Major Meltdown Yesterday

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My fiance and I were doing an mystery shop for Rita's Ice Cream. I was supposed to obtain a itemized receipt but I forgot to do so. I went back in to go get one and the woman said she couldn't give me an itemized receipt because she took a new customer and it would not print an itemized receipt once a new customer was rang up. Apparently, this was an unwritten and unstated rule I did not know about.

I told my fiance I couldn't get the itemized receipt because of this reason. I said to her I would just go and buy another ice cream because I didn't want to deal with conflict. I have already told you I am conflict avoidant. She did the weirdiest thing. She asked me the same question again of what happened in there and why I couldn't obtain the itemized. This was when I was starting to have a meltdown. I raised my voice and told her I already explained what happened. I didn't understand why she was asking me again.

She said then that she would go get the receipt herself. Guess what, she was able to obtain the receipt herself. This was when I had a major, major meltdown. It was bad. It was because the cashier lied to me. She f*****g lied to me. I just kept hitting the stearing wheel very hard and I kept saying "I hate her, I hate this f*****g b***h, I hate her, She f*****g lied to me." My spit went everywhere in the car.

1. How do I control this? I have been trying to figure out a way to control this most of my life.
2. How was my fiance able to obtain the receipt? Why did the woman, cashier lie to me?
3. I do have much to blame in this.
a. I should've remembered to get the itemized receipt the first time.
b. I should've went to the bathroom or something to meltdown or find some other place.
c. My spit went into her ice cream.
d. I did do a passive-aggressive act which was dump our garbage from the fast food place called checkers onto Rita's parking lot. I did pick it back up. I shouldn't have done that.

I shouldn't have done these things.

Women get more stuff done than men and you have to learn to live with it.

I am searching for a job, and finding the requirements impossibly difficult, so I am also facing situations where others get a "yes", but I am likely to get a "no". I am convinced that a lot of arbitrary requirements are just BS that is tacked on so people have an excuse for rejecting you. For example, if all jobs of one kind require 5 years experience, then how does anyone get into this job? What happens when all the people in those jobs retire? There must be a way around it, and the only way to hire new people is to overlook the rule, which is done when someone knows someone or someone likes someone. I am convinced the same is true for grants, it's who you know, not what you do. Grants are sometimes decided before they're announced.

Of course grants are determined beforehand!! ! What planet are you from??