen floor picking up pieces of glass and wiping up the sticky syrup with a wet cloth. He mustn't have done a very good job, because for the rest of the evening everybody entering the kitchen remarked upon the sticky floor, only to be told what happened, so the story spread like wild fire, causing much hilarity. That was probably the most satisfying revenge I've ever had, and it was entirely without my doing! :D


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08 Mar 2009, 4:04 am

I'll only implement my revenge plans when i'm rich enough to get a good defense lawyer.



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08 Mar 2009, 6:45 am

i do not have a vengeful mind. if someone makes me angry, then i just fume for a while and then i forget it because i can not stay angry for long.

but if someone is making my life difficult, and they are in my life everyday, then i may do things to cause them hardship.

i will say an example.
i had a teacher in year 7 who very much disliked me and she said my attitude was atrocious. every time i addressed her she used to say "how dare you talk to me like that you impudent little upstart". she was very strict, but she had class pets who she unfairly favored.
she was a history teacher. i did not like history at all, and just took it because i had to.
she was disgusted at my lack of interest in history and called me slow witted and an imbecile. i said to her that you did not need to be smart to know history. all you need is a memory. i said that i would only be interested in history at the end of time.
she disliked me intensely from then, and i did not like her at all.

i noticed she had a somewhat paranoid personality, and i also wondered if she had schizophrenia. so i started to chip away at her.

when i would go to class, i always sat right in front of her at the front of the class.
when she asked a question, i would put my hand up (if i knew the answer) and she would have to let me answer if i was the only one who put up their hand. so i stood up and answered, but i pulled serious faces at her while i was talking.
from the class's point of view (from behind where they could not see my face), i was talking in a sober and quiet way to her. from her point of view i had a serious psycho expression on my face as i spoke to her (baring my teeth and grimacing like a monster).
she used to stop me and say "how dare you speak to me in that way", and i instantly dropped the expression and turned slightly so the class could see my innocent expression, and then i would turn back to her and re-pull the same face and say in an innocent way "sorry miss?"
she would tell me to get out.
after many of these incidents, the class thought she was crazy and if another teacher asked the kids what i did wrong, they would say i seemed proper in every way, and they could not understand why she had a problem.

then i practiced ventriloquism in a way, where i would talk without moving my lips. so when i spoke to her with my back to the class was i would silently mouth the words first, then say them audibly without moving my lips. no one but her saw this and she screamed one day "why are you doing this to me you evil little boy?!?!?" and lost her composure in the classroom. the other kids were starting to believe she was insane.

then, on a cold morning when i was in the playground and had condensation coming from my breath, i thought it looked like i was smoking. so i got a white pencil from my bag and pretended to be secretively smoking when she was on patrol. she saw me and started running in my direction and i pretended i was stubbing the cigarette out and i threw the pencil into the bushes and she grabbed me by the hand and dragged me to the principals office.
she demanded that i had been smoking, but when the principal smelled my breath, it was clean, and he politely said to her that she must have been mistaken as it was a cold morning after all. i think he was losing confidence in her to a degree.

after i was let go, she said to me that she knew i was a "sick little jerk" and she was "on to me" and she would have me out of the school before i knew it. i thought "we will see".

then i wrote my best attempt at a 10 page essay that we had to do for a test, and i made sure that the last page contained only a few words.
i also wrote a dummy essay that was absolute nonsense, and i made sure page 9 of that dumb essay flowed correctly and seamlessly into the words on page 10 of the good essay.

so i submitted the 9 page nonsense essay with page 10 of the good essay for her to mark.
she wrote in red at the end of my essay on page 10 that it was rubbish and showed i have not been paying attention. she marked it 25%
then when i got the marked essay back, i discarded the 9 pages of the silly essay and replaced them with the 9 original pages from my good essay and then i complained about my mark to the principal.
he agreed it was a bit harsh.

and then another time, i wrote a scribbled note during class that was about a dream i had where a man was saying "i am going to kill you". (i made up the dream as a stage)
i made sure she saw me writing this covert note and i held the words "i will kill you" tightly between my thumb and forefinger. she demanded the note and started to pick it up but i was not going to let it go (staged) and she ripped it out of my hand. the words "i am going to kill you" were still in my hand, but she did not realize it and went to her desk and read the note. she decided it was nothing to bother about and screwed it up and threw it in her bin.

after class, i picked the note out of her bin. then a few days later, i dropped the piece of paper that stayed in my hand (with the words "i am going to kill you") near her desk.
i saw her notice it and then she picked it up and recognized my handwriting. she went ballistic and said "now i've got you!! !" and she ran out of the room.

i then put the note i got from her bin back in her bin and waited for the principal to return (as i knew he would) and he demanded an explanation. i said it was part of a note that "miss" took off me earlier. the rest is in her bin i think. i said she must have tore it up somehow and maybe she is confused.

he looked in there and found the note and jigsaw puzzled the shred she was complaining about with the rest of the note and it matched.

he asked her to go back with him to his office and i think they had words because she left the next monday.

i have no idea whether i was the reason, but i think her credibility was not well respected by him in the end.
i lasted at that school for another 3 months.



