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AutisticMalcontent
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19 Apr 2009, 9:10 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
I am starting to see that I might be slightly asexual (I am male) without even realizing it , I am not sure if such thing exists since one would be either asexual or not.

- Since I was teen at school , I was never so 'crazy' about girls , that means that I never involuntary or voluntary made any gestures when a hot girl pass by, I was always the only one who doesn't react among a bunch of guys, sometimes I don't even notice for what they are making all these gestures and sounds.

-I never felt the 'need' that I should lose my virginity, I was been invited by colleagues(males) during college to go to Brothels/nudity clubs , yet I never went with them. I am atheist ,and I don't believe doing this is wrong and I don't believe that sex for entertainment is a 'sin' that would take me to hell, yet I never felt the urge or the need to go to such 'activity' nor I felt it would be my kind of place.

-Unlike many guys, I never post bikini/hot girls pictures as my Desktop's or my phone's wallpaper nor I put such pic/callenders in my room. I was never interested in looking at some hot celebs' pictures.

- Adult and sex topics usually don't really interest me.

- Talking about 'hotties' with guys doesn't really interest me.


On the other hand I do watch porn and I do the ...ehem...the little dirty thing just some kinda of a relief, but that's all and once it's done , it's done.

So is there something called 'Slightly asexual" anyways?


You know, if you look at porn and masturbate, there is no doubt whatsoever that you're straight. As for the other criteria, maybe you're just more mature than most guys. I think I'm light years ahead of my neurotypical brethren in manners and verbal/emotional restraint, and you just might be the same way I am.

Slightly asexual? Rather unlikely.



dougn
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21 Apr 2009, 9:04 pm

If there is such a thing as slightly asexual, you're still not it.

Frankly you just sound like a normal, not sex-crazed or sex-obsessed person. Just because you don't make rude gestures at girls or want to go to strip clubs or discuss sex all the time certainly doesn't make you asexual.

There are a lot of different definitions of "asexual" but I am not aware of any that you meet, not even slightly.



JennaJ
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21 Apr 2009, 10:45 pm

dougn wrote:
If there is such a thing as slightly asexual, you're still not it.

Frankly you just sound like a normal, not sex-crazed or sex-obsessed person. Just because you don't make rude gestures at girls or want to go to strip clubs or discuss sex all the time certainly doesn't make you asexual.

There are a lot of different definitions of "asexual" but I am not aware of any that you meet, not even slightly.


I agree. To me he sounds like he has a lower libido than some guys and a more mature outlook on sex. Some people have a much higher drive than others. Guys with lower libido can often mistake it for asexual but it is just that their needs are not as high as some of their male counterparts.

Asexual, truly asexual people, have really no interest in sex wtih a man or a woman, nor do they care to get off watching porn regardless of the gender portrayed in it.

This thought usually occurs for more women then men because as a group women tend to have lower libidos by percentage of their gender than men. Surely not ALL women as my sex drive probaby rivals many men, but a lot of women have lower sex drives and they simply don't even want sex and can mistaken this as being asexual.

Asexual means devoid of having and desiring sex, and masterbating to porn is a sexual activity and shows at least SOME sexual interest.



dougn
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22 Apr 2009, 1:51 am

JennaJ wrote:
Asexual, truly asexual people, have really no interest in sex wtih a man or a woman, nor do they care to get off watching porn regardless of the gender portrayed in it.

...

Asexual means devoid of having and desiring sex, and masterbating to porn is a sexual activity and shows at least SOME sexual interest.

Actually, the asexual "community" seems to prefer the definition that an asexual person "is not sexually attracted to other people."

Some of them have a physical libido so they masturbate or have sex with other people just because it fulfills that physical need, but they are not sexually attracted to them. So it does not necessarily mean lack of sexual desire. Other people who call themselves asexual have sex with their partners to please their partners.

(I would say that if you masturbate to porn of women though, then you are almost certainly sexually attracted to women, ergo, not asexual.)

