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Padium
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26 Mar 2009, 4:57 pm

I don't ever really have conversations, the exception being with close family over specific topics. Instead I eiter have debates, monologues, or am listening to a monologue, or the conversation is dead and silent because noone has anything to say...

How can I get past this, and actually learn to converse? Also, I think my conversations with close family is more of a debate than a conversation...



Sorenna
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26 Mar 2009, 5:10 pm

HiPad-

Something that helped me a lot is to goto univserity .

MOst people there are not into convers. but I found people who were into the things I liked and there I found great convers.

I think we often think we are different when we can't convserse, but no one can. If you go to a restaurant and listen, poeple are saying nothing. It is monologue, debate, etc, like you said. It is not jsut you.

Go to where smart people are. Smartpeople are much better at discourse.



ngonz
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26 Mar 2009, 5:10 pm

I ask people about themselves. There is nothing people like to talk about more than themselves. Then I interject a comment or two and before you know it, we are having a give-and-take conversation.


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Padium
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26 Mar 2009, 5:58 pm

ngonz wrote:
I ask people about themselves. There is nothing people like to talk about more than themselves. Then I interject a comment or two and before you know it, we are having a give-and-take conversation.


That's difficult... I like to talk about one of my "safe" topics where I can appear normal, or not talk at all... and one topic that always qualifies as a "safe" topic is randomness, which always screws me over because noone likes useless interjection... Randomness is like the "let's change the subject" safe topic.



CambridgeSuperman
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26 Mar 2009, 6:16 pm

yeah i noticed i had the same problem about 6 years ago. My method round was to listen to speech radio a lot. If you're from the uk, i'm talking (scuse the pun!) about radio 4 and five live. You ca listen to them online:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/radio/bbc_radio_four
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/radio/bbc_radio_five_live

Radio 4 is very middle class, but high quality, radio with a range of programmes covering everything art, current affairs, science and ethics, comedy and lots of fictional stuff like drama and even a long running radio soup opera

Five Live is more light hearted and banterous news and sports discussions

I just have them playing in the background whilst i'm falling asleep and waking up.



dougn
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27 Mar 2009, 12:28 am

I think the only way to learn how to do it is by practice.

CambridgeSuperman's idea is also very good.