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Emor
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20 Mar 2009, 6:43 pm

Okay. I know people _hate_ people making generalizations.
I know an Aspie who isn't very prejudice at all(he's self-opinionated when it comes to things like sexuality and disabilities[I don't think he knows Aspergers is Autism...]), but all the other Aspies I know tend to not want to talk to me at first.
I know people don't like talking to me because I look ugly under the conventional definition. I don't really care, to be honest, it helps me separate the shallow people from the open people.
Now, with all the NTs I know, ratio wise, they're a lot more accepting of how I look, and ignore it. I had an NT boyfriend before, and he didn't mind how I looked(well, he did a bit, but not that much).
But with all the Aspies I've met, they've been reluctant to talk to me. EVERYONE else in the social skills group I go to, everyone gets a long. But with me, except from the only non-prejudice Aspie there, they all look away and give mumbled answers. But after getting to know me better, they've gradually been nicer to me.
I don't see how this is very fair. Everyone else was new to the group, and I don't do anything people find un-appealing. I don't smell bad. It must be because of how I look. Yet again, I don't care if I'm ugly, it shouldn't matter.
But, my question is, as an Aspie, are you more prejudice to how people look or not?
I don't know if this thread will get taken down.
And I'm not trying to be a jerk about Aspies, it might just be a coincidence or something. I know a lot of NTs who have viewed me as inferior because I'm ugly(trust me, I've had people think it's okay to shout mean things at me, or take my seat, or completely ignore me).
This thread isn't about my aesthetic state, it's about Aspies and prejudice and NTs. Yet again, it could just be a coincidence.
EMZ=]



20 Mar 2009, 6:50 pm

My ex was real narrow and opinionated and prejudice against things that were different like homosexuals and bi sexuals, adult babies.

I do see a lot of hatred towards normality in the autism community and in their community they have so much hatred against things that are different because they can't accept people as individuals. So when they see someone who is different than lot of people, they freak out and don't accept that person, instead they expect that person to be like everyone else which is stupid.



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20 Mar 2009, 6:51 pm

I don't think it's the aspie in me that makes me prejudice. I do kind of judge people by what they wear. It's just how my older siblings were. I once talked to this guy in a club and my sister told him to leave and then turned to me and said 'he has braces', as though I was supposed to know that he was unacceptable or whatever.
I talk to all people, regardless of looks, class, age, race, etc.
I'm sorry that you think you're ugly. Looks aren't everything. I'm not that much of a looker myself.



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20 Mar 2009, 7:25 pm

I don't think so.


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ruveyn
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20 Mar 2009, 7:36 pm

Harsh judgment after the fact is not prejudice. It is postjucide.

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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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20 Mar 2009, 8:01 pm

Now that is a good topic question. Who are more prejudiced? Aspies or NTs? First impulse is to declare "Oh, I'm not prejiduce". But I wonder... I am not prejudice in ways that are the most obvious. Race, for instance, or nationality are not issues for me. Religion isn't either.
I am prejudiced against certain behaviours and issues like lack of hygiene. I am prejiduced against mushy pasta.
I'm not prejudiced against bad spellers.
Which are more prejudiced? I'd say neither and we should treat this matter on an individual by individual basis.



GuyTypingOnComputer
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20 Mar 2009, 9:05 pm

I would separate prejudice into two groups (i) group influenced and (ii) individual prejudging.

As a loner and independent thinker, I don't strongly associate with a social group (such as by race, religion, class) and don't have the group-based prejudices that more social individuals such as NTs may develop.

On the other hand, I probably "prejudge" more than an NT would because I have only a fraction of the social interaction to rely on for my judgments, and those interactions are impeded by an impaired ability to read the other person. In other words, I will prejudge you before I get to know you because chances are I will never get to know you. I will let someone else decide whether these prejudgments cross the fuzzy grey line into prejudice, though I will say that my initial impressions of an individual are not set in stone as I am continually perceiving more information.



showman616
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20 Mar 2009, 9:16 pm

i doubt being on the spectrum per se makes one either more, nor less prejudiced than anyone else. But being on the spectrum does make you the victim of prejudice- the general dislike by society of odd people.