I think we need more flexible terms for sexual orientations but LePetitPrince seems to fit the definition of a heterosexual perfectly; it doesn't even sound to me like he has a low libido, it just sounds like he is more reserved about sex than a lot of other men are.



LePetitPrince
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22 Apr 2009, 5:39 am

dougn wrote:
JennaJ wrote:
Asexual, truly asexual people, have really no interest in sex wtih a man or a woman, nor do they care to get off watching porn regardless of the gender portrayed in it.

...

Asexual means devoid of having and desiring sex, and masterbating to porn is a sexual activity and shows at least SOME sexual interest.

Actually, the asexual "community" seems to prefer the definition that an asexual person "is not sexually attracted to other people."

Some of them have a physical libido so they masturbate or have sex with other people just because it fulfills that physical need, but they are not sexually attracted to them. So it does not necessarily mean lack of sexual desire. Other people who call themselves asexual have sex with their partners to please their partners.

(I would say that if you masturbate to porn of women though, then you are almost certainly sexually attracted to women, ergo, not asexual.)

I think we need more flexible terms for sexual orientations but LePetitPrince seems to fit the definition of a heterosexual perfectly; it doesn't even sound to me like he has a low libido, it just sounds like he is more reserved about sex than a lot of other men are.


Anyways, the real definition of asexual is self-reproduction :lol:, so any human can't be asexual

As for asexuality as sexuality form, as you're saying I am not asexual based on the wiki definition of asexuality: "Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes individuals who do not experience sexual attraction."

but that one makes you confused:

"Arousal
For some sexual arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners. Some will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal. Because we don’t care about sex, asexual people generally do not see a lack of sexual arousal as a problem to be corrected, and focus their energy on enjoying other types of arousal and pleasure."

http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

That's me.


Anyways, after reading more about the subject I think that asexuality is just another pseudo-scientific label of low drive or zero drive.



0_equals_true
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22 Apr 2009, 5:51 am

LePetitPrince I am sort of like this now, I think of it more of a survival mechanism. It is mostly down to my emotional blunting. I can still get horny but it sort of something I can choose to do, it in not essential. Remember those about going x days without having a wank. I thought I could easily win that. When I was a teen it was different. Now I seek a different sort of bond. What I am worried about is my emotional blunting will make that kind of interaction difficult too. I kind of think it I have that sort of bond with someone I would enjoy the sex too.



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22 Apr 2009, 6:49 am

0_equals_true wrote:
I kind of think if I have that sort of bond with someone I would enjoy the sex too.

I hate to break it to you, but: NOT necessarily.



LePetitPrince
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22 Apr 2009, 9:44 am

0_equals_true wrote:
LePetitPrince I am sort of like this now, I think of it more of a survival mechanism. It is mostly down to my emotional blunting. I can still get horny but it sort of something I can choose to do, it in not essential. Remember those about going x days without having a wank. I thought I could easily win that. When I was a teen it was different. Now I seek a different sort of bond. What I am worried about is my emotional blunting will make that kind of interaction difficult too. I kind of think it I have that sort of bond with someone I would enjoy the sex too.


You're sort of like this now ....as for me I was always like that , I didn't even had the emotional need to get into relationship before 22.



LePetitPrince
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22 Apr 2009, 9:46 am

AutisticMalcontent wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
I am starting to see that I might be slightly asexual (I am male) without even realizing it , I am not sure if such thing exists since one would be either asexual or not.

- Since I was teen at school , I was never so 'crazy' about girls , that means that I never involuntary or voluntary made any gestures when a hot girl pass by, I was always the only one who doesn't react among a bunch of guys, sometimes I don't even notice for what they are making all these gestures and sounds.

-I never felt the 'need' that I should lose my virginity, I was been invited by colleagues(males) during college to go to Brothels/nudity clubs , yet I never went with them. I am atheist ,and I don't believe doing this is wrong and I don't believe that sex for entertainment is a 'sin' that would take me to hell, yet I never felt the urge or the need to go to such 'activity' nor I felt it would be my kind of place.

