Do NT Parents Ever Fully Accept Autism?

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Joined: 26 Sep 2008
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02 Apr 2009, 4:50 am

What about undiagnosed parents who show strong AS traits and social difficulties, but they dismiss these as being "how things are", "bad luck" or that they're "a little shy"?

What if they've unwittingly formulated some life coping strategies or are actually part AS/NT?

They don't like talking or dwelling on their own weaknesses (who does?).
They can look frightened like deer caught in the headlights, when (shock horror) their kids are like a genetic mirror. And of course, the parents look through rose tinted glasses to see that there is nothing "wrong" with them and they're so "fantastic", so how could there be anything wrong with their child?

I think that some parents don't want their kids labeled or are in denial because they think it was cause unnecessary stigma and limit the kid's opportunities later in life. Also, if the diagnosis doesn't offer any helpful or productive services/support, the parents could legitimately question the usefulness of a diagnosis. This is especially true if the parents muddled and struggled through alone. If they could do it, why can't the child do it?

Parents like this growing up in an NT world and not knowing any better can become "image conscious" and therefore want their kids to be shining stars to show off to other people. They also want their kids not to have the same weaknesses and difficulties they had when growing up.

In my experience, there no reason why parents exhibiting traits can't be in denial for years and sometimes hide things from each other about the child, so that the other partner doesn't get mad.

Labeling, unfortunately, can cause rifts in families and between the child and the peer group. This is why many people have told me that I shouldn't label myself and should forget about the label all together. Employment discrimination, ostracism, bullying etc...

Even members of the family can bully especially if they're ignorant of what's going on and the medical profession only supplies negativity or misleading information about the child. This has been my experience.

My parents accept me fully as a person, but only if I don't have the AS label.
They've said that there's "Nothing wrong with me." and in a way, they're right.