So the question is -does being a victim of prejudice make a person more sympathic to other outsiders- or less sympathic?
Probably a little of both.
On one hand youre loath to judge lest thou be judged.
If you have to overcome special difficulties it makes you sympathic to others who are different. But it can harden you as well ( i overcame such and such why cant they).

The balance sheet probably balances out.

Taking myself - theres a guy I work with who- is also probably an aspie. Hes 40 but he reminds me of myself when I was a school kid in his oddness. Face to face Im nicer to him than are some people. BUt I still enjoy laughing at him behind his back with other coworkers! So I sympathize with him, but at the same time I look down on him for not learning to function better in nt society.



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20 Mar 2009, 9:56 pm

I'm just generally prejudiced against everyone...;) not really. I just treat everyone the same, more or less...



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20 Mar 2009, 10:15 pm

Emor wrote:
Okay. I know people _hate_ people making generalizations.
I know an Aspie who isn't very prejudice at all(he's self-opinionated when it comes to things like sexuality and disabilities[I don't think he knows Aspergers is Autism...]), but all the other Aspies I know tend to not want to talk to me at first...(snipped the rest for brevity's sake)


Aspies are people too(tm), truth be told, just because they have a diagnosis of aspergers, does not mean they are somehow not like other human beings. Aspies share all the same foibles as other human beings, don't generalize it to everyone, human minds find it easy to make things simple by steretyping and generalities because the human mind simply cannot deal with very large numbers, your sample of aspies is extremely small. And lastly, even aspies get annoyed at socially weird people (yes it's true!), I've met aspies at conferences that have pushed my boundaries.

Some aspies within the community have no idea how annoying they can be because of their mindblindness, take away their aspieness and they would still be annoying for other reasons, it's more to do with a persons whole makeup and psyche.



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20 Mar 2009, 10:36 pm

I give most people the benefit of the doubt, if they want to betray it and make themselves look bad, it's their problem, but it won't make things with me any easier.



uisart
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21 Mar 2009, 12:20 am

Quote:
with all the NTs I know, ratio wise, they're a lot more accepting of how I look, and ignore it.


It is just the lack of skills to pretend.

If you are a person who looks diferent, we can not pretend that you are a normal one. We can not to lie with corporal language (not in my case).

If I try with some fat person, or dwarf or deformed, I do not know how to look at him. I know they notice this on me, even if I am doing everything what i can for not be offensive though. Same with a dark, or emo or funk.

I know and realy believe each of us are human beens very simmilar, but in the first try: I can not to pretend that everything is normal.

Some monts ago: I knew a girl wich is now a good friend of mine, she told me she was orphan since 2 yers old. I did not know what to say abaut it. I could not imagine how did she feel about it.

I thing it is a simmilar case.



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21 Mar 2009, 1:19 am

I've only known one aspie in my life who was really prejudiced. He is no longer my friend. Most aspies are accepting of others, I think, because we've been rejected so much ourselves that we know what it feels like.

However, there are probably as many prejudiced aspies as NT's. We don't know. No research has been done, of course! But we will speculate!


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21 Mar 2009, 1:59 am

I have a bias towards the parish and fringe groups in societies than the mainstream. So arguably I am prejudiced against the mainstream forces and groups.

But I try not to be...


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21 Mar 2009, 3:07 am

ruveyn wrote:
Harsh judgment after the fact is not prejudice. It is postjucide.

ruveyn


Harsh judgment based on previous experiences not related to the impending instance would still be prejudice. I think that those on the spectrum tend to be reliant on experiential observation and quantifiable results, therefore having a higher instance of expectations and therefore higher demands and more judgmental when those needs are not meant. Also, lacking the filters and nuance to convey such feelings, it would more likely be like applying makeup with a sledgehammer than any sort of productive use when communicating, coming out more critical or targeted than perhaps intended.


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