Name some things you shouldn't talk about with people

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gina-ghettoprincess
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02 Apr 2009, 10:10 am

I've learnt that I shouldn't tell my friend Vicky about what I saw on the news about the guy who tried to have sex with a raccoon and it bit his thingy off...stuff like this grosses her out. :lol:


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b9
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02 Apr 2009, 11:05 am

i saw the number 11111111 just above the top lip of an aging woman at work. she is a heavy smoker. she has got a "dogs bottom" mouth because of the all the years she has pouted as she smoked her cigarettes. there are vertical lines that rise from her upper lip to her nose.

i was feeling frivolous so i said as i watched her speak "eleven million, one hundred and eleven thousand, one hundred and eleven" . she stopped talking and dismissed me as an idiot, but someone else later asked me what i meant, and i explained, and she must have told everyone because i was reprimanded later that day by management who told me to keep my non work related observations to myself.

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never tell someone you do not think they are attractive (as well as never tell them you think they are if you do not)

a woman recently at the tavern where i went to get dinner one night wound up talking to me. a male i know came to sit with me and he is a good looking person who is tanned and tall and attracts females because of his athletic build. she came to our table to meet him but wound up talking to me.

she complained that she was such a stunner that she could not shake off male admirers. she said that she found it very taxing that she was desired so much by so many men.
i said "goodness!! where do you go? they must be desperate" before i thought about it and she was extremely offended.
she said that most men found her attractive and she knew it and they made her life hell, and i said that i did not find her attractive in the slightest, and that as she was in her mid 50's she could expect a drop off soon from the attention of even the most desperate men.

she was extremely annoyed. what a hypocrite. she was complaining about all the male attention just seconds before.
i do not understand, but i realize now never to get roped into conversations about appearance.

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consoling should not be left to me.
an old drunk fellow in a pub once showed me a picture of his son who was sitting in a fighter jet sitting idle on the tarmac with the canopy open. he had dark sunglasses on and was posing for a photo-shoot. i liked the plane. the old man said that his son was shot down and killed straight after that shot was taken.

i presumed that he was shot by surprise while still idle on the tarmac and posing for pictures, and i said "yes they should be more careful even while on the ground".
the old man got cranky and said some things that were slurred so i did not understand them, but i decided to avoid talking about his son (so as not to upset him), so i focused on the jet.
i asked what kind of jet it was and what it costs to replace.

the old man seemed to go into a type of seizure and i alerted the bar staff that he may be having a stroke.
the old man was saying some very nasty things to me, so i left the situation in the hands of the bar staff and i went home.

consoling is not my forte.

there are many more examples but it is 3am now and i am quite tired now.

nighty night.



gina-ghettoprincess
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02 Apr 2009, 11:45 am

b9 wrote:
i saw the number 11111111 just above the top lip of an aging woman at work. she is a heavy smoker. she has got a "dogs bottom" mouth because of the all the years she has pouted as she smoked her cigarettes. there are vertical lines that rise from her upper lip to her nose.

i was feeling frivolous so i said as i watched her speak "eleven million, one hundred and eleven thousand, one hundred and eleven" . she stopped talking and dismissed me as an idiot, but someone else later asked me what i meant, and i explained, and she must have told everyone because i was reprimanded later that day by management who told me to keep my non work related observations to myself.

-------------
never tell someone you do not think they are attractive (as well as never tell them you think they are if you do not)

a woman recently at the tavern where i went to get dinner one night wound up talking to me. a male i know came to sit with me and he is a good looking person who is tanned and tall and attracts females because of his athletic build. she came to our table to meet him but wound up talking to me.

she complained that she was such a stunner that she could not shake off male admirers. she said that she found it very taxing that she was desired so much by so many men.
i said "goodness!! where do you go? they must be desperate" before i thought about it and she was extremely offended.
she said that most men found her attractive and she knew it and they made her life hell, and i said that i did not find her attractive in the slightest, and that as she was in her mid 50's she could expect a drop off soon from the attention of even the most desperate men.

she was extremely annoyed. what a hypocrite. she was complaining about all the male attention just seconds before.
i do not understand, but i realize now never to get roped into conversations about appearance.

---------
consoling should not be left to me.
an old drunk fellow in a pub once showed me a picture of his son who was sitting in a fighter jet sitting idle on the tarmac with the canopy open. he had dark sunglasses on and was posing for a photo-shoot. i liked the plane. the old man said that his son was shot down and killed straight after that shot was taken.

i presumed that he was shot by surprise while still idle on the tarmac and posing for pictures, and i said "yes they should be more careful even while on the ground".
the old man got cranky and said some things that were slurred so i did not understand them, but i decided to avoid talking about his son (so as not to upset him), so i focused on the jet.
i asked what kind of jet it was and what it costs to replace.

the old man seemed to go into a type of seizure and i alerted the bar staff that he may be having a stroke.
the old man was saying some very nasty things to me, so i left the situation in the hands of the bar staff and i went home.

consoling is not my forte.

there are many more examples but it is 3am now and i am quite tired now.

nighty night.