-Unlike many guys, I never post bikini/hot girls pictures as my Desktop's or my phone's wallpaper nor I put such pic/callenders in my room. I was never interested in looking at some hot celebs' pictures.

- Adult and sex topics usually don't really interest me.

- Talking about 'hotties' with guys doesn't really interest me.


On the other hand I do watch porn and I do the ...ehem...the little dirty thing just some kinda of a relief, but that's all and once it's done , it's done.

So is there something called 'Slightly asexual" anyways?


You know, if you look at porn and masturbate, there is no doubt whatsoever that you're straight. As for the other criteria, maybe you're just more mature than most guys. I think I'm light years ahead of my neurotypical brethren in manners and verbal/emotional restraint, and you just might be the same way I am.

Slightly asexual? Rather unlikely.


I believe I was always behind others when it comes to maturity. Maybe it's the lack of maturity is the reason? :P



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22 Apr 2009, 5:53 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

Anyways, the real definition of asexual is self-reproduction :lol:, so any human can't be asexual


Got my definition straight from good old Webster.

As with many words there are typically several variations/definitons that are correct in context.
So yes, in that case some people CAN be asexual.


1: lacking sex or functional sex organs <asexual plants>
2 a: involving or reproducing by reproductive processes (as cell division, spore formation, fission, or budding) that do not involve the union of individuals or gametes <asexual reproduction> <an asexual generation> b: produced by asexual reproduction <asexual spores>
3: devoid of sexuality >



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23 Apr 2009, 2:57 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
As for asexuality as sexuality form, as you're saying I am not asexual based on the wiki definition of asexuality: "Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes individuals who do not experience sexual attraction."

but that one makes you confused:

"Arousal
For some sexual arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners. Some will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal. Because we don’t care about sex, asexual people generally do not see a lack of sexual arousal as a problem to be corrected, and focus their energy on enjoying other types of arousal and pleasure."

http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

That's me.

Now I am more confused. ;)

I didn't get the impression from your original post that you have no interest in a sexual partner.

If that's the case, I take it back, you may fit the definition. I'm very familiar with the site you linked to and it does still use the definition of asexuality as a lack of sexual attraction - note that it says, "arousal ... is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners."

If that's you, and you feel like calling yourself asexual, there's no reason not to, though you will find a lot of people getting the wrong idea of what you mean unless you explain yourself constantly.



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23 Apr 2009, 2:14 pm

I just had this conversation with a guy on MSN:

Guy: Are you horny?
Me: No, I'm asexual.
Guy: WHAT? BUT THAT'S LIKE THE BEST THING EVER!
Me: No, I don't think so.
Guy: SUCK MY C*CK!

And yes, he really capitalized the letters.

To me, the sexual urges people have seems like that of an animal.


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LePetitPrince
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24 Apr 2009, 7:50 am

dougn wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
As for asexuality as sexuality form, as you're saying I am not asexual based on the wiki definition of asexuality: "Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes individuals who do not experience sexual attraction."

but that one makes you confused:

"Arousal
For some sexual arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners. Some will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal. Because we don’t care about sex, asexual people generally do not see a lack of sexual arousal as a problem to be corrected, and focus their energy on enjoying other types of arousal and pleasure."

http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

That's me.

Now I am more confused. ;)

I didn't get the impression from your original post that you have no interest in a sexual partner.

If that's the case, I take it back, you may fit the definition. I'm very familiar with the site you linked to and it does still use the definition of asexuality as a lack of sexual attraction - note that it says, "arousal ... is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners."

If that's you, and you feel like calling yourself asexual, there's no reason not to, though you will find a lot of people getting the wrong idea of what you mean unless you explain yourself constantly.


but wouldn't that be the same definition of voluntary celibacy?