Name some things you shouldn't talk about with people

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b9
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03 Apr 2009, 8:43 am

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
3rd thing: I don't think you could win in that situation.

i did not want to win it. i wanted to escape it. but yes i know what you mean. it was bound to be unproductive for someone like "drunken and emotional" him to approach me for consolation.


gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
It seemed you were destined to say the wrong thing if you mentioned his son dying, but by focusing on the jet he might have thought you were cold, which is what NTs tend to think when you focus on things like machinery instead of the emotional/human aspect of whatever the thing is. The guy probably didn't understand that you did that to avoid upsetting him..


i know you are right. in my mind it was all a "buggers muddle" and i did not know what he expected me to say. i could not talk about his son because i did not recognize him as someone i ever met from the photo. the old man liked me a bit because i seemed smart enough to understand his grief (he thought).
he was not educated as to the specifications of the jet his son was sitting in, so i guess me talking about it did not distract and calm him.

i am not good at knowing how to placate people so i told the bar staff about him, and they would have better served his needs than i could (ie. "understanding" his saga, and ringing him a cab to go home etc).


gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
I suck at consoling people too, that's why I don't do it! I do it online, all I have to say is "sorry for your loss" or whatever everyone else is saying, and it shows I care without having to read a bunch of social rules. But when someone is upset in class or whatever, I avoid them at all costs because I never know what to say.

you are smarter than me. i do not console people on line because i leave consolation to others who are more deep and stuff.
i am shallow, and any comment i make to a sad persons thread is likely to be unintentionally glib. but if they remain unanswered i may try to help them.
i do want to make them feel better but i have no means to do so, and what i say usually makes people feel worse (if they give me any credit).

oh well i am tired now and all this is trivial so i am going to prepare for sleep.



EgaoNoGenki
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10 Apr 2009, 10:16 pm

Ooh, yeah! I know! I know some people with a diaper fetish.

So not to talk about diaper fetishes, for sure! (unless a friend accidentally finds a diaper underneath some of your stuff, which in that case you probably have no choice.)


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Michael_Stuart
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11 Apr 2009, 2:43 pm

EgaoNoGenki wrote:
Ooh, yeah! I know! I know some people with a diaper fetish.

So not to talk about diaper fetishes, for sure! (unless a friend accidentally finds a diaper underneath some of your stuff, which in that case you probably have no choice.)


Took the words right out of my mouth. Even when talking about strange sexual preferences (sometimes such discussion occur spontaneously) this seems to always be seen as more than slightly weird. Oh well.



Amajanshi
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12 Apr 2009, 11:29 pm

- personal issues (unless it's a close/honest/trustworthy friend, psychologist, doctor or family member)
- sexual issues (same with above)
- politics unless the person enjoys arguments



MissConstrue
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12 Apr 2009, 11:31 pm

I think I know who Egao and Michael are talking about and that's not nice.


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16 Apr 2009, 7:16 pm

Things NEVER to talk about:
Religious topics. All kinds of bodily functions. Money. Death.

Things not to talk about unless asked talking to close friends:
People's outward appearance. Sex. Politics. Drug experiences. Weird stuff you saw on the internet. Anything controversial.

Things not to talk about unless you already know the person you're talking to is interested:
Maths. Science. Literature. Music. Art. Other unusual interests you might have.



luchog
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16 Apr 2009, 11:34 pm

blue_bean wrote:
Bowel movements

Unless they're your doctor. Or someone you share a particularly disgusting sexual kink with. :D

It all depends on the person, and the context. There is nothing that should never be talked about with anyone. Everything is a worthwhile topic for a particular person at a particular time.

Oh, and completely OT, I love the Osaka userpic.



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16 Apr 2009, 11:37 pm

NEVER say the word "goth" in front of someone who is clad head to toe in all black. :lol: They will never give you the time of day again as it is considered an insufferable faux pas.



Michael_Stuart
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17 Apr 2009, 2:46 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
I think I know who Egao and Michael are talking about and that's not nice.


Actually I was referring to myself, and not the person who you are referring to and whose name I can not quite remember.