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08 Mar 2009, 7:17 am

Two years ago, a member from a website that I frequent, dropped me after he found out more about me, than he bargained for. He didn't like me talking about my special interest, all the time. He even said something that I felt was untrue about my level of functioning. He was becoming more blunt and abusive in the PMs that he was sending me. He got very angry when I didn't give him a good enough response. After the last non responsive message that I sent him, he dropped me. A week later he was sending PMs behind my back, to another member, saying nasty things about me, and that was after he was giving me personal attacks about everything about me that makes me unique. I've sent him a PM, telling him that I know that he was talking behind my back, that I'm higher functioning than he thought I am, and that I needed my special interests more than I needed him. I've even posted about the dialogue that lead up to that event, in the old 'Burgers and Ass' thread. I've also said something about Rain Man being a Spastic Freak, because that's what that person referred to me as, even though I don't think that lowly of that character or my fellow autistics, at all. To top it off, I've started bragging about how much like my favourite 'Flushed Away' character I am, in every way. If I'm going to be this much into my gritty, rebellious self, it's better that I haven't heard from that person. I do wish him the best, though.


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08 Mar 2009, 7:20 am

A life well lived is the best revenge. That is what I try to do. When people try to fight you for the way you are living then that's when you know you are doing it right. Also I started dating my ex-wife's best friend (now ex-best friend) about a year after we got divorced. 8)


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08 Mar 2009, 8:07 am

I had a really bad sexual harassment trauma with my professor, Dennis Healy, and a woman he was having an affair with. She was a real Machiavelian sexual networker, and was trying to meet men in the area who had money, influence, security clearances. She had a professionally awesome seduction routine -- she was a charismatic and could morph herself into a charming representation of a man's repressed desires, after spending some time investigating him and analyzing him psychologically. The reason she failed in all her real relationships was not due to her social skills, which were awesome, but because her real self was so mean, narcissistic, empty and petty that she was a horror to be around once you saw through her adorable surface. The longest she ever had a SINGLE boyfriend (she could keep married affairs with important men going on for years, keeping them at arms' length so they couldn't see through her games for a long time). She used to cry about how miserable her sex life was and how she longed for a real relationship and good sex (the married men she had affairs with were all old married scientists and engineering geeks).

Well, after she started having an affair with my married professor, she poisoned my relationship with him, undermined my project and ruined my agenda. As a separate matter, she was harassing me personally, invading my time and picking at me psychologically, all while acting like a friend. This woman was a real piece of work. That was classic mean-female, undermine-the-competition stuff that I should have anticipated, but it had never happened to me before. After she poisoned my project, she kept harassing me, and I got fed up, stopped working on my project and started dating.

Suddenly, I was loaded with all those kinds of guys she dreamed about landing: wealthy, professionally elite single guys. Men have always liked me b/c I'm an AS who is a tomboy and when I clean myself up, I'm very hot. They tell my I don't play games like other women, and that I'm brilliant. If you hang around truly brilliant, accomplished men, they love women like me, who don't play sophisticated mind games and who are genuinely interested in the world. The rich, single guys have slick phonies and manipulative females after them all the time, and apparently that gets real old. Anyways, she started getting jealous of me and at one point demanded that I introduce her to the wealthy married single men I'd been dating. I didn't exactly laugh in her face, but she didn't meet any wealthy, gifted single men through me.

After she poisoned my project and stabbed me in the back with my professor, closing the door on my professional future, I wasn't about to open the doors for her to meet anyone else! She stabbed me in the back too soon, like a thief who hits a victim over the head after she empties only one pocket. She was stuck bottom-feeding off her old, married, sexually inept geeks cheating on their wives, and trying to make believe that her affairs were real relationships.

Then I sent a bunch of emails to the school's department chair and the professor's colleagues, complaining of her harassment and how she had disrupted so much of my time telling me about her dismal affairs, her pathetic, sleazy sex life, and how she had some kind of weird sexual narcissism thing going on and was doing a lot of men she met off Craigslist, hunting for married men because single men dumped her so quickly. I said she was a "sociopathic narcissist". At the time, she was having sex with at least 3 men in the building, pretending to each that she was genuinely interested in them.

Of course I disrupted my professional ties at the same time I blasted her, because the men she was involved with denied it and made various counter-accusations against me. But she had made sure I had nothing left there anyways. I learned a long time ago that when a sociopath attaches itself to me that they always win. But what I did do was kick up enough of a fuss that these men would have to explain what they were doing if they continued to hang around with her (she wasn't a part of the university, just hanging around). I made the situation conspicuous and all the years she had spent building her little sexual network of influence were wasted. She moved away a year later.

You can't win when a sociopath attaches itself to you and decides to undo you. But if they are destroying you, what is to lose by taking them down with you? I've been targeted by several sociopaths, because I'm attractive but socially vulnerable, so I attract attention and at the same time I'm helpless against social aggression. At some point I had to make a stand and fight back. That is my view. I might not be able to win against sociopaths but I will try to kick their teeth in if they don't leave me alone because if in my experience if I don't they just continue until I'm destroyed anyways.

Edited to add: My narrative above was too sloppy in one respect: one of the men in the building she was carrying on with was a mechanical engineering professor, who didn't know the other 2 at all but who she had met through online personal ads. So the "they", where I talked about emailing, didn't include him.



Last edited by ephemerella on 08 Mar 2009, 1:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.