Do you feel like you get worse with time?

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Jacob12
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06 Apr 2009, 8:27 pm

Good for you being positive, we need more of that.



mechanicalgirl39
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07 Apr 2009, 2:21 pm

Now that I hear it mentioned...yes...

I think it could be my own mentality though. I don't alter myself to try and conform to whatever the local zeitgeist demands.

I'm also less tolerant of narrow mindedness. When I was younger if people called me weird I'd try and be a bit more self contained.

Now if someone picks on me for being a bit different I go all out to piss them off. I probably shouldn't but I do. I get progressively pissed off at how narrow minded people are. I mean a few weeks a ago a girl told me I looked scary because I'm thin and my muscles are visible. What the f**k? If I had the words 'f**k off' tattooed on my forehead, I'd understand her attitude, but I can't help being wiry, and even if I could, a little sinew line is not that horrid to look at.

So yes....I'm not exactly little miss eager-to-please...



knowledgeiskey
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09 Apr 2009, 9:05 pm

Yes


I was more assertive when I was younger. I was more confident and more out going. I don't know what it is. As I got older, I've became more self conscious of myself. I used to make friends easily when I was younger. In fact, I was a well known student in middle school, but as soon as I got in my teens, my social skills have diminished.

I think the reason why It gets worse for us aspies is because we are more cognizable of our quirkiness. As we get older, we tend to be more aware of what others think of us.



Greentea
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16 Apr 2009, 1:49 pm

The more aware I am, the less I allow treating me like a doormat, the less people I have in my life.


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Jael
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16 Apr 2009, 9:47 pm

Kirska wrote:
I feel like my friend making skills are getting progressively worse as I get older. Right now, I basically feel like I have no friend making skills.

Anyone else experience this?


Yes. As I get older, I am doing better professionally, but worse socially. I have not made a new friend in years.



luchog
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16 Apr 2009, 11:41 pm

I've gotten considerably better than I was in my teens; but as an adult, I can't say things have improved or degraded. I seem to go in cycles, sometimes doing better, sometimes doing worse. Overall its been pretty consistent for quite a few years.



drowbot0181
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17 Apr 2009, 10:05 am

My social skills have waxed and waned over the years. When I didn't have a computer, I had friends and was much more social. In hindsight, though, I was very unhappy during that time and didn't feel like myself at all. It was more like a personality I was trying on.
Since finding out that I have Asperger's in December, though, I have really just stopped trying to be normal as I don't see the point. My wife thinks it is sad as I often comment that I don't want friends and actively avoid social interaction whenever possible.



richardbenson
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17 Apr 2009, 10:13 am

no, i remain the same socially. wich is not at all, my memory is getting worse by the day though. pretty soon im going to forget everything and will probably kill myself when im 30



stros
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21 Apr 2009, 4:39 pm

knowledgeiskey wrote:
Yes


I was more assertive when I was younger. I was more confident and more out going. I don't know what it is. As I got older, I've became more self conscious of myself. I used to make friends easily when I was younger. In fact, I was a well known student in middle school, but as soon as I got in my teens, my social skills have diminished.

I think the reason why It gets worse for us aspies is because we are more cognizable of our quirkiness. As we get older, we tend to be more aware of what others think of us.


Fortunatly, when I was in highschool, even throughout college, I had friends. In the past 5 years I began to notice how my views, methods in conversing with people were different. A little over a year ago, I was in a group with some people I knew, but majority I didn't know, it was brutal. After that, I realized, from research,. I had aspergers. Now i'm more self conscious of my thoughts, wording..everything. NOW I'm anxious whenever I speak to strangers, or sometimes even to people who i know....

I think I would be better off thinking/feeling that people are stupid, and they have a problem, rather than myself having aspergers, and everyone else is normal...

Don't get diagnosed....



Jacob12
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21 Apr 2009, 8:51 pm

Don't get diagnosed? Why? I got diagnosed in Kindergarden. Helped me tremendously.



kaitlyn_loves_music
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21 Apr 2009, 10:21 pm

yeah same here.
i dont have as much friends as i did when i was little.



stros
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22 Apr 2009, 8:29 pm

instead being diagnosed; people are better off seeking assistance in approving social skills.



Cicely
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23 Apr 2009, 6:37 pm

I definitely feel like I get worse and worse over time. My social skills have actually improved a bit - I know things like what not to talk about - but my ability to make friends is much worse. The biggest reason for this is that I developed pretty severe social anxiety when I was in middle school.



Jacob12
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23 Apr 2009, 7:09 pm

Quote:
instead being diagnosed; people are better off seeking assistance in approving social skills.


Being diagnosed doesn't impede that at all, it actually helps you to get assistance in social skills. In 4th grade I did some of that, helped alot.



jdn74
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24 Apr 2009, 2:33 am

I sense the hopelessness that some of you have, some of it from my own experiences, and it grips my heart. So I just want to point out a few things.

First, you can't expect to always have the same amount of friends later in life like you may have had at any point of time in school. I'm not sure it really works that way for anyone except a few socialites.

Second, one good friend is worth more than 10 worthless or mediocre friends. It took me a long time to find that person. I even prayed for it! But even after I found that great friend, after 8 years, we parted. My conclusion is simply "it happens". He has gone through a lot in the last 8 years and perhaps needs to find his own conclusions without me. I was his absolute best friend, but yet I could always tell that there was still a reservation somewhere deep inside of him. He compartmentalized me. It was great while it lasted and I was happy to have met him and been able to share myself with him for that long. But his loyalties to me were not the same as mine to him and eventually it rifted our relationship. I was devastated for quite some time. I just try to be understanding regardless of whether or not I get it in return... and I know that at least I'm better off for it.

It just seems like there are seasons in life... and its up to us to learn from those seasons - good and bad. I have definitely improved my social skills over the years. I've found that my personal key to happiness is to be content with or without. Even the act of being able to relate to others on this board, though it ISN'T the same as a face to face friend, still means that I'm never truly alone. So my chin is up. Depression just isn't worth my time anymore and anymore I just mentally do a "talk to the hand" gesture to it. I just refuse to be depressed. A diagnosis is a diagnosis, but a my decisions determine the course of my life regardless of that.

Anyway, I hope I wasn't ranting. I just wanted to give you all a few things to ponder.


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