3rd thing: I don't think you could win in that situation. It seemed you were destined to say the wrong thing if you mentioned his son dying, but by focusing on the jet he might have thought you were cold, which is what NTs tend to think when you focus on things like machinery instead of the emotional/human aspect of whatever the thing is. The guy probably didn't understand that you did that to avoid upsetting him.

I suck at consoling people too, that's why I don't do it! I do it online, all I have to say is "sorry for your loss" or whatever everyone else is saying, and it shows I care without having to read a bunch of social rules. But when someone is upset in class or whatever, I avoid them at all costs because I never know what to say.


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b9
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03 Apr 2009, 8:43 am

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
3rd thing: I don't think you could win in that situation.

i did not want to win it. i wanted to escape it. but yes i know what you mean. it was bound to be unproductive for someone like "drunken and emotional" him to approach me for consolation.


gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
It seemed you were destined to say the wrong thing if you mentioned his son dying, but by focusing on the jet he might have thought you were cold, which is what NTs tend to think when you focus on things like machinery instead of the emotional/human aspect of whatever the thing is. The guy probably didn't understand that you did that to avoid upsetting him..


i know you are right. in my mind it was all a "buggers muddle" and i did not know what he expected me to say. i could not talk about his son because i did not recognize him as someone i ever met from the photo. the old man liked me a bit because i seemed smart enough to understand his grief (he thought).
he was not educated as to the specifications of the jet his son was sitting in, so i guess me talking about it did not distract and calm him.

i am not good at knowing how to placate people so i told the bar staff about him, and they would have better served his needs than i could (ie. "understanding" his saga, and ringing him a cab to go home etc).


gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
I suck at consoling people too, that's why I don't do it! I do it online, all I have to say is "sorry for your loss" or whatever everyone else is saying, and it shows I care without having to read a bunch of social rules. But when someone is upset in class or whatever, I avoid them at all costs because I never know what to say.

you are smarter than me. i do not console people on line because i leave consolation to others who are more deep and stuff.
i am shallow, and any comment i make to a sad persons thread is likely to be unintentionally glib. but if they remain unanswered i may try to help them.
i do want to make them feel better but i have no means to do so, and what i say usually makes people feel worse (if they give me any credit).

oh well i am tired now and all this is trivial so i am going to prepare for sleep.



EgaoNoGenki
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10 Apr 2009, 10:16 pm

Ooh, yeah! I know! I know some people with a diaper fetish.

So not to talk about diaper fetishes, for sure! (unless a friend accidentally finds a diaper underneath some of your stuff, which in that case you probably have no choice.)


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Michael_Stuart
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11 Apr 2009, 2:43 pm

EgaoNoGenki wrote:
Ooh, yeah! I know! I know some people with a diaper fetish.

So not to talk about diaper fetishes, for sure! (unless a friend accidentally finds a diaper underneath some of your stuff, which in that case you probably have no choice.)


Took the words right out of my mouth. Even when talking about strange sexual preferences (sometimes such discussion occur spontaneously) this seems to always be seen as more than slightly weird. Oh well.



Amajanshi
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12 Apr 2009, 11:29 pm

- personal issues (unless it's a close/honest/trustworthy friend, psychologist, doctor or family member)
- sexual issues (same with above)
- politics unless the person enjoys arguments



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12 Apr 2009, 11:31 pm

I think I know who Egao and Michael are talking about and that's not nice.


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16 Apr 2009, 7:16 pm

Things NEVER to talk about:
Religious topics. All kinds of bodily functions. Money. Death.

Things not to talk about unless asked talking to close friends:
People's outward appearance. Sex. Politics. Drug experiences. Weird stuff you saw on the internet. Anything controversial.

Things not to talk about unless you already know the person you're talking to is interested:
Maths. Science. Literature. Music. Art. Other unusual interests you might have.



luchog
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16 Apr 2009, 11:34 pm

blue_bean wrote:
Bowel movements

Unless they're your doctor. Or someone you share a particularly disgusting sexual kink with. :D

It all depends on the person, and the context. There is nothing that should never be talked about with anyone. Everything is a worthwhile topic for a particular person at a particular time.

Oh, and completely OT, I love the Osaka userpic.



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16 Apr 2009, 11:37 pm

NEVER say the word "goth" in front of someone who is clad head to toe in all black. :lol: They will never give you the time of day again as it is considered an insufferable faux pas.



Michael_Stuart
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17 Apr 2009, 2:46 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
I think I know who Egao and Michael are talking about and that's not nice.


Actually I was referring to myself, and not the person who you are referring to and whose name I can not quite remember.