How many people are tired of threads like this?

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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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16 Mar 2009, 8:46 pm

Well...it might look that way. Ephemerella, people with AS are odd and socially awkward but common sense tells us that a rich, good-looking, college student who's reasonably intelligent should be able to find a partner unless there is something seriously flawed about his personality. I am not talking about AS. I think someone who fits that description could find a partner, even with AS. Money, education, good looks..but a little socially awkward? Who that fits this criteria cannot find a mate unless they have some serious personality issues? Reinterating, not talking about AS. There has to be more to the story that we aren't privy to.



2ukenkerl
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16 Mar 2009, 8:54 pm

pensieve wrote:
2ukenkerl wrote:
garyww wrote:
Well that type of post is not quite as bad as the one's that start out with:
I'm a 20 year old guy who can't find a girl friend because I think I might have a mild case of Aspergers even though I have an IQ of 148 and am very good looking, very rich and socially popular here at college. What can I do to get a date.


Actually, that statement is DUMB. You can have a high IQ and have AS. A number DO! You can CERTAINLY be 20, male, and have AS! You could even be good looking and have AS! You could be RICH and have AS! You might even think you are what is considered popular, and have AS.

I think you missed the point of his post.


NO, I didn't. he gave all those points, PRESUMABLY to indicate that the person DIDN'T have AS, and then ridicule the people that state that they think they have AS simply because they can't get a date.



garyww
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16 Mar 2009, 8:57 pm

You missed the point so doesn't that tell you something?


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2ukenkerl
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16 Mar 2009, 8:59 pm

garyww wrote:
You missed the point so doesn't that tell you something?


YEP! You're not good at getting your point across! :lol: :roll:



garyww
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16 Mar 2009, 9:02 pm

Yep, your really dense.


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2ukenkerl
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16 Mar 2009, 10:16 pm

Well, Garyww. The way you phrased it really did/does sound like what I argued against, and what several here have said.

If you mean that they don't make a clear case for AS, I do agree, and HAVE agreed. Then again, you never specified that and I wouldn't expect you, or any second person, to give it detail to make that clear otherwise. I took that as a summary. The order also speaks against that interpretation.

As for coming HERE for help, you can't go onto a normal site and ask. If I thought there was any hope of such a thing, I might ask those HERE that had such success. Still, it seems like people either luck out, or find a person in one of several ways, and I wouldn't want just anyone anyway. It seems like everyone over-simplifies, etc... or they just make things up. My problem is probably that I am shy, don't show the interest, don't talk that much, and take some things too literally and respond too fast.

And some people, like me, wouldn't want one that is after their money, etc.... In any event, some people in College will make fun of people behind their backs, and make some things seem to be more advantageous than they are. I am doing pretty well financially, and I am not flaunting it.

If you meant that wanting to have a spouse is something that is funnier than almost bragging about being on the public dole, than that is crazy also.



garyww
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16 Mar 2009, 11:09 pm

Talk to the OP and not to me. I didn't pose the question so respond to the thread starter but even as it stands you responce is almost incoherent and I'm not sure who or what you're responding to.


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Sora
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17 Mar 2009, 8:29 am

garyww wrote:
There are dozens of us who have websites and openly post who we are because we are proud of ourselves and we don't want to hide because we're autistic.


You could think about how some of us have enemies too. Enemies that would stop at nothing to bully and terrorise you because they hate you for your noticeable autistic behaviours and think you're 'a stupid retard that deserves to die'.

Some people don't want their phones terrorised, their email account bombard, their WP account hacked and have publish what they write on here about their symptoms so that others can go ahead and distort it, spread it, humiliate the person by adding parts and leaving parts out.

For the person it can mean that they cannot find employment, cannot get to know friends and acquaintances and cannot speak in public anymore without being spit at or hit on the head.

It's common that the photo you published will be edited. Your head my just end up on someone else's naked body and the the photos is spread. Your future employers will just love that.

Informing people about autism isn't exactly easy either - you can't just go public about it with all details.

People are prejudiced, they're emotional, they're irrational and they won't accept, believe or understand you just because you're being informative, logical, throughout, proud and truthful.

That autism (and every other disability on this planet) doesn't equate to MR is like wanting to convince another that the moon in made of cheese. They just don't want to believe you.


