does your s/o support your child's dx?

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stacieberry
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23 Mar 2009, 2:40 pm

:?: ok my DH does not support my son's dx! He thinks it is a bunch of bull. He is also much harder on our son with AS. I am tired of this any advice?



DW_a_mom
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23 Mar 2009, 2:42 pm

I am sorry. I wish I had advice. I do know others here have similar issues, and perhaps they can provide something useful.

My husband saw himself in the diagnosis and bought into it pretty much right away for our child AND himself (although he wasn't in the process).

But that could also have been a problem. Other men see themselves in the diagnosis and don't want to. Thus, they reject it for their child so that they can reject it for themselves. Give some thought as to if this could be your husband's issue. Knowing WHY will give you a good place to start.


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stacieberry
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23 Mar 2009, 6:47 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
I am sorry. I wish I had advice. I do know others here have similar issues, and perhaps they can provide something useful.

My husband saw himself in the diagnosis and bought into it pretty much right away for our child AND himself (although he wasn't in the process).

But that could also have been a problem. Other men see themselves in the diagnosis and don't want to. Thus, they reject it for their child so that they can reject it for themselves. Give some thought as to if this could be your husband's issue. Knowing WHY will give you a good place to start.
I wish I knew why! I know it is not because hubby isn't the bilogical father. He did adopt him after we married but it could not be passed. I hope other reader will give me some advice on how they handle theirs!



buryuntime
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23 Mar 2009, 7:17 pm

What part does he think is "bull"? Asperger's all together or that your son is AS?



stacieberry
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24 Mar 2009, 11:41 am

buryuntime wrote:
What part does he think is "bull"? Asperger's all together or that your son is AS?
I think the fact our son has asperger's ! He just wants to blame our son on being hard headed or just down right mean! I knew from about 3 years old he was different but did not know why. His speech teacher in head start was the one who mentioned AS to us. He just blow it off. (my husband) but I fought for four years to get him help! Basically by my self with no support from him!



javabuz
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24 Mar 2009, 12:13 pm

my husband was resistant at first, but then realized after a few months and tons of reading, that he too has undiagnosed AS. He cried when he read one of the books..."this is me" he said. (he is not a crier) He has really come along as we do our interventions and he sees how it works.



RhondaR
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24 Mar 2009, 2:29 pm

At first I think my husband thought I was just looking for a reason why our son was tougher to parent...but then I did some reading, shared some things I'd learned - and now my husband and I are a united front. (not that we ever weren't, but he is completely on board with it as opposed to still not being sure)



stacieberry
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24 Mar 2009, 8:01 pm

I have read to him and let him come to some of our appointments but it just does not seem to help!



mmstick
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25 Mar 2009, 2:59 am

From my point of view I like being an asperger.
It is certainly better than acting like the general population.


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ster
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25 Mar 2009, 7:19 am

both my son & hubby have AS, so , Yeah I believe he supports it



javabuz
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25 Mar 2009, 7:32 am

stacie,
It will feel lonely at first, but if he can see how affective new techniques and interventions can be, he wiill likely come around. We are having the same problem with one of my son's teachers...but now that she is seeing how well the charts/timelines work and other calming techniques, I think she is really coming around



stacieberry
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25 Mar 2009, 10:04 am

Thanks for all the replies! I hope to get some books that maybe he will read!