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Joined: 4 Feb 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 14

10 Mar 2009, 7:29 pm


I have a son who is 4 years old (5 within a week). He has asperger's syndrome and I do too.

If possible, I'd like to give him some tools for navigating socially so that he may avoid some of the unpleasant experiences I've had.

For instance I hope that I can find some trick to teach him so he don't get too upset if other kids say harmless things to him. As you know, we are pretty easy to tease and if I can learn him somehow that he shouldn't get upset, or how to manage his agitation constructively somehow, I believe he'll get through childhood a little happier. At the time being, if I call him mister Louis (his name is Louis) he gets annoyed. If I say it twice he begins telling me off. I haven't repeated it more than twice, but you can imagine what would happen if I went on.

I can also remember from my own childhood that if lights were turned on in the morning and it was still dark outside, then my eyes hurt for 2-5 minutes (I don't know exactly for how long).
It really took a long time for my eyes to get used to the light, and it hurt. And when I was at the dentist, the light they used to see what they were doing really hurt my eyes too. The adults (my mother and the dentist) told me of course that I was hysterical, and my mother even refused to buy me a cap or sunglasses when I asked for it, probably because she thought it was a lame excuse for me wanting some fancy stuff.

The thing about the light is pretty easy to deal with. In the winter mornings I just have to give my kid all the time he needs until he's able to see, and I can tell the dentist that he's very light sensitive and that they have to respect that he feels pain even if they do not understand it and that they should cover his eyes with something if he complaints about it.

I have a pretty good idea about other things I'd like to deal with when he grows older, but I'd like to take hand of as many as the vulnerable situations as early as possible.

Now, whenever I bring this up with the public workers involved in my son's case, they say that I should ask someone else.

I'd like to hear from other Aspies which situations you can remember from your childhood where you were vulnerable in any way.

I know this is the parents' discussion thread, but it's the Aspies' inputs I'd really like to have.

Thxs in advance :-)


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Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,015
Location: Northern California

10 Mar 2009, 7:47 pm

My son and quite a few others would tell you the flushing of a toilet, and especially the auto flush ones. Annoying and/or literally frightening.

Mom to an amazing AS son, who recently graduated from the university (plus an also amazing non-AS daughter). Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).

Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 15 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 125
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

10 Mar 2009, 9:35 pm

Learning judo and social sciences helped me with a lot of stuff.

Social sciences won't replace social skills, but it will help compensate. Don't assume he's too young to learn stuff like game theory, psychology, etc. Plus it makes people more interesting, frustrating and overwhelming parties instead become "fantastic opportunities to observe NTs interacting in their natural environment".

Judo can help with balance and not falling badly, not dropping things, self-defense, self-control, and confidence.

Have your son join hobby groups suitable for aspies (individual sports, arts, etc), so he can socialize in a more organized setting.

I was bullied in pre-school, kindergarten, and throughout grade school. I've heard that high school is even worse (more social-oriented), but college is better. So if at all possible, homeschool instead of high school. Hobby groups are better for socializing anyway, especially if you don't have homework eating up all your time.

Check for co-morbids, food allergies and sleep disorders. You want to get on top of that stuff as early as possible.

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Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 122

12 Mar 2009, 7:40 pm

my son used to have a really hard time listening to rock music of any kind. I never really understood why until he finally explained that to him - it was just noise. (funny, I remember my dad saying that about the music I would listen to!) He preferred classical music because to his ears, it was all much more organized. Being a classical musician, I can certainly understand that. :)

Since then, he has learned how to play guitar hero on the Wii, and interestingly enough - he has "found" the organization in rock music and tolerates it much better now. I never would have thought he'd be able to learn such a thing from a video game, but he did.

My son also has trouble with background noise in the classroom. I don't know what can really be done to help that, but certainly it's something to watch for. To my son, it's both distracting and annoying.

Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 10 Feb 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 187

12 Mar 2009, 9:30 pm

Ear plugs, ear muffs, might be advisable for fireworks.