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timeisdead
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17 Mar 2009, 10:25 am

Quote:
People are prejudiced, they're emotional, they're irrational and they won't accept, believe or understand you just because you're being informative, logical, throughout, proud and truthful.

That autism (and every other disability on this planet) doesn't equate to MR is like wanting to convince another that the moon in made of cheese. They just don't want to believe you.

They are irrational and illogical. They believe in popular notions without ever taking the chance to research. The media does their thinking. You can display fact after fact and make rebuttal after rebuttal to their fallacious arguments but at the end of the day it's simply about popular perception. This is why I often think that they are the illogical ones, often ill suited to factually interpret reality.



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17 Mar 2009, 12:53 pm

Actually, I am a virgin in my 30s (not 37 - although it would be amusing if I was!) who doesn't know how to drive. And I have absolutely no problem with that. I do find it a bit irritating when people have a constant self-pitying, defeatist approach to their life though (I assume that what you really mean) - whether they're AS or NT (it happens in both, I find, and is certainly not limited to this site).



garyww
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17 Mar 2009, 2:30 pm

Living in constant fear must be worse than being autistic. It's almost like not being able to have a life as other people do.


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17 Mar 2009, 3:01 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Well...it might look that way. Ephemerella, people with AS are odd and socially awkward but common sense tells us that a rich, good-looking, college student who's reasonably intelligent should be able to find a partner unless there is something seriously flawed about his personality. I am not talking about AS. I think someone who fits that description could find a partner, even with AS. Money, education, good looks..but a little socially awkward? Who that fits this criteria cannot find a mate unless they have some serious personality issues? Reinterating, not talking about AS. There has to be more to the story that we aren't privy to.


Yes, but don't overestimate the power of social disorders to derail a person. Many people think I'm much more socially aware and able than I am. But I work like a demon to develop functional social skills. For example, I've been writing, writing, writing sometimes 18 hours a day, for 2 years, just to develop verbal communications skills (at least in writing). You have no idea how bad I was even last year, with rambling, emotional posts. The year before that, my writing was even more primitive and incoherent. My writing today is the result of about 2 years of practicing writing.

Because I have some skills, people assume I'm normal. Then they treat me at a social level that I'm over my head. That is because NTs are constantly playing head games and pushing boundaries with each other, testing each other as a part of normal social behavior. No matter what skill level I start at with a group of NTs, the relationship is always not what they think it is and they test boundaries. This has happened over and over, not just in writing but in other things too. The bottom line is that if you lack empathy, you lack empathy and professional or friend relationships you try to start and develop, are very, very shaky and become broken very easily.

High functioning Asperger people might have some skills and toys and external appearance of being like NTs. But (in my opinion) we are all Autism Spectrum in the important ways. The LF AS people should recognize HF Asperger people are autistic, too.



garyww
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17 Mar 2009, 3:09 pm

Most of us lower functioning people do recognize that HFA's and Aspies are also on the spectrum but so many of them also try to tell us that they're 'not really' or 'just mildly' affected with the condition so they can't relate to us as well as they would like to.


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ephemerella
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17 Mar 2009, 8:55 pm

garyww wrote:
Most of us lower functioning people do recognize that HFA's and Aspies are also on the spectrum but so many of them also try to tell us that they're 'not really' or 'just mildly' affected with the condition so they can't relate to us as well as they would like to.


I relate. You can't not relate. That's like saying a whale is not a real mammal because it lives in water and has fishlike body parts. The whale has emotional feelings and warm blood, communicates, and is more like a mammal than it is like any fish.



Tantybi
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17 Mar 2009, 11:33 pm

garyww wrote:
You missed the point so doesn't that tell you something?


Actually, I don't know if it were the point, but the way I took your post/example of the Aspie rich mo fo that couldn't get a date would be like (I know, analogies, it's for all the IQ Testies)

The millionaire who can't pay his electric bill

Santa complaining about not having any snow at the North Pole

A genius complaining about not being able to figure something out

A woman with Double D Cups worrying about not creating enough milk for her newborn

Like it has nothing to do with Aspergers except for it being on this site as much as it's about the fact that the guy has everything one would need to get a date as opposed to (not LFA) the guy who is ugly and poor.